The War of Independence . X ( move photo of Ben Gurion and Tank below) X V

1946-1948

Hello everyone   

   After the news, about the up coming Vote in the United Nations, regarding an Independent Jewish state in Palestine, the Arabs, sharing this small country, with their Jewish neighbors; became alarmed, fearing that if the U.N, would grant a Homeland to the Jewish people, they will be forced to lave their homes and properties...The Palestinian Arabs, turned to the Muslim countries Jordan, Egypt, Lebanon, Syria, Iraq  Iran, Saudi Arabia and Yemen, asking for help to" Fight the Jews!", in case the UN members, would vote for such a Partition... The British, were scheduled to leave Palestine, six months after the UN's resolution  The Jews, as well as the local Arabs, were holding their breath...

    My father, who was a child during the First World War, remembered the food shortages, during that period of time... One day he came home from work, carrying two huge sacks, full of "Tsnimim”(Hardtack) These were ' dry slices of bread, which was baked for a long time, were "Hard as a Rock" and wouldn't spoil, as fast as fresh bread X and "wouldn't spoil, for a long time!X" This war, may last for many months!" Aba (Dad) was telling our Ima (mother) "I have a feeling, that if the United Nations, will vote YES, for the Establishment of a Jewish Country; the Arabs will start a war! In this case, Jerusalem will be under siege!" X Ima, would have to soak it in water during the night, so it softens enough, to be be eaten the next day.x.."M Besides the bread, my father bought a tall, Tin Container, full of Kerosene, in order to  boil the water we may have to collect...  He and my mother, stood in line for hours, to buy bottles of olive oil, flour, rice, beans and brown sugar."What do we need all of this?! It would only spoil!" Ima said "I can smell trouble!” My father answered. I was only four years old and was wondering, what 'Trouble' smelled  like, so I began to sniff around, but as hard as I tried, I couldn't smell anything... “Maybe only Daddies can smell Trouble"... I told myself, because it seemed that Ima wasn't able to smell it either...

   On November 17th 1947, people all over the world, were sitting 'glued' to their radios, as the United Nations voted for the partition of Palestine, which would give one part of the country, to the Jews and    the other to the Arabs... Even though, the Partition meant that some of the Jewish Holy Places, would      be in the Arab side, the Jews were elated! ", After all, Abraham was the father of bouth; the Jews and    the Arabs!" The Jewish leaders were saying to their Arab neighbors in Palestinian, those,who's homes were in the Jewish side of the partition. Vehicles, with loud speakers,which were driven by Jews, were traveling among the Arabs, asking them 'Not To Leave Their Old Neighborhoods!' Promising, that none  of the Palestinians would be harmed, or chased away, from their homes if they will stay in the state of Israel and would be treated as equal citizens! The Arab's radio, ordered the Palestinian Arabs to flee, so      they will not be mistaken for Jews and would be killed, when the "Mighty United Arab Army"of Seven Arab Countries, will take over, making and make a 'Clean Sweep' of the small Jewish population, which remains in Palestine and Drown them in the Mediterranean Sea! "What chance these few unarmed Jews have to fight against the 'Great, United Force, of All the Arab Countries?"They promised,that theunited Liberating Forces, would be able to select, the best homes and land, of the Fleeting and Dead Jews and    warned that any Palestinian, who does not join our mighty Arab army, would be killed as a Traitor!   

The War of
Independence begins

Evacuating the wounded
and casualties

   Shortly after the U.N voted for a Partition, to Share Palestine between the Arabs and the Jews... A mob of Arabs, attacked Jewish settlements, stores and other businesses in and around Jerusalem, wounding and killing scores of people...My father and his partner Moty, rented their garage from Mustafa, the Arab owner of the property; he hid them in the basement before the shouting Arab Mob arrived which asked for  "The Two Jewish Mechanics, who were working in this Garage! "They did not come today!"X The Arab owner told the Mob...  My father and Moti stayed until they Mob Dispersed and came back home, late at night... I was very young (four) and was oblivious to the Historical Drama, which was playing around me... In the past, I met  Mustafa and played with his children, whenever I came to visit Aba in the garage. Mustafa was always nice! "He gave me and his kids candy and sent us to play Outdoors!"Some Arabs are bad but others are good;"Mustafa is a Good  Arab"! I was thinking, trying to clear the confusion from my young brain...

 

The Castel in the past

 In Israeli hands

   Since 1000 BCE, after King David concord Jerusalem   The Castel, which was a strong and Massive Fortification    stood on top of a high mountains, which surrounding the city, looked like some kind of a Big threatening Monster! Whoever held this strategic fortress,was able to prevent    the vital supplies of food and drinking water, from  arriving to the  city..By doing so,the Arabs hoped to eventually force  an Eventual Surrender...Throughout history, the inhabitants of Jerusalem gathered rain water, storing it in cisterns... If the rain was not strong enough, during the winter and the supply of water in the cisterns dried up, the people would collect water from the many Springs outside the city...

 

    Right after the United Nations declared Israel as 'Legitimate Country' and Home of the Jewish people  Five Arab countries, got together in a war against the Newborn State of Israel... The Palestinian Arabs who until then lived peacefully, with their Jewish neighbor,  were told that if they do not join the United Arab Army, they would be killed as Traitors!  They also warned to 'starve' the 150,000 Jewish people in Israel: Men, Women, Children and the Elderly... The Arabs were convinced that by withholding Medicine Food and Water, in addition of bombing the city day and night; the Besieged City would eventually have to surrender...  

Water rationing

Sandbags protection

The first move the Arabs made, was to take over the Castle    in order to prevent supplies of food, medicine and arms, from arriving to the besieged city... The small amount of supplies left in Jerusalem was rationed: Each person was given two slices of bread a day, with a measured amount of drinking water...The water was distributed by, donkeys, to the people who were waiting with buckets and cooking pots, to collect each and every precious drop of water...The  women of Jerusalem went to the open fields, to collect a wild vegetable named "Chubeza";so they could feed their hungry families; trying to avoid the shooting which was directed at them! 

 

The chubeza "fruit"

Wild chubeza

   The Air Raid sirens were going on and off as the city was bombarded day and night... My dad was busy in the garage fixing the cars, buses and few motorcycles, for the Jewish soldiers... My mother wouldn't let me or my brother get out of her sight and was taking us with her to collect the small amount of bread, each family recived... My brother and I were always by her side: “I don't want to go on living, if my kids would be hit by a shell and become Orphans, growing up without a mother... If we have to die, we are going to die together!" Ima said...

