Psycho Archeology. V, O

Hello, Everyone

 

    Years after being diagnosed with Brain Tumor (which lead me to start writing this blog) I was often asked by my readers, how could I be so Fearless... People couldn't believe, that anyone, who just found  out about her Brain Tumor, is able to be joking and asking for help in Naming it.. ("Tum") and  how just   a week before the surgery, is hosting a big "Goodbye party" for the tumor... (Bon Voyage Tum).

   Looking back, it seems that I have always been this way (Fearless). Even as a child, I was climbing the tallest trees, jumping from the highest places and (almost) always landing on my feet! I used to convince my friends, to go with me into spooky and scary places and had the 'guts', to argue with our teachers, even those who were very strict... At twenty one, after my military service, I traveled by myself in Italy, France Germany and Switzerland, continuing to the US and worked as a teacher in Jewish schools, in order to pay for my collage and rent... I traveled by bus, all over this gigantic continent (no money for airplanes...) and visited remote Indian Reservations, National Parks and places I have read about, or saw in the movies... I could never understand, why people were so astonished by my "Courage"...  It was simple; I would think about whatever I wished to do, plan it, save money, buy a ticket and go for it... (usually by bus...)  I was always amazed, as well as amused, to see how fearful kids (and adults) were,when they found themselves in cretin scary situations, which never frightened me at all....

  A year or so, after my husband Al and I moved to California, with our three years old daughter Karen, I heard about 'Consciousness Expanding seminar' named EST. Always looking for new ways to 'Broaden my horizons', I signed up... It was one of the most important and Life changing experience I have ever  had...There were about a hundred people, sitting in a large windowless lecture hall, when at one point, we were asked to close our eyes and get in touch with our worst fears... All around me, people were crying screaming and shuffling their feet (as if they wanted to escape)Yet, as hard as I tried to experience Fear, I could not stop laughing... In spite of the"order" to keep our eyes closed, I kept mine half open and was looking at the people around me... I noticed with amazement  their faces, which were twisted in various expressions of Terror...X"I can't believe how terrified they are!"  I told myself and for some reason it made me laugh... Later, as the participants were sharing their Fear, I  had nothing to say; besides the fact that I was Unable to get in touch with fears, since I was rarely afraid! 

  Later, people came to tell me how envious they were, but instead of enjoying their complements, I felt uncomfortable... Fear, I realized, is one of the Primary Human Emotions, which are meant to protect us! Being unable to experience it, made me feel as if I was missing, a very important human emotion...This realization, gave birth to a new and strange feeling of being Different; I felt 'Isolated' and lonely, as if something was 'wrong with me', (though I have always enjoyed my Freedom from Fear). Since my family friends and even stranger, were always expressing their Astonishment, I decided to try and find out, what  was it all about... Realizing that all children have fears, I searched my memory for any 'Old Fears' I must have experienced in my childhood, asking my subconscious mind, to release any hidden memories of fear and was finaly able to uncover two such occasions... The first, when I was two and a half years old and the second when I turned four...

Jerusalem, Israel 1945

Ima and me

  I am about two years old, sitting in my stroller, which 'Ima' (my mom) is pushing down Jaffa Street; the rode which connects Jerusalem to Jaffa... I am leaning back in my sit looking with fascination at the coffee shops, where people are sitting next to small tables; drinking, eating, smoking and talking... Some of them were reading Newspapers and listening to the music from the radio... The ladies' lips were very red, a few were wearing hats with colorful feathers on top. The men's hats looked like an Upside Down 'Flower Pots', the same as those we have on our porch.A man  was standing near a building, playing music on a very 'Small Piano' he was holding in his hands... I point at the small piano, looking at Ima questioningly... She tells me that it is called an Accordion and puts a few coins, in the little cup on the sidewalk, next to the man's shoe... From my low vantage point in the stroller, I am able to see many legs and all kinds of shoes, passing me by...The ladies have a 'long black line', on the back of their legs and their high heels shoes, make nice clicking sounds!

   In the store windows, I see dolls as big as people, wearing dresses and hats... Other shops have Pots and Pans, like those we have in our kitchen... When I see a store with toys, I begin to squirm in my stroller trying to get out and touch them, or at least look at them closer, but Ima refuses to let me out... I begin to cry and kick my legs, I feel like a prisoner, though I don't know yet the words to describe my frustration! In order to quiet me down, Ima stops at a small 'kiosk' and buys me and my brother an ice cream cone...

  Only once before, did I taste this 'cold sweat wonder'...when my mother bought an ice cream cone for      my brother Rami, who is five years older then me. Seeing Rami licking his ice cream, with relish, and I demand to have one too! Ima lets me taste his ice cream, then hands it back to him.. When I ask for more  she whispered something in Rami ear and he disappeared behind her back. Ima turns to me and says:“No more more ice cream, all gone!" I keep on turning around in my seat, looking for my brother who is popping up from behind Ima's  back; shows me the cone, takes a lick with a sigh of great pleasure, sticks his tongue at me and hides again... I thought he was playing 'Peek-a-Boo' game with me, so I was laughing each time he showed up, but when I see him licking the ice cream, with great pleasure and remember how Ima said “All gone!” I became very confused and started to cry.. Ima, who turned around and saw what Rami was doing, took the ice cream cone from him and put it in a nearby trash can. Rami started to wail and it makes me cry even louder...

