A. Puppy Love
I have great memories from Sokolov High... Although I was still friendly with a few of my friends from grade school, I was socializing mainly with my new high school friends. As spring arrived and buds appeared on the trees,"Romances also starting to bloom", among the students in my high school my friend Dina (who taught me to love Classical Music...) was crying over her boyfriend Brosh, who fell in love with Sonia; Dina's best friend...
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| Dina and me |
Hiking with friends |
Standing behind Sonya |
Brosh was the most a popular guy in our school, was adored by girls from all grades...My poor friend Dina, who fell in love with him, was soon Heartbroken...Dina was not the only girl in school who cried over Brosh: I was the only one, who couldn't understand, what they found in him, since I didn't find him"Attractive" at all; I liked him as a 'friend' only...The two of us had lot in common We were bouth "Double Sabras"(parents also born in Israel) We shared a familiar way of life and a similar scene of humor and became very good friends, way before Dina was rejected by him...Even though I enjoyed and liked Brosh mind and 'Fun Personality', I told Dina that if my friendship with him bothered her, she should let me know so I will not be his friend, to which she answered:"I truly appreciate your loyalty Shira, but please don't be ridiculous!X I know the two of you are just friends!"x
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| Brosh |
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| Yoram |
I always enjoyed having 'Male Friends' as much as female friends! Brosh was one of my closest "Male friend", besides Yoram, who was classes ahead of me and was another 'Best Friend'... The two of them were very
different from one another and I enjoyed their company, in spite of (or maybe because of) those differences. One was a 'Rule Beaker'; in charming, crazy way. The other was reliable and grounded, with a dry sense of humor. They bouth owned a 'Vespa' Motorcycle',which we used on our way to see movies: American and French ' "Film Noir, Italian 'Avant-garde', Surrealistic
movies and especially American film like Hitchcock's thrillers and were 'laughing our heads off ', as we watched the 'Heart-wrenching' Indian and Turkish' Melodramas...We also enjoyed going to the Zoo and look at the Monkeys, In Jaffa the 'Arabic section' of Tel Aviv, we sat in one of the Outdoors 'Cafes', slowly sipping Turkish coffee in Tiny decorated porcelain cups... We talked about everything, including the stories we heard from our grandparents, who came as pioneers, to build our beloved country... The amazing thing was, that we were "Just Friends!: (No Romantic Relationship!) We told to each other about the 'Temporary Partners', we were 'going out' at the time and were exchanging advice about the complications of our "Romantic Life" which was changing rather frequently...
Dena and Sonia, were not the only girls, wounded by their first 'love affair'. Another girl from Freshman class, threatened to commit
suicide, when Brosh 'dropped her' after three weeks of Going Steady'... The teachers and principal became involved, demanding that Brosh goes to the girl’s home and "Straightens Things Out!" He was
mortified... "Help me Shira! I don't know what to do! What do they want from me? I don't even Like Her!" He begged me to go see the girl, calm her down and try to talk
her out of 'This Insanity".. Being his 'good friend' I agreed and would never forget this "Experience",which I believe was the day my 'Future Therapist' was born... The instant the small apartment door opened; her 'Hysterical parents' grabbed, literally dragging me to their crying daughter’s
bed... They were talking in a mixture of broken Hebrew,Yiddish, Hungarian and Pantomime, saying again and again: “Lo ledog,
lo ledog!” which is Hebrew for 'Don’t Worry' and was making 'calming gestures' with my hands, gently but firmly, pushing them out of the girl’s
room to the"Salon" (living room) and closed the door behind them... I then turned to the weeping girl (whose mother was wailing on the other side of the door) and gave her a' piece of my mind', for putting her parents through such an ordeal! “What’s the matter with you?!" I admonished her “Are you a 'Cry Baby' or a High School student?!" Then 'ordered' her to get out of bed, (where she spent the past five days) wash her face and took her out of the apartment, leaving her weeping parents behind...
We walked to"Jerusalem Boulevard", where I bought her (and me) Ice cream cones in the small 'Kiosk' and we sat on a bench, licking our ice cream... GentlyI told her that she must grow up! “Snap out of it! You are making yourself and your parents Miserable! Do you want the Kids in school to laugh at you?! "No man is worth dying for!" I declared and made her repeat these words several times, with conviction and loud voice! The poor girl did so and was looking at me with great admiration; After all I was older then her in one year and seemed to be 'more experiencd'... She calmed down and I was finally able to take her back home... I saw her smiling for the forst time and telling her parents something in Hungarian pointing at me. The parents hugged and kissed me, and were'wetting' my face with their tears, hitting my shoulders and back until it hurt!