    After being cooped up inside the small apartment, my nine years old brother Rami, became restless   and rebellious... In spite of Ima's warnings, he would escape and run to join the neighborhood's boys    who were exchanged "Shrapnels" (remains of a bomb)which they collected from the streets. Rami was often spanked by our usually calm and loving mother, who never before raised a hand to hit us, X"You may be killed by a shell?!” I remember her screaming hysterically."I could be killed by a bomb right here in this apartment, not only on the street! I am already 'Dying of Boredom' in this Dungeon!” My brother said... One night when the Air Raid siren went off again, my mother was carrying me in her arms down the stairs, to the "safe" apartment of our neighbors, when a tiny flash of fire, zoomed about three inches from me... I could hear my mother's heart beating wildly, as she screamed with terror and squeezing me   to her chest.  As far as I  can remember, this would be the last time I will experience this kind of fear From that moment on, my family and friends began to be call me "Fearless Shira":I was never afraid!

 

Supply convoy
to Jerusalem

Destroyed armored

 

truck

   As the months passed by, the siege began to take its toll Several people in Jerusalem died from starvation and others from lack of Medicine... The 'Hagana' members tried again and again, to take over the Castel, in order to bring food for the besieged people of Jerusalem; but were pushed back with heavy losses...Convoys of trucks, loaded with medicine and food, tried time and again to get to the Besieged city, driving through a canyon called 'Bab El Wad' and were attacked by  Palestinians villagers, who opened fire from the surrounding mountains. Brave men and women were risking their lives time and again, in order to relieve the suffering of the 'Besieged city', by bringing the necessary Food, Medicine,Water and Ammunition to Jerusalem but they never stoped... 

   I remember the day I came home after playing with my friend Leora, who lived downstairs and saw my cousin Lea's husband Yosi, from Tel Aviv... I was staring in disbelief as he was emptying boxes on top of our table and sofa: Fresh fruit, vegetables, bread, cheese, oil, sugar, tea, coffee, cocoa, sardines, jars of olives, jam and honey and other canned food...Yosi was one of the drivers who risked their lives, driving under heavy fire on a Dirt Road named Bab El Wad, situated between two tall mountains, from were the Arabs were shooting... Beside food,Yosi and the other drivers, risked their lives by bringing  Ammunition to the besieged and hungry city of Jerusalem! There were also packages of food, sent to my parents, Rami and me, given to him by worried and concerned family members in Tel Aviv, Givat -Ada, Benyamina and Ramat- Gan , in adition to a few toys: A big foot ball for Rami and a doll for me!

  

   I was standing near the door, watching with astonishment the 'Mountain of plenty'  which was growing higher and higher and was looking up at Yosi, as if he was a Magician or some kind of a God! “Ima, may I have an apple?” I whispered in my mother's ear... Yosi who heard me, picked up a red apple, wiped it on his shirt and  with tears in his eyes, handed it to me... "My God!" He said to mom:" Who would believe that a day would come, when we see our children go hungry?!.."

 

Bab el Wad Memorial

Throughout the siege, the people of Jerusalem took comfort from our admired Prime Minister David Ben Gurion, whos voice on the  radio was full of Courage, National Pride and Trust of finaly free the besieged people  of our city... David Ben Gurion was able to infuse everyone with Strength, mainly the new immigrants who lost their families in the Gas Chambers, before arriving to Israel, our beloved old Biblical Homeland...

 

   While the war was still raging, an old abandoned ro leading to Jerusalem, was discovered and the 'Hagana fighters' began to widen and clear it, in order to bring more Food, Medicine and Ammunition to the besieged city...  It was named the 'Burma Road'... Soon, trucks and armored buses  were driving at night, connecting the people in Jerusalem, with the rest of the country. eventually, after many mounths of Siege, a short 'Cease Fire' was declared and familie, which were separated for a very long time, were able to Reunite! My father insisted that Ima would take my brother and me, to her family in Rechovot, away from the dangers Jerusalem... 'Aba' (dad) was unable to join us, since he was busy fixing the few old cars, trucks, Jeeps, Buses and Motorcycles, which the Hagana solders used for the war   I will always remember the bumpy ride of the bus, on this unpaved 'Burma Road' and how 'Ima' told us   to 'Bend down!' whenever we were passing close to an Arab village, in case our Camouflaged bus would   be discovered... During the ride, I could tell that Ima was very scare and so were the rest of passengers who mostly consistent of Mothers and Children...

David Ben Gurion X

"Our" tank

Orange grove

   It was in 'Rechovot', I celebrated my fifth birthday, while the 'War of Independence' was raging on Three Fronts of our Newly Born country  Israel was fighting for its life! There was barely enough Ammunition to train the 'New Born' Jewish Army  which consisted of Israeli born men and women and 'new comers', who survived Hitler's concentration camp andbmanaged to reach the shores of 'Palestine', present time Israel... Most of these 'Newcomers' who lost their entire families in the 'Gas Chambers', and upon their arribvel, were given a gun and joined the newly born Israeli army, in order to fight against the combined forces of Seven Arab Countries...

    I have a very few memories from the time we spent in Rechovot... One of them, is playing 'Hid and Go Seek' in an Orange Grove, with my two cousins Yosi and Amnon. We played 'War' in a rusty 'old skeleton' of a Turkish tank from the First World War, which stood in an open field not far from our Grandfather's Locksmith Shop. We were running barefoot on the warm earth, playing "WAR, using the Oranges we picked from the trees. as 'bulets and bonms'... I also recall the day when the three of us were playing at home and the Air Raid Siren went off!  Everyone was running to the shelter in the basement, except for Amnon, my three years old cousin and me...  We were trying to hide inside his parents closet, before our mothers came in running and dragged us to the shelter... As far as I can remember, I was always fearless and was laughing, when others next to me were 'Scared to death'!  I often wondered if my 'Lack of Fear' began after that night in Jerusalem, when my mother was holding me in her arms, rushing down to the shelter, with Romi by her side and a Bullet, which looked like a small peace of fire, past right by me...  Ima was screaming and holding me tighter to her chest....Was it the  Higher Power', or my 'Lack of Fear' which protected me from Trauma, by changing the Fear of a 'four years old child', into Laughter?  Could  it be the reason why later on I would have No Fears at all?  Whatever the reason is; I would rather always be Laughing!