   In later years, whenever  I was thinking of this incident, I would wonder what were the Immature Emotions, which were beginning to form in my 'Newly developed mind'...Was it a budding understanding of 'Lies and feelings of Betrayal, Hurt and Rejection', when my brother kept taunting me with the cone? Could it also be the Joy of revenge, when Ima took away the cone from him and threw it away? Or maybe feelings of guilt, mixed with compassion and love, for my older brother who was crying... However, this time I was alone with Ima, holding my very own cone; licking the ice cream and sinking into a cloud of Pink and White sweet pleasure... From time to time, Ima would take the cone away and lick the streams of ' Melting ice cream'...."No! Mine! Mine!" I protest loudly. Ima explains to me that she is licking the cone, so I will not dirty my pretty new dress. She gives it back to and I resume the 'delicious pleasure' of losing myself in this 'Sugary dream'... From time to time I look at Ima with suspicion, whenever she slows down and bends to wipe my face. I try to hide the cone from her saying "No! Mine!" It makes Ima laugh...I love the sound of her laughter and I also begin laughing...  

   Our vegetarian parents did not usually allow us to have ice cream, however since "Children want to be like other kids..." they allowed us to have it "Once in a while!"  Years later, when I was about eight or nine, I would have a Fantasy that someone invents an ice cream, which will 'Never Come to an End'...    Let's go back to the story about my Younger Self... I am sitting in my stroller, going down Jaffa street enjoying my ice cream, when all of a sudden I hear a blood-curdling scream! My mother, who didn't see the beggar woman, sitting on the sidewalk, bumped into the woman's outstretched legs with my stroller...  I find myself staring into the eyes of a horrible screaming Monster... Her filthy gray hair covers a part of her face, the toothless mouth, seems like a dark cave and her screaming hurt my ears... My little body begins to shake with fear, but I can not take my eyes away from her... A terrible smell is coming from this woman and I am shaking with fear! I want to scream, but nothing comes out of my mouth... People begin to gather around us; some are annoyed at Ima, for not being more careful and hurting this poor woman!  Ima is pouring coins from her little red wallet, into the beggar's lap...  I finally begin to get out of my frozen state and hand my ice cream cone to the Monster... Could it be an instinctive gesture of Ancient Sacrificial Ceremony, popping up from the depth of my DNA? An old memory, which reminds me to give my most Treasured Possession to the Gods, in order to stay alive?  "The Monster" garbs the Ice cream con shoving it in to her mouth... I am frozen by 'Primal Fear', so different from the great pleasure, I was having just a few moments ago and the memory stops there... 

With Love and Light,
Shira

My roots VO

Hello everyone,

    In my previous post Who Am I,  I described my present life as an adult... I once read, that"We are        the  Sum  of all our Childhood Experiences and those of our parents, their parents and those who came      before them"... In this, post I plan to go back in time and write about some of the stories, I have heard  from my parents, aunts, uncles and older cousins; about our 'family's History... My grandparents from  bouth sides, decided to immigrate from  Russia to Palestine (future Israel) at the turn of the century,  inspired by Theodor Herzl, the well known Jewish Author and Journalist,who encouraged the European  Jew, to leave Europe and move to Palestine; the future Israel; the 'Promised land'...  Herzel, who was     covering the "Dreyfus Affair", for Newspapers in Paris and Vienna; was alarmed by the  the waves of Antisemitism during this Trail, realized that the 'Dreyfus Affair, was just the beginning of 'Up coming  wave of Antisemitism in Europe... For many years, Herzl was publishing articles, about the"Up Coming danger of Antisemitism", gave lecturers, wrote his Best Selling book"; The Old-'New Land', about the European Jews, and about an upcoming wave of Antisemitism... Urging the Jewish people in Uurop, to move to Palestine,which was then, under the rule of Turkey; the Ottoman Empire. Herzel was erging the European Jews, to sell all their material possessions, in order to make this  important move, which will save them, from an Up Coming Catastroph in Europe!

   My father's parents, who arrived to Palestine in1905, during the "Second Wave of Immigration"          setteled in Jerusalem. My grandfather was a very religions Jew, who made his living, by creating         small models of the Biblical Holy places in and around Jerusalem... My father who was born in Jerusalem, was the youngest of six children: His older brother Jacob, was drafted into the Turkish        Army, during the First World War and was never heard from again... My grandfather never gave              up the hope, that his eldest son, is still alive and believed that one day he will come back home...  