I came back home where my parents and Brosh, who was sitting biting his nails, were waiting for me..."You owe me a lot!" I yelled at Brosh... My parents and I were laughing Hilariously when he got on his knees, thanking and blessing me, while keeping his hand over his heart..."Don't you dare sending
me on such missions ever again!" I yelled at him, joining my parents laughter... In later years, I would often wonder if this experience, was the reason for choosing to became a Psychologist...
After describing my ordeal, mimicking the parents Hungarian accents and imitating the girl saying out loud X“No man is worth dying for!!!" Brosh and my parents were wiping tears of laughter. "It was Not Funny when it was happening!" I said..."Shira! "You are My Idle now Shira!" X Brosh said, I will always be there for you! I promise to do Anything you want: Take you to the best restaurants in Jaffa, drive with you on my Vespa (motorcycle) to visit your friends and do your Math homework!" This experience with the 'suffering girl', who was so miserably in love with Brosh, in addition to Dina and other girlfriends, who were going through similar Heartache; made me decide and declare that I am not ready or willing, to be a part of these 'Stupid Childish Games!' Not that I didn't want to have a boyfriend! I wanted it very much; with all the Longing of a sixteen years old Teenager, but I didn't meet anyone so far, who appealed to me... After all how could I ever compere any Israely i met so far, to the good looking men I read about, in the Hebrew translations of great love stories and watching the 'Heart Braking' handsome men on the movie screen?
X My home-room teacher Mr Seel, had his pride deeply hurt the previous year, when my mother stood by me, as he showed her my 'forged' signetuers of the school absentees... He must have known she was covering up for me and was frustrated! In order to save his 'wounded pride' he was waiting... I could see him looking for any opportunity, to catch me breaking the rules... I on the other had was always looking for more rules to break, in order to win this "crazy game", which the two of us were playing... We were walking around the small school, like two boxers in the ring, circling and eyeing each other suspiciously... The whole school was aware of this power game and cheered with delight, when I won yet another round...
Mr. Seel, was teaching us History and Geography, twice a week; during second and fifth periods and those of us,who didn’t
do their homework, used the first period of our absent-minded, old Chemistry Teacher, to complete or copy the answers, of our more diligent friends... Mr Seel who suspected that 'Something was going on', surprised us one day, by entering
our class-room ten minutes after our chemistry lesson began and with a knowing smile (looking at my direction) asked for our History homework... The students handed him their notebooks and so did I... However, it was my "Geography Notebook... He left the class, sending me a look of "Let's see what you'll do Now!"I completed my History homework and when the Chemistry class was over, walked to the teacher's lounge, apologized to Mr. Seel for 'Mistakenly' giving him the wrong notebook and handed the"right one"... My teacher stared at the notebook,
nodding his head very slowly, then lifted his eyes and was looking at me with mixed expression of Admiration and Resignation... We
both knew that he had lost again! From that day on we gave up our power games and became good friends...
It was during my high school years, when I discovered my great desire for traveling! However, it was impossible to travel in our small country, before coming face to face with the signs:"Danger! Border Ahead!” borders with Lebanon and
Syria in the North, borders with Egypt in the South and border with Jordan in the East... The only "border" we didn’t have
to worry about, was the Mediterranean Sea... As I grew up, I began to feel "Claustrophobic" as if I was 'closed up' in a small place... I wanted out! I had to take off, be free, able to walk everywhere without running into one of the familiar stop signs: "Stop! Border ahead!
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Even though, I promised myself a "Big Trip Abroad" after my military service, I couldn’t wait much longer to fulfill my "Wander Lust”! So I came up with an a great Idea; to get our class out of Israel on a“Learning Trip!” In order
do so, I met with my “New Friend” Mr. Seel, at the Teachers Lounge and 'presented him' with my plan ..."Since we have just learned about the Greek civilization, it would be great if we travel to Greece and see with our own eyes, the places you have been teaching us!"Mr. Seel removed his glasses and looked at me: “And where would the students
find the money such a trip?” He asked. “As you know Shira, most of the families in Jaffa are European refugees barley make a living!” I had an an answer ready: Since it was 'customary', for some students to work during the hot summer vacation in a Kibutz' (Agricultural Settlement) and be we'll paid, we could do so and use our earnings for the trip! When I saw the doubt in my teacher's eyes, I suggested to talk to the kids about earning extra money, by giving private lessons, baby sitting or any other possible work available after school hours... "We’ll help each other find jobs!" I declared... My teacher looked at me for a while, then banged his fist on the table and said with excitement: “Let’s do it!” Mr. Seel, who was also teaching in another private high school invited
some of those students to join us on this venture and selected students from both schools, to form a committee, which would plan the details of the journey! We were all 'wired up' and found it difficult to concentrate on our lessons...