With Love and Light, 
Shira

Childhood Memories . V,O

Hello, everyone,

   Some of the closer friends, who know the story of my life, have told me, how admirable it is that in  spite of the Traumas of the Wars, which took place in Israel, during my early childhood, I can still have  "A great sense of humor and such a positive outlook on life!"... The truth is, that I don't believe my life      in Israel was bad at all... On the contrary; I had a wonderful and magical childhood; filled with adventures laughter and joy! To begin with; I was very loved by my parents and our large extended family. Being the youngest of the cousins, I enjoyed the special attention reserved for the "babies"... I have a few faded memories of myself as a toddler, sitting on the floor, playing with my toys, watching my mom walking back and forth between the two bedrooms of our small apartment, which consisted of a tiny "Salon" (living room) my parents small bedroom, the smaller room, my older brother and I shared and a tini kitchen...  I loved to watch my "Ima"(Mom) making up the beds, dusting, wiping the floor, cooking and from time to time stops to talk to me, stroke my hair or give me a kiss... She was often singing, together with the songs on the radio, songs in Hebrew and others from the movies:“Put the blame on Mame, boy.." and the Spanish song "Bésame, besame mucho!"(Love me, love me a lot!)

   In the middle of the "Salon" (Our living room) stood the polished wooden table, covered with a thick  clear glass...Underneath the glass, was a display of many black and white photographs. My parents, me  and my brother Rami, our extended families and a few of my parents close friends. love to look at them Most of the photos were taken in Israel, the others show a few family members, who live in Europe and    the United States. Most of the people in the photos were wearing strange clothes and hats.Putting family photos, under the table's glass (Rather then Photo Albums) was quite common in many houses, during those days... My mother would cover the gtable, with a plain white Tablecloth for our meals and with a special colorful, hand embroidered table clouth, when guests were coming over...

   I remember my father, sitting for hours at this table (during his free time) surrounded by white paper erasers, pencils, strange rulers and other instruments... He was making scatches of his "Invention", which he called His 'Patent'... Years later I would learn that my dad was trying to invent a device, which could collect the powerful energy of 'Gravity', in order to start a Motor going... This 'dream', kept alive his hopes for a better future for his small family, a dream which unfortunately never materialized, but it gave him hope and kept him afloat, during some dark and hard periods of life...

The photos under the glass...

   In later years my brother Rami and I, who were supposed to do our homework on this table, would get distracted by the photos of Ima and Aba's young faces, as well as those of our grandparents, aunts, uncles cousins and family friends,which were staring at us from beneath the glass... They looked very serious, no one was smiling except for my Mom, the rest seemed to be worried or even a bit scared... My brother and I often made fun of these photos, mimicing their expressions and were laughing at their strange outfits and 'Hairdos', until we would hear Ima's familiar scolding: “ Stop looking at the photos and finish your homework!”

    I have a vivid memory, of one winter evening in our small apartment which was crowded with my parents' friends, who came to play cards... Before the game they would sit around the table, which was covered with a fancy embroidered tablecloth (saved for gusts) eating oranges and tangerines ( in the winter), drinking coffee or tea and enjoying my mom's "Vegetarian cake", which was made out of whole wheat flour nuts and raisens, switened with honey and cinnamon...(no refined sugar in my mother's kitchen...) In the summer, there were watermelon and melon, slices of apples, pears plums berries and grapes (In adition to my mom's famouse cake...)  Most of the men, were smoking cigarettes and everyone was shrieking with laughter, at my father's jokes, written alphabetically in his notebook...

    I can see myself, around the age of three, standing next to the table, or sitting on one of my parents knees, curiously watching what was going on, while sucking my right hand thumb. A very short man named Beny (whom I named "The Little Man") was always teasing me by offering His thumb to suck      on, saying it tastes better then mine... I recall how I once touched one of the gusts bold head and said    that it looks like the Moon and was rewarded by fits of laughter and hand clapping.For a moment I felt  like a grownup,who was just accepted to this private, exclusive, mysterious club of the Adult World and then I began to worry that they were laughing At Me and began to cry...

   Someone would always start singing out loud, while playing the card game and the rest would join in, singing or humming... Others, would drum on the table with their fingers and frown at their cards, or complain that one of the women was too slow, to which she responded; "What's the rush? I am thinking!" "Since when do you think?" her husband  said, triggering muffled laughter, from the players and angry response from his hurt  wife... “Stop it, let's play and have fun!" My Dad, the Peace Maker, would say and the game resumed. When finally, the winner declared victory, standing up and triumphantly slamming his cards on the table, there would be a collective shout of protest: “Oh No! No!! I was just about to finish!" The people would lay down their cards, pointing out how close they were to win the game, looking at each other's cards, discussing what move they should have taken and commiserate over their bad luck, while the beaming winner would collect the bronze pennies,which the players previously left in the small plate at the center of the table and were now, watching the lucky winner, with different expressions of jealousy on their face...

   After a while, it was time to stand up and stretch, light a cigarette and sip the fresh tea Ima would bring from the kitchen, with additional slices of her freshly baked, healthy honey Cake; "Made with whole wheat flour, honey, raisins, nuts and a pinch of cinnamon"... "Wow! This is a great cake! Better than the cakes at Cafe' Kapulski!!" The guests would exclaim, smacking their lips as they tasted the "Healthy Cake" while Ima, blushing prettily, would say: "Well, I don't know if it tastes as good as the cakes at Kapulski Cafe', but I know for sure that it is much healthier!" A conversation would start about different topics, which would always end up with the second world war, taking place in Europe, cursing Hitler in Hebrew and Yidish, Russian, polish, English and even in Arabic... "May this dog Hitler rot in his grave!" "His grave? A grave is too good for this monster! He should be caught and slowly tortured to death! But  it seems that this 'Angle of Death' is unstoppable! Not only is he devouring most of Europe, he is now moving into Egypt!" "Oh my God, he is getting closer and closer to us, the border with Egypt is not that far! All we need now, are Germans marching through the gates of Jerusalem, God forbid!"

   Someone would noticed me standing by with my eyes wide open, frightened and confused by the change of mood in the room and alerted the others... They would then smile and laugh again, stroke my hair, hug me, pinch my cheeks and say: "Don't worry Buba'le (Little doll) We'll take care of you! You are safe here with us! Everything will be alright, God is on Our side, and he will help us destroy this monster Hitler may he burn in hell!!"