The Cohen family; 3 sisters
2 younger brothers

   Shoshana, Lea and Rachel; were my father's older sisters; Aron, his     brother, was older then him, in four years... As a young child, I loved         to listen to my dad's stories, about his childhood and was especially   moved and sad for him, when he told me, how when he was about six  years old, his mother died from pneumonia, at the age of forty three...      His sisters Lea and Rachel, left the house to study Nursing and became Midwives (an extremely respectable profession at that time)... Shoshana   my dad's oldest sister was a  teacher, as well as a writer, who's poems       and short stories, were published in the local Newspapers and Magazines. Shoshana was an adventures; For several years she lived in Egypt, working in King Faruk's Palace, as a teacher for his children. She would later move to Europe and was teaching Hebrew and Jewish history at Jewish schools,    in Germany and England... Besides teaching, Shoshana was giving lectures, at Jewish kcommunities and swas preding Theodor Herzl's warning, about the wave of Antisemitism, which is about to sweep Europe... She urged her new friends, to sell their homes and move to their Biblical homeland, which during those days, was under the rull of  Turkey; the Otoman Empaier...My aunt Shoshana, became involved in the budding Suffragettes Movement, which started in England an eventualy became, the"Women Liberation Movement"... 

    While working in Germany, Shoshana became interested in Vegetarianism, which was gaining popularity during that time... In London, she made friends with some of the well known intellectuals of  the time, among them the authors Oscar Wild and George Bernard Show, with whom she corespondent  for many years, after returning home to Palestine... My aunt Shoshana, introduced her two sisters to the new idea of Vegetarianism, which was very popular in Germany, during that period of time... The three    of them, adopted this new way of life with 'Fanatic Enthusiasm'... Shoshana believed in the 'Suffragettes' idea  that "Marriage, was a form of Slavery!" She convinced her sisters that since the three of them had  good professions, which made them be Financially Independent Women, who are capable of caring for themselves... They dicleard that as "Liberated women"' do not have to get married and become "Slaves to a husband!" My three aunts never got married ...

The Dubnikov family

   My mother's family, the Dubnikov's, came to Palestine from Russia around the same time my dad's family did... Hoever, unlike my father's family, they were not religious at all, they declared themselves as Zionists, following Herzl's vision of settling in Israel, the promised Jewish land! Unlike my dad's family, my mom's parents, were not religious; but Zionists! who came  back to our old country, to rebuild the Jewish Home Land! However, instead of finding a land of "Milk and Honey, mthey met the local premetive Arabs and cruel Turkish Rulers..The family settled in Northern 'Palestine' ready to build an Agricultural Villag,  nfortunantley they found the land, to be full of Swamps and Mosquitos...The women, children as well asthemselves, became sick with Malerya, which took many lives..These New Pioners, began to dry the swamps and build homes, drilled for water and planting wheat,vegetables and fruit groves. After several years of hardship, the Dubnikov family, gave up and moved to a more established settlement; Zicron Yakov. It was among the first Agricultural settlements in Palestine, financed by the well known, French-Jewish Baron :Yakove Rothchild, who edviced the new settlers to build a large wine celler,where they would turne the grapes into wine; for local use, as well as exporting it to other countries...

The village of Zichron Yakov		Locally growing Black, red and green grapes			Wine cellar

  My mother Tsvia, her two sisters Yehudit and Ruth, as well as the younger brother Tsvi, were born and raised in this village, which would play an important chapter, in the history of Israel... During the first world war, when Britain and Turkey  were fighting over the Middle East; members of the Aronson family who lived in Zichron Yakov, spied for the British; passing them information about the Turkish military... The spies were eventually caught, tortured and executed by the Turks and will be known, as the heroic Jewish Spy Organization, Nili; who's members, fought by the side of the Briish, to liberate the country from the primitive, cruel and tyrannical Turkish rulers... In my youth, I took pride in the fact that my mother, was born in this 'Famous Villag', where the well known Aronsons used to be her  neighbors...

Some of the Nili spy ring	General Allenby is entering Jerusalem with the victorious British troops	Sarah and Absalom, the main spies

   My brother and I loved to listen to our "Ima's" (mom) stories, about her childhood... She would describe the magnificent view from the top of the mountain, where their home was built, surrounded by fields and vineyards, with the blue Mediterranean sea sparkling below... My brother and I loved to hear how our mother, sisters and girlfriends; used to play "Hide and go seek" among the grape vines and bring home wild flowers, they picked in the fields, to decorate the table for the Sabbath dinner, on Friday night...

Ima in school
(standing on the right)

A New Year card
from Ima's cousins

   My brother and I had a favorite story, which we kept on asking our mother to tell us, time and time again... It was about the kids in her village who had only one pair of shoes... "If our shoes needed repair we would bring it to the one and only Shoemaker in our village and walk barefoot to school..." "You walked barefoot to school?!" Rami and I would exclaim in shock!  Ima was also telling us how most of the kids as well as the adults ,walked barefoot all  the time, especially in the the summer... X "During those days, the roads were not paved, like in big    cities and most of the people were walking barefoot, on the dirt roads!"x Ima told us...As a child, as well  as in later years, I experienced a repeated dream (Rather a nightmare...) in which I was walking barefoot to school and my class-room friends and teachers, are pointing at my bare feet and laugh... Some of my mom's teachers, who later became well known scholars and writers, instilled in her the love of reading as well as a great respect for books, which many of them were translated into Hebrew; from Russian, as well as English, French, German and Italian... My Ima, passed on to me her passion of reading; as well as her joy of life and the gift of laughter and story gtelling......