C - At the Kibutz
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| On a break |
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| Working at the kibutz |
When summer vacation finally arrived we went to work in one of the kibbutzim, in northern Israel. We picked fruits and olives from the trees, worked in the fields, gathering potatoes (a back breaking work) helped milking the cows, feed the chickens, collect egs and enjoyed taking care of the Adorable kibbutz children, who were playing out doors in the hot days of the summer...
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| Milking | 'Water fun' for the babies |
Collecting eggs |
One can only imagine how devastated we all were, after realizing that in spite of our efforts, we did did not have the 'Sum' we needed for our trip to Greece... Mr Seel became our hero when he came up with a solution: Instead of Greece, we could travel to Cyprus, which was a small island, much closer to Israel and had plenty of Greek Archaeology to justify our trip! As a matter of fact, the island was half part Greek and the other part Turkish... Our teacher believed, this trip will be very helpful when we begin our future History Lessons about the Ottoman Empire!
D - Cyprus. X
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| Sailing away | When dreams come true! |
Cyprus |
Since the voyage would take only eight hours by boat, we would not need sleeping cabins and could save money... Mr. Seel and Miss Liron (the 'Homeroom Teacher' of the other high school) found out that we will not be charged at all, since we are students and the trip is only six hour away from Tel Aviv! We were all wearing our white and blue school uniforms when we bordered the ship and were taken on a Tour which including a visit in the Captain's Cabin... Later, we stood on deck, watching the shore of our small country getting farther and farther, until it disappeared... For most of us, this was our first trip out of Israel... We were surrounded by blue water and were looking at the big waves below... This was our first trip away from Israel and I couldn't help thinking it was "My Doing!" and was smiling with a great pride and satisfaction...
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| Visiting the boys in the dorm |
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| Limassol |
Before arriving to Cyprus our two teachers were able to find 'Free of Charge' sleeping accommodations, in school dormitories, which were closed for the summer vacation... We also slept for several nights in a Prison, which was empty since it was going through renovations! A large air conditioned bus, was waiting for us! The driver Stavros became our best friend! We taught him to say in Hebrew "Good Morning" and he was teaching us the equivalent wards in Greek... The boys tried to teach Stavros 'Dirty Words' in Hebrew pretending they were innocent names of food; but were stopped after receiving some 'Blows on the head' from the furious (but laughing) girls, who hit them with whatever was available! I will never forge the first time, my feet touched the ground of Cyprus...Years later, when I was a university student studding in the U.S, I was sitting in front of the T.V, watching the first steps Neil Armstrong was taking on the Moon... and was experiencing a similar sensation, when our feet touched the ground of Cyprus for my first time away from our small, beloved country Israel...
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| Famagusta |
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| A toast with Coca Cola |
We spent unforgettable times in this small Island: "Getting drunk" on Coca Cola, which we tasted for the first time, since the Arab countries ordered the Coca Cola company, to stop selling it in Israel...We were having the time of our life, as we discovered new vistas, different culture, food and music; trying to pronounce the strange names of the cities, rolling them in our mouth and tasting their strange sound: "Limasol Larnaca and Paphos"... .
How amazing it was to be free of the feelings of 'Constant Danger and worries, of being attacked by by one of our Arab Neighboring Countries... The fear of a sudden war, which until this trip, we were not even aware we had; since it became normal and a constant part of our life and reality in Israel... It was strange to realize, that the people in the streets, were not Jewish and were speaking in a language which was not Hebrew... What a 'small world' we lived in until now! We were always singing as the bus was taking us through and around Limasol, until we lost our voices... The local residents, especially the Teenager, were delighted as we were , to get to know each other. We we were invited to their clubs and were laughing, as both sides, were trying to communicate in broken English...We also tried to teach each other songs in Hebrew, Greek and Turkish; laughing hilariously at our pronunciations and were invited to visit several homes of our new
friends... Without realizing, our Consciousness was excpending, in-spite of the fact we were away for three weeks only. We came back to Haifa’s Harbor, much more mature than when we left...