   On evenings like these I didn't want to go to sleep, even though my eyes were burning and I was having a hard time keeping them open... Eventually, I was carried to bed by one of my parents, followed by a chorus of calls, “Goodnight sweetheart... sleep well, sweet dreams!" I would lie under my soft blanket and listen to the sounds of laughter and familiar comforting voices and was feeling peaceful and safe... I didn't know, that these ""Big adults'" in my life were terrified, since many of them, did not hear from their families who lived in Europe, for several years... Looking at me, reminded them of their nephews and nieces and wounder if  the kids and their patents were still alive...The conversation around the table turned to the latest information about the war, which was on the radio, published in newspapers and in the theater, before the movie began... bNazi Germany has been devouring one European country after another and was rapidly advancing towards the Middle East... "How long do you think, it will take before they enter Jerusalem?" everyone was wondering ... Across the thin wall, I was snuggling in bed with Duby, my one ear teddy bear, enjoying the comforting and familiar sounds coming from the other room and was peacefully drifting in to sleep...

   On Saturdays we would go to visit Saba, dad's father, in the Old Age Home... I don't know who was older, the building or the people living inside...The stone building was surrounded by old, dusty pine trees and stone fence, on which I liked to climb and walk, holding on to my father's hand... A long corridor was  covered with black and white tiles, led us to the main building, which was decorated with dusty geraniums in old clay pots. Inside was a line of ten, white iron beds, standing side by side on each side of the long room, which smelled of medicine and disinfectant... In one of those beds was lying my beloved "Saba" My grandfather Eliyahu Cohen, Aba's dad!

My beloved Saba

   Saba's hair was white as snow and his soft beard, was fluffy as a cloud. I loved to play with his beard! I would comb it with my little fingers and clumsily tried to tie it with the ribbon which I removed from my hair... Saba's eyes were light blue, the color of the sky on a summer day... They expressed peace and patience, but above all his love to me... The intensity of this love was so strong, that when he looked at me, it felt like a physical caress... My Saba would hum melodies in my ear and tell me stories by drawing little cartoon characters, with a special pencil, which he put in his mouth from time to time, in order to make it wet... Once, when I was about four years old, I said to him; "You know what Saba? Old people and babies are the same"..." He smiled "Tell me how so my 'ziese meydel'e." (Yiddish for 'sweet little girl') "Well, old people are like babies, because they don't have much hair on their head, their skin is very soft and sometimes they sit in a carriage, just like babies and are pushed around... Oh, wait Saba! There is more! Old people and babies have no teeth this is why they must eat porridge..."  I can still feel the joy in my heart, as I listened how my Saba, was proudly telling my parents and his friends in the long room, what I have just said!! It made me feel very important, smart and grown up, especially since I was the youngest in our extended family and therefor was always treated as a baby...

    As we grew older, Rami and I used to play in our street, with the neighborhood kids... Whenever we had an extra coin, we would run to David's small candy shop! Even though we were told by our veterinarian parents, that refined sugar is poison, we couldn't resist!  Whenever we had a few coins, we would rush to the candy store, looking behind us, to make sure we are not being followed by our parents, like some of the 'bad guys" that we saw in the movies... After several times of eating the 'forbidden sweets' and realizing that neither of us dropped dead from "Sugar poisoning", we would sneak into the small shop as often as we could (when we had money)... The store belonged to a nice old man, Mr. Klinman, who stood behind the counter and knew, which candy, each of the neighborhood kids liked...I don't remember my brother Rami's favorite, mine was a pink little candy doll, the size of my thumb,which would melt in my mouth with out even chewing it, melting much too fast...

   The high light of our life was going to the Cinema! (Movie theater) It always began with the news bulletin, (which we couldn't wait for it to come to the end)... Who cared about Churchill or Stalin? Hitler and the war, it was all far away from us, children, who shrieked with joy, when Mickey Mouse or Donald Duck appeared on the screen... We loved the movies! "The thief of Baghdad, National Velvet and Lassie Comes Home..." We particularly liked Gangster movies and imitated them in our games later on; Chasing one another up and down the streets of our neighborhood, waving a piece of wood as a gun and yelling: “Hanzap!” (Hands up). The summers in Jerusalem were hot and dry, filled with the voices of vendors who came to our street with carts, pulled by donkeys... They were offering Watermelons, Sabras (cactus pears) Corn on the cob and cut up Sugar Canes... Others came pushing carts and offered to sharpen knives and scissors and old clothes,shoes and other household goods... The Ice wagon, pulled by a donkey, created     a lot of excitement, among the neighborhood kids...The "Iceman" removed the burlap sacks,which were covering the ice, and cut it for the Ice box (No electric refrigerators in those days...) The kids would fight over the bits of ice, which fell from the wagon, licking them as if they were "Escimos!" (Popsicle's"...

Rami and I
in the Snow

   The winters in Jerusalem were cold, the smell of roasted chestnuts, drifted  from the portable coal stove of the vendors. At home we would huddle around the kerosene stove, play indoor games, eat hot soups and warm porridge with honey and cinnamon... On the few rare occasions when it snowed, we would go outdoors, to make snowmen and throw snow balls at each other... Before we left our home, Ima (Mom) would wrap the two of us  in sweaters, coats, scarves, hats and earmuffs... She also made us wear gloves, wool socks and boots until we could barely move, like the little brother in the movie A Christmas Story, which I would repeatedly watch after moving to the U.S...

On the beach

   Life had its rhythms and rituals: School, holidays, birthday, celebrations and summer vacations! We  visited our families, who lived in the"Shfela"(low land) Tel Aviv, Hulon, Rechovot, Biniamina, Givat-Ada and Ramat-Gan. We loved the beach, where Romi and I chased the waves and joyfully splashed each other, being watched by the strict eyes of our parents... Our Aba (Dad) usually took off, to swim towards the far away rocks and  our worried mom, who didn't know how to swim, was standing on the shore and yelling to us: "Don't go too deep! Stop pushing each other under the water!! Keep your hats on, the sun is boiling hot today! Watch out for whirlpools! and stay close to the shore, so I can see you !"

   This was more or less the way my life was flowing, until the Second World War finally came to an end and shortly after, the War of Independence began...