   After World War I, Britain put an end to the rule of the Ottoman Empire, and divided the Middle East between France and England... Israel (rather Palestine) became a British Colony and life began to flourish under the new civilized rulers... The British Governors, began to pave the dirt roads, which connected the  remote Arab and Jewish villages, as well as the isolated Kibbutzim and small farms and towns, to the big cities of Haifa, Tel-Aviv and Jerusalem... The new rulers introduced electricity to some of the remote places, creating public schools, police force and ourts of law. Movie theaters, opened up for the first time, as well as the traditional English 'Four O'clock Tea, were introduced and embraced, by some of the Jewish and Arab families... The former citizens of the primitive Turkish rulers, adopted the British and American music and were dancing the popular Swing, Shag, Lindy Hop and the Jitterbug,\ and wdere singing the popular songs; "I am in the Mood for Love," and the "White Cliffs of Dover"... Needless to say that the new civilized rulers, were welcomed by the old settelers, with open arms!  Romances bloom between British soldiers and Jewish young women, in spite of the objection of their strict families... A few got married and moved to England, but most of the affairs came to an end, leaving behind tears and many broken hearts, on bouth sides: Israel and England...

My brother
Rami and I

My brother
and parents

   My parents, who met in Tel Aviv, got married and moved to the  Jerusalem, next to my father's family... My dad accomplished his    old dream and opened a Garage with his partner Moti, where they serviced the cars of the British military, as well as those of the few wealthy Arabs and Jews, who were able to afford a car... My brother Rami, was born in 1938 and I followed five years later, in 1943...

   After living in a small village, my mom was thrilled to be in a Large City!  The tiny apartment we lived in, was always full of people, whose favorite past time besides talking and arguing, was playing cards... My dad, who was a good joke teller, was rewarded by the loud and joyous laughter of our gusts...Life was very good, until rumors began to spread about a 'Madman  named Hitler', who was rising to power in Germany... His shirking voice, which could be heard on the radio, was hurting my ears... Rumors began to spread about a wave of Antisemitism, which started in Germany and was spreading to it's neighboring countries and around Europe."Didn't the Germans learn Anything from their crushing defeat, during the last war? X "Why do they do it again?"x People asked... 

    Below are five excellent movies, describing the historical events, before and during WWI and WWII.

Fiddler on the Roof	The Dreyfus Affair	Golda Meir	Lawrence of Arabia	World War II

With Love and Light,
Shira

x What is my work about. V, O

Hello everyone,

    I am happy to let you know, dear readers, that my last MRI confirmed the fact that Tum the Tumor'    left no traces behind... My Brain is clear and the next medical review, would take place in six months  from now... I realize that some of you, who  started to read  my Tumor Humor blog , only recently, do    not quiet know me... So here are few details which may help...To begin with, I was always an avid reader  attending seminars, lecturers and constantly looking and searching, for new information, regarding human behavior, as well as following the big changes which are taking place around the world... I was always interested in Psychology and Metaphysics fascinated me, as well as any other kind of  new information regarding the human behavior,... The information I gathered through out the years, from many different sources, would eventually be a great help, when I finally became a Clinical Psychologist...

   When my daughter Karen was in 4th grade, she said to me with astonishment:"You know Mom, "It   seems as if you never stopped going to school"... She was right! I was consistently studying, searching, and looking for new information! After receiving my P.h.D in Psychology, one of my friends told me         I was 'Addicted to Learning'... In a way she was right! One of the most impotent and helpful tools I discovered and added to my work, was Hypnotherapy! Looking back it seems I have always been Fearless... After being diagnosed with  Brain Tumor, in my fifties( XX) I gave a Good by party to this unwanted 'visitor',  two weeks before my surgery and decided to name the tumor Tum... At one point during the party, one of my friends, stood up and said the following: "Shira is a woman who looks Satan  in the eye and laughs at him!"... I took it as a great complement and thanked her for this observation... 

   What else could be said about me besides being fearless?  I enjoy reading, writing, travel,  good movies  the theater, host dinner parties at home and listening to classical music... Mosley though I have always  enjoyed spending time with good friends...  I enjoy spending time with my tiny family; my husband Al  our only daughter Karen, her daughter Eliyah (my grandchild) and Moses, our small black and white mix of Maltese, Shiatsu and Toy Poodle (our third dog...) I enjoy spending time with relatives (most of them) with my friends and clients (all of then) adore babies, enjoy decorating our home, work in the garden socialize and have people over for dinner parties, barbecues, conversations and be engaged in stimulating conversations... Above all: "I love to Laugh!"

  Allow me to tell you a bit about my work as a Clinical Hypnotherapist...  To begin with my work is not limited to traditional psychology only... The ward Hypnosis is derived from the "Hypno", which was the God of Sleep in the Greek Mythology... Hypnosis was used as a Healing Tool in ancient Greece,way  before spreading to other countries... Years later, it's use was prohibited by the Catholic Church and made  a come back, during the First World War, due to lack of Morphine, which was needed for surgery... This method was forgotten until it made a comeback in the  early 50's, when it became popular again...