E - First Boyfriend
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| Moti |
A few weeks after returning from Cyprus, my friend Gadi, who graduated from our high school a year before, began his required military service training, to become a Pilot, in the Israeli Air Force, which was a very respected position! On one of his days off, Gadi invited me to a party with a group of his friends who I had never met before... When I came home that night, I woke my mother up and said: “ze-hoo-ze!” (Hebrew for “This is the One!") His name was Moti, his blue eyes were half closed; I asked him if he inherited a 'Chines gene' and often teased him, by singing time and again, a children song about 'Two Chines men with a Big Violin"... Moti was smart, sweet, gentle and older than me by three years...
I finally had my first Boyfriend! Even though High School graduates in Israel, were drafted to the military right after High School, some of the brighter students, were allowed to go on studying at the university and after training in the army, during their summer vacation, become officers and were expected to serve additional
time in the military... Moti, who was one of them, majored in Mathematics (The subject which"Ruined my life"!) We got to know each other's families, spend time in each others home and our parents were delighted to see the budding of our First Love...“Maybe
now, you will finally be able to learn the Multiplication Table!” My father teased me... I am not sure if I was in love with Moti, or just 'In love with love'... Either way, it was my real First Love. We were together for two years and when I turned seventeen, Moti told me that his sister, who was two years older then him, would be getting
married the following year and suggested we have a Double Wedding...
Poor Moti... Instead of the romantic reaction he expected, I burst into a loud laughter! "Are you nuts? Marriage? I am only sixteen! I am not ready for marriage!" I needed to see the world, the places I read about, the 'Eiffel Tower', 'La Rive Gauch' in Paris, the old Coliseum in Rome, the 'Leaning Tower' of Pisa', the Acropolis in Athens, the Wind Mills of Holland, the Fjords of Scandinavia,
the Swiss Alps the Big Ben in London... I planed to go to N.Y after my military service, live in Greenwich Village and write my Masterpiece! See the Empire State Building, Radio City and cross the U.S from coast to coast! I wanted to visit the Grand Canyon, travel to
Texas, in order to see the the oil refineries, which I saw in the movie Giant,visit Indian Reservations in Arizona, listen to Jazz in
New Orleans, gamble in Las Vegas and travel to California to see Hollywood, where all the movies I loved lived!
Maybe the Lion at MGM, is still roaring in one of the studios... Perhaps I will be lucky and get to see some of my movie idles: Robert Taylor, Clark Gable, Stuart Granger or Rock Hudson, walk in the streets in L.A... Maybe I could see their ' Hand and' foot prints', which are embedded in cement in the Hollywood pavements! Getting married?! It sounded to me like Death Sentence'! Poor dear Moti, I am sorry I broke your heart; please forgive me sweet boy, if you are still around, if you were not killed
in one of the wars, together with so many young officers like you...You didn’t deserve the way I treated you... Please try to understand, that I had to be disconnected and free, so I could achieve my dreams! I told myself that your love and devotion, were suffocating me and you wanted to'Imprison me and 'clip my wings', make me give up the exciting future I planed for myself... Even now, so many years later my heart breaks, when I remember the pain in
your half closed blue eyes, when I said my final goodby... I am truly sorry for hurting you the way I did!
The trip to Cyprus, strengthened my resolve that after my military service, I would travel throughout Europe and continue
to the U.S... I had it all planned: After I graduate from the university with a B.A I will travel each
year to another English speaking country around the world, where I study at the local university for one year... This way, I'll eventually be able to get my PhD, while supporting myself as a teacher in the Hebrew schools of local Jewish communities... How amazing is the creative power of the Subconscious mind once it is programed! Eventually, I would accomplish almost all my dreams! I would come to the U.S, receive my B.A, live in 'The Village' in N.Y, publish a book about Manhattan, travel around the U.S and eventually fall in love and marry Al... After our daughter Karen was born, I went back to school, received a Master's degree in Psychology and later on a PhD... I did not accomplish my dream of "Studying each year in another English speaking country" (Canada, South Africa, England Australia, New Zealand) However, I would eventually visit these countries (except for South Africa) with my beloved husband Al... So don't ever give up and Keep on weaving your dreams!"
With Love and Light,
Shira