With Love and Light,
Shira

British Soldiers and Anemones. V,O

Hello everyone,

Chanuka Party

   For our Hanuka party in my nursery school, I was given the honor of lighting the  candles for the first day of Hanuka and was chosen to be the only one to wear a special paper crown, with a 'dradle' on top...  Our teacher Sera, helped me light the first of the eight candles and I felt very special and important! On Saturday, the following morning Ima woke me up with a smile. "Good morning 'Motek shely' (my sweetheart) we are going to Ruty's birthday party today and you will get to wear the new white dress with the pompoms, which I knitted for you, the one you love and call the Cinderella dress!" I jumped out of bed and looked at the sunlight, which was coming in through the shutters of the window and were making lines and shapes, on the tile floor of my room. "XI love birthday parties! I love my new white dress Ima made for me, I love Ima! I love life!"

   There are many kids and parents in Ruty's apartment... Colorful balloons are floating close to the ceiling and a Biiiiiiiiiig birthday cake with four candles, is standing at the center of the round table...All of Ruthi's friends from our kindergarten and their mothers are there, next to her aunts and cousins, crowded in the small room of the apartment. I look around and see that all the girls are wearing pretty clothes, but I know that My Dress, the one I call my "Cinderella Dress", which Ima knitted for me, it is the nicest! dress! I  whisper it in her ear and she agrees with me!

My 'Cinderella
dress'

   There is a photographer standing on the small porch, taking pictures... When I was little, I was afraid of cameras and photographers. I always cried when I saw a man standing behind an open stepladder, with a black box on top of it and covers his head face and even the camera, with a black cloth, before taking the picture... The camera     of the photographer in Ruthy's party, is different; it is very small and he carries it in   his hands... My brother Rami, has his picture taken and I tell Ima that I want to take  one too."Beseder"(ok) she says, "But don't start crying like you always do, when the photographer takes your picture!" My feelings are hurt. "But Ima, I am not a little girl anymore, I am big now! I am already four and a half!" I say and smile at the camera...          

    That night, after coming back home from the party (with a red balloon in my hand) I am going to sleep feeling very happy... I wake up to the sound of yelling and loud banging on the front door! Ima runs to my bed and lifts me out. I can feel how her heart is ticking loud, almost like our grandfather clock...When Aba opens the door, 'Britishsoldiers' come bursting in... They look like those I saw on the bus, when we went to Rechovot. The soldiers are wearing red hats, they are holding long sticks which are called guns, with big knives at the end... They are yelling and screaming wards that I don't understand, they begin to stick the knives into  the mattresses of my parents bed and then into Rami and my mattresses. I can tell that Ima is very scared. Rami is holding on to my father's hand and his eyes are open very wide...

    One of the soldiers, is walking to my bed and picks up my beloved teddy bear. I begin to scream:"I want my Dubi!” Duby is my one-eared bear, which I had since I was a baby. I am terrified that the Britishsoldier is going to stick him with his knife and I scream: "I want my Duby!!!!"  I try in vain to get away from Ima's grip. My arms, are stretched forward towards my bear, held by the Britishsoldier. Aba shoves Rami behind him, his face is white and angry, he walks to the soldier, who is holding my Dubbi  and starts to yell at him in English. Aba knows how to speak English, because he is fixing the cars of all the Britishsoldiers in his Garage...  Ima puts a hand on Aba's arm to stop him, but he shakes it off! "You call yourselves Civilized People?!" He is saying in a choked voice."How dare you barge in to our home in the middle of the night and scare women and children, with your screams and Bayonets?!  Where is your common sense?! Can't you tell we are not terrorists?! Where are your famous British manners,You should be ashamed of yourselves! Give the child her toy right now!” The soldier's face turns very red, he hands me my bear; I grab it from him and hold it tight against my heart...

    Now, the soldiers are nice and talk quietly. One of them puts his hand on Aba's shoulder and smiles at him when they talk... Ima invites them to sit at the table in the living room. She spreads on it the tablecloth which is for 'guests only'  and brings tea and a plate of the sliced healthy cake she baked yesterday...“I no speak English good, men of England love trink tea, yes?” She says smiling her sweet smile. "Sorry no  have milk for tea, we vegetarian, milk for baby cow, not people..." Everyone is laughing now. The soldiers sip the tea and praise the delicious cake, while Aba is giving them a lesson about vegetarianism..."Yes, yes," They say, "Vegetarian, just like Gandhi in India!" Finally the British soldiers get up and walk to the door, they stand straight, put their hand on their red hats and leave... One of them gives me and Rami candy, wrapped in a colorful shiny paper -- A real candy! Ima and Aba allow us to put it in our mouths, even though it is not vegetarian candy; "Because the children just went through a big trauma and we should make an exception!" They say.

    All is quiet again and I am back in my bed, covered with the soft, fluffy white blanket and holding Duby close to my heart... “Britishsoldiers are only a little bad, Duby." I whisper in my bear's ear. "Britishsoldier gave me and Rami Real candy, they are also a little good!"

   As I slowly drift into sleep, I imagine that the field near King David's tomb, is covered with the British solders, wearing their red hats... Next to them is a field, covered with the red flowers 'Kalaniot'... These flowers have a small  black circle in the middle and red leaves around it... Suddenly a light wind begins to move the flowers from side to side, back and forth, back and forth, until my eyes close and I fall asleep...

   I highly recommend the two 'Award Winning' movies; Exodus and Oh Jerusalem, which were based   on  international bestselling books and describe the events, which took place, during these historical times, before and during the Second World War, when we lived in Jerusalem...

With Love and Light
Shira

A short history lesson and my first experience of Terror V,O

Hello everyone,         

   After the Second World War came to an end, the pressure from the Arab nations mounted, demanding to prohibit the entry of Jewish European refugees,who were able to escaped Hitler's concentration camps and arrived to Palestine (future Israel)... The British rulers sided with the Arabs, who demanded to prevent  the Jewish refugees, who escaped the Nazi's horrors, from entering their Biblical 'Homeland' in their old and  dilapidated boats... However, the British rulers would not allow these refuges, who lost their homes and families in Hitler's concentration camps, to enter Palestine and insisted on sending them back to Europe for their certain death... The Hagana and Irgun organizations, of the Jewish settlers in Palestine, defied the British, by helping these tormented refugees enter  Israel illegally, hiding them in the homes of the old time settlers, in the cities and in the Agricultural Settlements in Israel...