   Another powerful healing method I have been using, is called Voice Dialog...  It was created by Dr. Hal Stone, with whom I was privilege to study... Dr Stone's work, introduces us to the realization, that we are not just One Person... It helps us realize we are made of three important Sub -Personalities, which are the   Vulnerable, Playful and Magical children (group A)... The Adult which is also divided into three, consists  fro the Inner Critic, Pusher and the Perfectionist (group B). It has been said, that Voice Dialogue is not just a Therapy, but actually an Enlightenment...Besides this method, I also adapted (rather embraced) a method named Voice Dialog and other beneficial ways of healing, which takes a much shorter time, to show the results, then our Traditional Therapy...

   Most of us live our lives, without realizing, that one of our 'Sub personalities is taking over... Dr  Stone says that when the "'Child part' of our personality, sits behind the wheel of our car (our life) we may get into many accidents...  I will share with you a cas, of a woman I worked with, several years ago: Sara, a thirty five years old client, came to see me, because she did not want to have children... Her husband  who wanted kids, was threatening with a divorce, if she would not change her mind! Sara had every reason in the book, for her refusal to have kids (some of which made lot's of sens.)  She calmed that after many years of working hard, she and her husband finally achieved their goals! They had a great social life and enjoyed hiking, cursing, swimming and skiing, as well as traveling throughout the US , Europe and the world at large...  Joy feared that having children, would put a stop to it.. "To have a child means a lifelong of commitment, constant worries, big expenses, lack of freedom, serious obligations and overwhelming responsibility!" She said.

   Joy and I worked for a while, scanning her childhood... It seems that her younger brother, suffered from severe Juvenile Diabete andt heir parents seemed to direct most of their attention to him...  As a child Joy felt neglected, abandoned, ignored and unloved... At one point in our work, she remembered herself, as a five years old kid, standing on the kitchen table and declaring to her parents: "I will Never have children!"  Wow, here was a key for her resistance to having a child... "Do you realize Joy, that although, you are now a woman of thirty five, you are still following a decision, made by a Five Years old girl?!”  She was stunned... It was amazing to watch, how quickly all her 'good reasons' for 'not having a child' began to collapse... When I shared this with then, my sixteen years old daughter Karen (without reveling the client's identity) she said: “If I would have listened to my inner five year old child, I would have by now, twelve children and a pink Cadillac..."

   The members of group A (Vulnerable, Playful and Magical children) dislike responsibility...The Playful Child ,would rather play then do chores... The Magical child ,wants to create magic and the Vulnerable child, would rather hide and escape into a 'Safe and protective world of it's own'...  On the other hand we ought to remember, that these inner kids, are responsible for our Pure Joy, Laughter, Playfulness, as well as Creativity, Unconditional Love, our Curiosity an Spontaneity... We should always remember, that these "Kids", are behind the Magic in our life!  I often invite my clients 'Inner kid', to join us at our therapy session, in order to help the "Adult" lighten up!  I will do so by talking directly to these Inner kids, who are always happy to pop up... If the "child" is very sad, I may present it, with my 'silly' Tissue box (below) to dry the tears...( It always makes them laugh)... I may also use my "Magic Wand", to help remove  pain and sadness... Once, when I was showing this Wand, to a ten years old girl, asking her which magic would she like to create, her little face, filled up with excitement "Can we make my sister disappear?"she asked.   

   Group B; the Adult part of the personalty, is very Serious and could be Demanding and Critical, even though (or maybe because) it's goal is to help us become very successful in life... When this group is out of balance, the 'Inner Critic', could do a lot of Damage, by telling an Anorexic teenager, who weighs seventy pounds, that she (or he) are "Too Fat!"...  It is the combination of the Critic, Perfectionist and Pusher, which makes the driving force behind the parents, who scan their child's report card, looking at the five A's and one B and ask: "Why B?!"

   The most important part of Voice dialog, is to be introduced, to the Inner Parts of the clients; so they may learn, how to communicate with one another... It is said:"If you can Name it; you can Tame it!" The goal is to unveil the client's mischievous inner parts and create a dialogue, between them... I also teach how to better  communicate with the needy and Vulnerable Inner children, learn to love these disowned parts and help them become more balanced, by 'Integrate' their inner "kids" with the Adult parts... 

My Tissue box

Kwan Yong, Goddess
of Mercy,with my wand

   My (inner)'Playful child', would like to share with you two photos: One is the tissue box in my office,which makes my crying clients laugh as they reach for a tissue, to wipe off their tears... Next, is the image of that of Kwan Yong,  who is the Hindu Goddess of mercy, who is sitting in the garden holding my "Magic Wand"... The clients, who sit outside, waiting for the one in my office to leave through another door, often say that looking at the expression of peace,on the bronze face, is h reducing their pain and makes them smile again....                             

With Love and Light
Shira

A New Beginning V,O

Hello everyone,

  After the ordeal with Tum the tumor was over, I attempted to go back to writing, but was worried that anything I write, may be anti climactic, compared to what I have written so far... After al,what can I write about which 'beat' a brain tumor? "Just write about Yourself!" came the answer. "Your thoughts, work  and your spiritual development"." My readers and friends told me...