   The Hagana, which was the main Jewish organization in Palestine (future Israel) believed in peaceful resistance... On the other hand, the Irgun, a more extreme group, demanded that the British would allow those pathetic Jewish survivors, who just lost their homes, possessions and families by the hands of the Nazis, to settle in Israel, the land of their forefathers, but the British government refused to do so...  If and when the British discovered a few boats with Jewish survivors, making their way to Palestine, they attempted to force them back, to the open sea and their certain death... The Irgun, which was an extreme Jewish resistance group, retaliated... Several British soldiers were killed and the British army found and hung some of the Irgun members... The Jewish organizations, reacted by bombing  at the British command post, situated in the King David Hotel in Jerusalem...  Israel's War of Independence began!

Jerusalem, 1946

Mommy and me

"David"

  "About a month ago I celebrated my third birthday... My nursery school friends and those who live in our neighborhood, came to our apartment and brought me many gifts! Yesterday I was sitting with Ima (mom) on our little balcony, because she always says that the "Sun" is good for us, because it has vitamin D!" She was sitting on a chair fixing my torn dress and I set on the white and black tiles floor, holding my doll 'David ' and was changing it's wet diaper... "David" is a 'Hot water bottle' my parents use during the cold nights of the winter, or if any one in our small family, has a Tommy Ace...  David is my favorite "doll"! Ima is giving me a ball with green peas to munch on. “Eat Shirale!” She says “Green vegetables are healthy!"  My David is made out of red robber and after Ima puts inside him hot water, he becomes warm and squeezable, just like a real baby!  I love to hold David and sing to him lullaby's... Years later, when            I asked my mother, if life was so bad, that people weren't able to buy real dolls for their kids, she said laughing: " Do you know how many dolls you had?! The only one you wanted was your David!" 

   Our family of four lives on the second floor of two story apartment building, which was build out of "Jerusalem Stone... People can find this stone in the desert, outside Jerusalem. Most of the buildings in  the city, are made out of this white stone... l love our home! every time we come back from visiting friends and relatives, I touch and stroke the stones of our building... I even kissed it once, but my brother said that I am stupid... My extended family lives far away from us, in Ramat Gan, Givat Ada, Benyamina, Rechovot and Tel Aviv.  My parents laugh, when they see me stroking and kissing the walls of our home, but Romy, my older brother, says that I am stupid...   Our neighbors Shula and Avi, live on the second floor, just next door to us. For a long time Shula had a very big belly, until one day, she went to the hospital and came back with two babies: Twins!! I was unable to move away from their crib... The twines had tiny heads and little faces, which got got red, whenever they cried... Their names are David and Solomon; like our two kings in the Bible... When they begin to cry, their mother Lea says: “Why do you cry my little ones, kings never cry!”

   One day, I heard horrible screams coming from the Twin's Apartment... I ran in and saw Lea lying on the floor screaming, kicking and scratching her bleeding face... All the neighbors were there, trying to help, but she was pushing everyone away, banging her fists on her head and shouting:“I want my David   I want my baby!” Ima took me to our apartment and explained in a quiet voice, that baby David was very sick and after he died he went to God, who lives in Heaven... I once saw a dead bird laying in the street... The bird's little legs looked like two twigs, pointing at the sky. It was not moving and Ima told me it was dead...x“Is Solomon also going to die?”x I asked terrified... Ima hugged me, saying that Baby  Solomon, is a healthy, strong baby and he will be fine!X“Am I healthy Ima?"... I asked, my heart beating fast in my chest, facing for the first time the"Fear of Death"... Ima put me on her lap and said that to my brother and me that we are very healthy, because we grew up in a home of "Veterinarian  parents", so I have nothing to worry about!. "X But I once ate a cookie, Lea gave me and I didn't tell you, because you always say that white sugar is pure poison!"I began to cry... Ima hugged me and said that only one cookie, or one candy from time to time, will not kill anyone... She was holding me until I stopped crying and I fell asleep in her arms... But all of this happened a very long time ago...This time, I was sitting on the floor, at Ima's feet and was giving David his battle...

   All of a sudden, a terrible noise seems to shake our house! A big explosion, like Million Thunders, was shaking our building and Broken glass was covering the tiles of our small balcony... Ima grabs me and runs downstairs, where the neighbors were standing together in the the small garden. Everyone was listening to the news on the radio..."The Irgun is taking responsibility for bombing the British High Command, in King David Hotel! There are many casualties! The British police declared curfew for the next 48 hours and will be searching for Terrorists inside homes and apartments all over Jerusalem!"...

Explosion of the
King David Hotel

After the explosion

   Paralyzed by fear, I am trying to talk, but no sound comes out of my mouth... Ima starts to shake me:“Speak Shira'le! Speak to me!!! Oh God help me, she can't talk! She  lost her voice!" The  Neighbors turn away from the radio and gather around us“Give her water, No! give her sugar! Slap her on the back! Take her to the hospital!" Ima is holding me in her arms and runs upstairs to our small apartment, were most of the windows are broken... She sits on the sofa and puts me in between her knees, looking deep  into my eyes.“Don't be afraid Shira'le, there was an explosion near by, it made a Big Noise, but no one was hurt, we are alright! Everything is fine now!” Avi, whos sister is a nurse in Hadasa Hospital, looks at me and says:“She is in shock!" “Oh my God!" Ima starts crying "What should I do? what is there to do for shock?!"  This is all I remember from that event...  In later years my parents would tell me, that I lost my voice for a whole day... They took me to the hospital and allowed the doctor to give me a shot, even though 'Medicine and Shots' were against their believes, since Veterinarians object to any kind of medicines, which are "Pure poison" and leave Toxins in the body..." This time, my parents were so terrified that I may never gain my speech back, they had no choice, but put their trust in a Meat-Eater Medical Doctor, who gave me a shot which made me talk again...  In the years to come, whenever I got sick and the vegetarian remedies did not help, my parents would blamed whatever I suffered from, on that "Poisonous Injection!"...