" It may be so boring!" I said... "You Boring?! You may be many things Shira, but 'Boring' you are not!   Just make a commitment to write and do it!" came the answer, but I kept on resisting:"I am a Gemini as you  know." I said "I tend to jump from one thing to another, how can I obligate myself to write on a regular basis, like the 'Normal' bloggers do? Besides, I am very busy with my work, my small family, our social life, all kinds of seminars and constantly look, for new information in the Metaphysical Field, to use it in my work...  At times, I could be all over the place, just like a 'Scattered Brain' Professor,' as my dad used to say... I wish I was more disciplined, consistent and organized - but I am not... Maybe I should simply sit and write whenever I feel like, with out making such a big Drama about every thing!"

  I always loved to write... I began writing poetry when I was nine years old. When I was eleven, I               owned a 'Special' Hard Cover Notebook, which became my Dairy... I remember almost "Passing out  from excitement"; when my parents bought me a Manual Typewriter for my twelve birthday...Years        later, after moving to California, I sent letters to several television stations, asking if they would consider having "One hour a day of Good News Only!" I included information about studies, linking depression and violent behavior, to the Negative news in the Media and named several studies, which proved the effects it has on the minds of children as well as the adults! I never heard back...

  But I did not give up... I found several sources of reliable information, assuring us, that our world is not going to "Drown in Negativity and Violence'', as it seems to be doing, on and off, throughout history and learned, that humanity is at the "Dawn of a New Enlightenment!"... One of my favorite information and news about the up coming new Age, comes from Ellen Kaufman Dosick, who resides in Northern California and has been one of my favorite spiritual teachers for many years...

  The Metaphysical knowledge which I received from many sources and different belief systems, helped me in later years to comfert my clients (as well as myself) by learning and spreading the news, that better times are coming and a new wave of Enlightenmen, is on it's way... This Shift, is meant to help us remove the pain we have been experiencing, in our present 3D world and help us begin our Journey to the Fifth Dimension; the 'Spiritual world', which is consistent of pure love, peace and complete harmony, between us people and all of God's creations... In other words,we have been slowly getting ready, to move into a new reality, similar to the one, our forefathers experienced in the Garden of Eden, before humanity was exiled to our present 'Third dimensional' world; as a punishment, for eating the 'Forbidden Fruit' of the Tree of Knowledge...

   I often wondered, what kind of a world we would be living in, if Adam, did not take that first forbidden bit, from the frute of the Tree of Knowledge...If he did not, would mankind keep on living in a paradise of peace, love and friendship, unity and complete harmony? A world were jealousy, competitions, arguments, vindictiveness, hatred and wars; do not exist?...Where people embrace one another, live together and be sharing love, happiness, health and peace; in a world free of conflicts, disagreements, comptition,  hatred arguments, division, suffering and wars? Unfortunately, looking at the state of the world, these days, we seem to be far away from such a place, since most of the world, is still suffering from various kinds of conflicts, upheaval and wars...What went wrong? Was it realy the forbiden apple Adam ate?

  How are we going to deal, with all the stumbling stones, which block our way towards a happier and more peaceful life?  What can we do to make the wrong right? I have been pondering this question for so long, trying to find the right answers, in many different places... When I finally get the answer, I promise to share it with you... Until then, I keep on looking for it, colecting along the way bits of new information about the up coming journey, which humanity is about to go through and finally, find the way to our new spiritual home, in the Fifth Dimension....What is this allusive dimension all about? It seems as if I have been looking for the answer since I was a young child, always looking, searching, waiting...

With Love and Light,
Shira

Life After Tum . V, O ( Fix poem... )X

LIFE AFTER TUM 

   On Thursday, January 31st, around eight thirty in the morning, I arrived at Cedars Sinai hospital...        My family members and close friends were already waiting... They stayed until I was connected to          an IV and was wheeled to the surgery room. I would later be told how amazing it was, to see so such        a"Calm and Fearless Patient" like me !The worried expressions on my visitors face, made me laugh out loud "Why do you worry?" I asked "Look at me, I am not scared at all!" Before long a nurse came    and gave me a shot, which made me feel a bit tipsy... I was searching among the young, good looking doctors for a possible candidate' for my future Son-in-law, but fell asleep before finding one...

   The surgery took about Five Hours... I was later told, that when the nurses tried to wake me up, they were unable to do so... When I finally opened my eyes, I could see my husband, my daughter and few other people, sitting by my bed crying...x"Why are they crying?" I wondered"x Am I dead?" Looking  around I found myself in a beautiful room, decorated with lovely paintings. Near the windows was a  sitting area, with a sofa and few chairs, upholstered in calming pastel colors... For  a few moments it seemed as if I was staying in a magnificent hotel... Later I would learn, that Al made sure I would be        in the most beautiful (and expensive) part of the hospital and seen, by the Best Doctors only!...

  There were several flower arrangements and cards, on the oval table by the window, as well as several      colorful 'works of art', decorating the walls...Through the sparkling glass windows, I was able to see the lights of the houses in the Hollywood Hills... For a moment it seemed as if I was staying in one of the five stars hotels,which Al introduced me to, or in a fancy cabin on a cruise ship... I noticed the IV Tubes which were attached to my arms, but remembered very little from the first day... Karen and her (then) boyfriend who spent the night sitting on chairs by my bed side, would later tell me, how happy I was to see them when I finally woke up! They said I was very funny; "Almost as if you were a real Stand up Comedian!"   I was also told, how I tried to convince two doctors, three nurses and some of the Cleaning Crew, to join me in a very Important Spiritual Discussion, regarding the "Up coming Golden Age!" using words like  X"Oneness consciousnesses and unconditional Love!" They also said how during one of the most interesting moments of conversation, I would suddenly fall into a deep sleep.My friend Iris Suggested        "To fill up bottles with Shira's Laughter, sell them in the hospital's Gift Shop and make a Fortune! "     

   On the following day (so I am told) I was 'getting short' with one of the Night Nurses,who asked me    for my date of birth, were was I at the present moment and why was I there... After asking me the same questions for the third time: "Is something wrong with your memory? I have just told you several times, the date of my birthday! What is yours?" X After she answered I told her she was a 'Leo'x  as well as the  "Meaning of her sign!" When another nurse came in to ask how I was feeling, I said I was fine, accept for having difficulties keeping my eyes open..."Do you  have double vision?" She asked “How can I tell if I have double vision when my eyes are close?" Came my answer...  

Dr. "Ali" and
Rabbi "Karebear"

Karen and
Allison at 12

    Alison and Karen, were Best Friend since the fourth grade and were spending a lot of time together! Ali had two siblings, to compete and fight with, and enjoyed the"Peacefulness and Calm at Karen's small family home... Since Al and I, decided to have 'One Child Only', our  home was always open to the young visitors from Karen's school, who were always welcomed by us; more then the parents of several kids!  We loved to have young people around , who enjoyed our attention! Karen accused me once that X"You love Alison more then you love me!"... After Alison graduated from Medical School, she would always come to visit me, at one of the hospitals I stayed; due to the new 'Exotic Illness' I had at the time...Whenever 'Ali' and 'Kare Bear,' were getting together, they seemed to regress to an earlier stage of their lives.  I was always amused by the conversations of the  two "Valley Girls", who grew up to be a Physician and a Rabbi...I  can not remember how long was my stay at the Hospital, to find out if my Tumor was Malignant or not... Eventually Al and  I heard the good news: "The Tumor is Benign!"

   When I finally came back home after my sugary, our dog Moses was barking with joy, running around me...I was told how he was sitting by by my bed, during the better part of my Hospital Stay... During the first two weeks of my recovery, I was waking up around three or four in the morning, to the delight of my Israeli friends and family members... We were able to chat on the phone, 'before I went  to sleep', in L.A and They, just wok up in the morning...  During the time of my long recuperation, Al was taking such good care of me,I told him he is the 'Male Version' of Florence Nightingale; the 'Legendary British Nurse'  during the second World war...X"I was  afraid I am going to loose you!" Al said with tears in his eyes.X"I am going to record you and play it in the future, when you criticize me!"xI said... 

   After we came back home, Al was telling the many people who wanted to see me, that I was not quiet "Ready for Visitors"... My protests did not help; he made sure I was taking my medicine, arguing me to eat and was constantly asking me how I was feeling... I am convinced, that the love and care, my family members    as well as our good friends; helped my recovery more then the 'Bitter Medicine' I had to take... Before  my 'Bon Voyage party', I wrote a goodbye poem for "Tum the tumor" X and shared it with my visitors.x "Don't you Hate this Tumor?" One of my friends asked me... I had to think about it. The truth was that I did not hate Tum, I was actually grateful to this tumor; realizing that because of Tum, I got in touch with old friends, made new ones, had a great party, inspiring people to be more calm and positive during challenging times and learn to overcome fears; by using Hope and Laughter, during difficult and scary moments...This challenging experience encouraged me to write Poetry, once again...Below is a poem, written and dedicated to Tum the Tumor, who is now far away ... 

                                                                     A poem for Tum

                                                             Some of my friends don't like you                                                                                                                      and this is what they said:x"Good by
                                                            Nasty Tumor; get out of Shira's head!
                                                             We Toast to your departure; good by                                                                                                                   Unwanted Brat! Don't even try to                                                                                                                          visit, forget we ever met!

                                                             Although you were not welcome                                                                 I thank you 'Tumor Tom' 
            You came when you were needed    
                                                                       and left when it was time                                                                                                                                    The 'Tumor Humor' blog                                                                                'was born' thanks to you.           xxand this lovely partyXX

    is your doing too!
♥♥♥
Bon Voyage!
♥♥
Adieu!!
♥
Good Buy!

           "It is during our darkest moments, that we must focus to see the light!" Aristotle Onassis said...                                                          

                              

With Love and light,
Shira

Bon Voyage Tum! . VO. XX. O

       BON VOYAGE, TUM!