With Love and Light,
Shir

My First Bus Ride V,O

Jerusalem, 1945

Hello everyone,

   "My Ima (mom) is sad... Sometimes she is crying, because her Ima is very sick...  Ima tells me that we are going on a Big Bus to visit her Ima in Rechovot... I am about two and a half years old now... I don't understand how could my big Ima, also have an Ima... I am very happy, because we are going ,on a Big Bus! I was never inside a big bus before, so am very excited when I finally sit next to the window with Ima by my side... Through the window, I can see mountains and hills passing by...  Ima is pointing at a big building, which looks like a Palace; "Here is King David hotel"! She says... I can see a few sheep and cows and two kids sitting on donkey! Ima brought sandwiches of sprouted grain bread, with a slice of avocado in between. She also gave me "Vegetarian candies": Two dates, stuffed with shredded coconuts...

With my Ima

"Big bus!"

   All of a sudden the bus stops and two solders get on...They speak  very loud and some time they scream... I don't understand what they say...  Ima tells me that they speak English. The people in the bus look scared and I begin to cry... Ima calms me down, she says that these people are British soldiers, who are looking for "Hidden Ammunition and there is nothing to worry about...

One of the soldiers, brings down a suitcase, from shelves above our seats and begins to look inside... The other, tells some people to stand up and empty their pockets... The British soldiers, move their hands, up and down the people bodies... They finally get off  and bus begins to move again... The people are happy, but they are also angry at the same time... "I don't like British soldiers, I am scared of them..." I tell Ima.  She hugs me and says that these solders are very nice and they are just doing their job... The bus begins to move again and Ima points at a big building and tells me it belongs to King David... I am very tired and eventually fall asleep on her lap, with her arms around me... I wake up when the bus arrives to the Central Bus Station in tel Aviv... We wait for a long time for the bus to Rechovot,where my my Ima's parents live... This time the bus is much smaller, then the big bus from Jerusalem... The road to Rechovot is 'sandwiched' between two Orange Groves... Ima opens the window and tells me to smell the flowers of the orange trees... "Isn't it a wonderful smell?!" She says.       

King David's Tomb

Orange Blossoms

     In my aunt Yudit's farm the color is dark brown. The color of the streets and side walks in Jerusalem is grey, the building are made out of white stone; "Jerusalem stone"... Only in the field, near King David's Tomb, the ground has green grass in the winter, which turns yellow,in the summer time. Sometime. There are wild red flowers growing in the fields. "Look Ima!"  I cry with excitement, pointing at the few small houses, which begin to replace the orange groves... "Are we in Rechovot already?!" "Yes, we are!" Ima says with excitement; "Soon we are going to be at Saba and Savta's house..."Saba and Savta are my Grand Parents! I saw them before, but I don't remember...

    A very tall and thin man, with black hair, opens the door... Ima hugs him and talks to him in"Yiddish" which I don't understand... She tells me that this tall man, who tries to hug me, is her"Aba" an he is also my "Saba"... But this strange man, with the black hair, is NOT my Saba! My real Saba, lives in Jerusalem,  he is my father's dad and has white hair and beard, like the color of clouds... The eyes of my 'real Saba' in Jerusalem, are blue like the sky... This tall stranger, who tries to kiss me, has black hair, he is not my Saba! I begin to cry, hiding my face in Ima's blue dress, with the small yellow flowers... After putting down the suitcase, we go to another room, to see my Savta, who is Ima's Ima... An old woman with white hair, is lying in bed and her head is on top of two big white pillows. I notice that this bed has white metal rods... "Why does my old Savta sleeps in a crib, if she is not a baby?" XI ask my Ima and she whispers to me that she will tell me later...

 I don't like the smell in the room; it smells like the 'Yod' (Iodine) which Ima once put on my bleeding knee, after I fell... The old woman (my Savta) is wearing round glasses, she is looking at Ima and me and begins to cry... My mother kisses her and asks me to kiss her too, but I turn my face away and hide behind Ima's back... When I finally peek at the old woman's direction, I can see on the small table, next to her bed, a glass full of water and White Teeth inside... When this old woman tries to smile at me, I notice she has no teeth... X" How could she put her teeth in the glass?" X I wounder, trying to pull out my own teeth...  My Savta makes a funny face and begins to cry, I feel scared, so I also begin to cry...

   The next thing I remember, is Ima and me entering a small garden and start to walk on a long path, with pretty roses on bouth sides...The path stops in front of to a tall, green wooden door. Ima tells me that this is the doctor's house and we are going to ask him to come and help Savta feel better... The doctor, who is wearing a white coat, strokes my hair and asks me if I want a candy. I look up at Ima for permission and she nods her head, to say yes... I can't believe it;" A real candy! not that vegetarian things I get at home! The doctor takes off his white coat, picks up a black bag and the three of us, begin to walk together to Savta's house. My mother and the doctor speak in law voices and they are not smiling... 

   I know they talk about my Savta, because Ima is sad and begins to cry again, like she did at our home in Jerusalem, before we came to my Savta in Rechovot...  I want to look inside the doctor's black bag, to see if there is a Band-Aid there, so he can make Savta's feel better, but Ima says:"No!" 

With love and Light,
Shira

Psycho Archeology. V, O

Hello, Everyone

 

    Years after being diagnosed with Brain Tumor (which lead me to start writing this blog) I was often asked by my readers, how could I be so Fearless... People couldn't believe, that anyone, who just found  out about her Brain Tumor, is able to be joking and asking for help in Naming it.. ("Tum") and  how just   a week before the surgery, is hosting a big "Goodbye party" for the tumor... (Bon Voyage Tum).

   Looking back, it seems that I have always been this way (Fearless). Even as a child, I was climbing the tallest trees, jumping from the highest places and (almost) always landing on my feet! I used to convince my friends, to go with me into spooky and scary places and had the 'guts', to argue with our teachers, even those who were very strict... At twenty one, after my military service, I traveled by myself in Italy, France Germany and Switzerland, continuing to the US and worked as a teacher in Jewish schools, in order to pay for my collage and rent... I traveled by bus, all over this gigantic continent (no money for airplanes...) and visited remote Indian Reservations, National Parks and places I have read about, or saw in the movies... I could never understand, why people were so astonished by my "Courage"...  It was simple; I would think about whatever I wished to do, plan it, save money, buy a ticket and go for it... (usually by bus...)  I was always amazed, as well as amused, to see how fearful kids (and adults) were,when they found themselves in cretin scary situations, which never frightened me at all....

  A year or so, after my husband Al and I moved to California, with our three years old daughter Karen, I heard about 'Consciousness Expanding seminar' named EST. Always looking for new ways to 'Broaden my horizons', I signed up... It was one of the most important and Life changing experience I have ever  had...There were about a hundred people, sitting in a large windowless lecture hall, when at one point, we were asked to close our eyes and get in touch with our worst fears... All around me, people were crying screaming and shuffling their feet (as if they wanted to escape)Yet, as hard as I tried to experience Fear, I could not stop laughing... In spite of the"order" to keep our eyes closed, I kept mine half open and was looking at the people around me... I noticed with amazement  their faces, which were twisted in various expressions of Terror...X"I can't believe how terrified they are!"  I told myself and for some reason it made me laugh... Later, as the participants were sharing their Fear, I  had nothing to say; besides the fact that I was Unable to get in touch with fears, since I was rarely afraid! 

  Later, people came to tell me how envious they were, but instead of enjoying their complements, I felt uncomfortable... Fear, I realized, is one of the Primary Human Emotions, which are meant to protect us! Being unable to experience it, made me feel as if I was missing, a very important human emotion...This realization, gave birth to a new and strange feeling of being Different; I felt 'Isolated' and lonely, as if something was 'wrong with me', (though I have always enjoyed my Freedom from Fear). Since my family friends and even stranger, were always expressing their Astonishment, I decided to try and find out, what  was it all about... Realizing that all children have fears, I searched my memory for any 'Old Fears' I must have experienced in my childhood, asking my subconscious mind, to release any hidden memories of fear and was finaly able to uncover two such occasions... The first, when I was two and a half years old and the second when I turned four...

Jerusalem, Israel 1945

Ima and me

  I am about two years old, sitting in my stroller, which 'Ima' (my mom) is pushing down Jaffa Street; the rode which connects Jerusalem to Jaffa... I am leaning back in my sit looking with fascination at the coffee shops, where people are sitting next to small tables; drinking, eating, smoking and talking... Some of them were reading Newspapers and listening to the music from the radio... The ladies' lips were very red, a few were wearing hats with colorful feathers on top. The men's hats looked like an Upside Down 'Flower Pots', the same as those we have on our porch.A man  was standing near a building, playing music on a very 'Small Piano' he was holding in his hands... I point at the small piano, looking at Ima questioningly... She tells me that it is called an Accordion and puts a few coins, in the little cup on the sidewalk, next to the man's shoe... From my low vantage point in the stroller, I am able to see many legs and all kinds of shoes, passing me by...The ladies have a 'long black line', on the back of their legs and their high heels shoes, make nice clicking sounds!

   In the store windows, I see dolls as big as people, wearing dresses and hats... Other shops have Pots and Pans, like those we have in our kitchen... When I see a store with toys, I begin to squirm in my stroller trying to get out and touch them, or at least look at them closer, but Ima refuses to let me out... I begin to cry and kick my legs, I feel like a prisoner, though I don't know yet the words to describe my frustration! In order to quiet me down, Ima stops at a small 'kiosk' and buys me and my brother an ice cream cone...

  Only once before, did I taste this 'cold sweat wonder'...when my mother bought an ice cream cone for      my brother Rami, who is five years older then me. Seeing Rami licking his ice cream, with relish, and I demand to have one too! Ima lets me taste his ice cream, then hands it back to him.. When I ask for more  she whispered something in Rami ear and he disappeared behind her back. Ima turns to me and says:“No more more ice cream, all gone!" I keep on turning around in my seat, looking for my brother who is popping up from behind Ima's  back; shows me the cone, takes a lick with a sigh of great pleasure, sticks his tongue at me and hides again... I thought he was playing 'Peek-a-Boo' game with me, so I was laughing each time he showed up, but when I see him licking the ice cream, with great pleasure and remember how Ima said “All gone!” I became very confused and started to cry.. Ima, who turned around and saw what Rami was doing, took the ice cream cone from him and put it in a nearby trash can. Rami started to wail and it makes me cry even louder...

   In later years, whenever  I was thinking of this incident, I would wonder what were the Immature Emotions, which were beginning to form in my 'Newly developed mind'...Was it a budding understanding of 'Lies and feelings of Betrayal, Hurt and Rejection', when my brother kept taunting me with the cone? Could it also be the Joy of revenge, when Ima took away the cone from him and threw it away? Or maybe feelings of guilt, mixed with compassion and love, for my older brother who was crying... However, this time I was alone with Ima, holding my very own cone; licking the ice cream and sinking into a cloud of Pink and White sweet pleasure... From time to time, Ima would take the cone away and lick the streams of ' Melting ice cream'...."No! Mine! Mine!" I protest loudly. Ima explains to me that she is licking the cone, so I will not dirty my pretty new dress. She gives it back to and I resume the 'delicious pleasure' of losing myself in this 'Sugary dream'... From time to time I look at Ima with suspicion, whenever she slows down and bends to wipe my face. I try to hide the cone from her saying "No! Mine!" It makes Ima laugh...I love the sound of her laughter and I also begin laughing...  

   Our vegetarian parents did not usually allow us to have ice cream, however since "Children want to     be like other kids..." they allowed us to have it "Once in a while!"  Years later, when I was about eight    or nine, I would have a Fantasy that someone invents an ice cream, which will 'Never Come to an End'   Let's go back to the story about my Younger Self... I am sitting in my stroller, going down Jaffa street enjoying my ice cream, when all of a sudden I hear a blood-curdling scream! My mother, who didn't      see the beggar woman, sitting on the sidewalk, bumped into the woman's outstretched legs with my stroller...  I find myself staring into the eyes of a horrible screaming Monster... Dark hair filthy gray       hair covers a part of her face, the toothless mouth seems like a dark cave and her screaming hurt  my         ears... My little body begins to shake with fear, but I can not take my eyes away from her... A terrible smell is coming from this woman and I am shaking with fear! I want to scream, but nothing comes        out of my mouth... People begin to gather around us; some are annoyed at Ima, for not being more   careful and hurting this poor woman!  Ima is pouring coins from her little red wallet, into the beggar's lap...  I finally begin to get out of my frozen state and hand my ice cream cone to the Monster...Could       it be an instinctive gesture, of some ancient Sacrificial Ceremony, popping up from the depth of my DNA? An old memory which reminds me, to give my most Treasured Possession to the 'Gods',in order     to stay alive?  "The Monster" garbs the Ice cream con and shoving it in to her mouth... I am frozen by 'Primal Fear', so different from the great pleasure, I was having, just a few moments ago! The memory stops there... 

With Love and Light,
Shira