   Today is an important day: I am about to have surgery, in order to remove 'Tum' the Tumor', which would be transferred to the Lab at Cedars Sinai Hospital, in order to be evaluated by Specialists, to make sure Tum is not 'Malignant'... (God forbid!) I would like to ask you dear readers, to please send 'Positive Wishes for my 'Speedy Recovery'...  I have been asked several times how am I able to stay so calm, before a 'Brain Surgery?' Since most people would be terrified! I don't really know how to answer, but I will try Even as a  young child I was 'Unusually Courageous. Early on I realized that Hope, Joy, love Compassion and Peace; make people happy... While Hatred, Jealousy and Greed; create Wars...We  learned that Love brings Happiness, Joy, Laughter, Compassion and Peace of mind, while Hate creates the opposite...                

   From the moment I was diagnosed with 'Brain Tumor', I began to write a Blog, which I named TUMOR HUMOR, using my sense of humor to describe, how I was able to keep my Fears away! I hope and trust that my experience would provide comfort and hope to those, who may be going through painful health challenges, or other difficult moments in their life...  May we all learn how to be brave, as we are facing fears and other challenges throughout our life's Journey and learn how to overcome any difficulty, by      using our Strength, Courage and Hope... If I am able to face challenges with calm and a sense of humor  So Can You!

   I invited a few close friends and family members, who live in California, as well as a 'Handful' of my       'Clients', those I befriended (in spite of the 'Rules and 'Regulations...) to come for a "Good Bye party for "Tum The Tumor!" When I met with the owner of the "Club/ Restaurant" where the party would take place, he asked me what was the occasion for this party. X"It is a "Good-Bye party for my Brain Tumor before I go for surgery!" I said.  At first the man was speechless, then he began to laugh and was shaking  my hand vigorously. X"I've had many parties in my Restaurant, during the last thirty five years!x "He said laughing, X"But never before have I heard about this kind of a party!"

     The party was for women only (thirty four adults and several children) The guests who seemed at          the beginning to be a bit fearful and scared, warmed up and eventually began to smile and even laugh They were eating, drinking and 'Showering' me with love! The kids were running around, shouting with Joy, exchanging their old toys, which I asked their mothers to bring, in order to keep them busy... My niece Gali and her thirteen years old daughter, Shelly; provided 'Face Painting' for the 'Younger Guests'   as well as for the "Inner Kids", of the few Adults who wished to join them...

   During the three weeks preparations for this 'Event', I was on 'Cloud Nine'! I was later told that the 'Atmosphere' in the restaurant was "Amazing!" My family members, friends and a handful of "Patients"   whom I befriended through out the years ,"Hit it off" in spite of the age differences... There was a total lack of judgment, competition, criticism or any signs of discomfort, women who do not know each other may experience, when they meet for the first time... I could almost 'Feel'  how the energy of 'Pure Love' mixed with 'Deep Concern', enters my heart and creates a protective wall around me... 

  About an hour into the party, a friend came to tell me, that one of the guests was crying... It seems this woman's daughter just phoned her, after her doctor's visit, where she was told that a 'Tumor' was found in her breast... I took (rather 'snapped') the mother's phone: X"Listen my dear" I said to the daughter I have met before.X"If I am not afraid of a Brain Tumor; you should not worry about a small one! Be glad it is in your beast rather then the Brain, like mine!"... "The young woman who was silent for a while, began to laugh....  A short time after her successful surgery, the two of us met again at her Mom's Birthday party she ran towards me and gave me a big hug, saying how the 'Total Lack of Fear", which I displayed about  my Brain Tumor, helped to calm down her fears... 

    Words about the "Unusual party of Positive Energy", began to spread beyond the restaurant's walls...      I was told that X"People are talking about this "Unusual Party!" and found out, that it even traveled to France, after Claudine, my French friend, called her aunt in Paris to say:"Guess what kind of a party I        was invited to yesterday?"  "My husband Al, who was 'Terrified', when he first heard about my Tumor could not believe how Calm I was..."Well Shira, it seems to me that your 'Reputation' as a Strong and Fearless woman, is now spreading to Europe!" He was joking, but I could tell how worried he was... 

   The latest 'Channeled Information' I received, came to instruct us, that before we embark on the 'Trip'    to the 'Fifth Dimension', we would be going through "A few" Unpleasant 'Shake Ups'; like Health issues Financial loses, problems with Spouses, Kids, Family members and even Close Friends...There were also a few Scary Predictions going around, about an up coming 'Global War'; which is about to destroy Planet Earth; our present home...These rumors were followed by 'Positive Message, which told us we  have been going through X"The Storm before the Calm!" (Instead of "The Calm before the Storm") 

 Without realizing, people are building "Emotional Muscles", in preparation for the Challenges we are about to face, on our way from Planet Earth, to the 'Amazing 5th Dimension'... For quite a while I have been receiving information, that we would be going back and forth between 'Two Dimensions', until we are finally able to fully function from our Heart Chakra; or as some call it; "Fountain of Love"!  I hope rather 'Trust' ('Hope' indicates doubt) that Mankind, is able to overcome the challenges we are about to face, before and during this up coming Journey to the Fifth Dimension... It is said. that 'Something Big and Amazing' is waitig beyond the Boundaries of the Third Dimension; our present home. I can't wait!      . 

        

  With love, Shira