Hello everyone,
I usually try to incorporate some 'New Age news' in my blog... However, although there is a lot to share, about the amazing changes which take place, as we move towards the 5D;"The Fifth Dimension" I feel that my previous post did not quiet come to an end... So I'll skip the news and go back to 1969 when I lived in Greenwich Village for awhile, before moving to the Upper West Side of Manhattan.
In the post New York, New York, It's a Wonderful Town I described, how my suppressed pain over Paul's Marriage, burst out like an" Emotional Flood", after receiving a letter from my friend Tsipi, about Paul's visit and her understanding, that he was very unhappy... I wrote in that post how I was taken back to painful and dark moments, after I heard about his marriage and painful feelings of lose, betrayal and extreme Loneliness...The pain got worst when I forced myself to go out on dates...The moment my 'Date' tried to hold my hand, put his arm around me or give me an innocent 'Good Night Kiss' I would cringe my head would pound with severe 'Migraine Headache, I would be Nauseated and couldn't wait to come back to my apartment and throw up... After several times of such reactions I realized that I was in trouble and needed help... (The ward 'Bulimia' was not known yet...)
I finally found a Psychiatrist, who was willing to give me a 'Student Discount' and start Therapy for the first time in my life... The young doctor, gave me a choice of sitting on the chair, across from his table, or recline on a comfortable sofa by the wall: I chose the sofa... He was holding a notebook and spoke very little, encouraging me to explore and express myself, when I had difficulties arriving to my own Conclusions...He didn't have to do much; my "Aha Moments" kept on coming one after the other with great speed... I often heard a note of admiration in the doctor's voice, like the time I talked about my idea of using the Power of the Mind, to create some kind of "Alchemy", which turns the Negative thoughts and emotions, in to Positive; the way we do with the power of Electricity: Creating Heat in the winter or the other way around: Cold in the summer the time...
As my therapy progressed, this young doctor, tried to help me understand, what was going on with me... I was shocked to learn that the Uncontrollable urge of Eating and Purging, was not uncommon I am not sure if during those days, it was already called Bulimia, but the mere fact, my doctor said I was not the "Only one on this planet", who suffers from such strange behavior, was a great relief! Therapy helped me realize that as long as I was blaming Paul for our breakup, I was making myself a Victim! By nature, victims are weak, fearful, dependent and helpless. Feeling Helpless is what Bulimia is all about; as if it was an attempt to Purge the emotional pain...
Being helpless, was the last thing I expected to be, since I defined myself as a very powerful person, who always accomplished most of my goals! Even though I began to assume responsibly for My part in the Breakup with Paul, before starting therapy, analyzing it with a Psychiatrist, was very liberating by enabling me free myself, from the Helplessness of being a Victim...The therapy was helping me realize, that I was finally allowing myself to "Morn" my lost relationship with Paul and understand that instead of being afraid of the"Attacks" (as I called the Bulimic episodes) I should embrace them, since they were helping me release Toxic Emotions of pain and helplessness... This way of thinking: the 'Importance of embracing the "Bad", by giving it a "Good meaning", would become my personal 'Life's Philosophy' and the Corner Stone of my future work as a Psychologist...
The "Aha" moments, kept on coming even outside the Psychiatrist's office...After getting to know most of the 'Village', I would walk through other parts of the city, feeling Free and Liberated! Just as it was on the Queen Anna Maria, I must have been 'Radiating' the same kind of Energy' which attracted people to me... (Love Potion). I was approached by strangers (both men and women) in museums, book stores, galleries, coffee shops and even on the subway... People started conversations with me and seemed reluctant to say goodbye... Even my Neighbors in the Village, who didn't notice me before; were suddenly behaving as if I was an old friend...
There was one more person who was attracted to this New Light' I seemed to radiated...As the therapy progressed, my Psychiatrist was slowly inching his chair, closer and closer to the side of the sofa, on which I was lying and started to stroke my arm... I was very naive in those days, believing he was trying to comfort me... At one point I began to feel confused and uncomfortable, I stopped talking and stared at him for several moments, wondering if I was imagining things..."Is the way I touch your arm makes you feel good?" The doctor asked... I was stunned and confused, searching for the proper answer..."Is this what they call Touch Therapy?" I finally asked, remembering hearing something about it before... The doctor did not answer, he kept on stroking me and then said: "Do you like me?" I hesitated, confused and unsure of what my response should be and finaly said: " Until now I believed you are an excellent Psychiatrist! I was in a bad place, when I first came here and you helped me a lot! I no longer vomit and the pain over Paul seems to be getting much lighter, and would like to thanks to you!" XI told him x. "I am glad I was able to help, but what I really want to know, is if you like me as a Man?" The doctor said and moved his hand to stroke my hair; "Accidentally'' touching my breast... My confusion turned into alarm:"What is going on?" I was asking myself, "Am I Imagining things? Did he really touch my breast, or was it an accident? How about those strokes of my arm and hair? Did I just imagine it? Was it my fault? Did I give him the wrong idea? Am I so stupid and naive not to recognize, what was going on just now? No! I am not stupid nor am I naive! This man is disgusting! How dare he break his Doctor-Patient confidentiality?!"
For a few moments I was speechless, then recovering quickly, moved his hand away, stood up and looked down at him... "You asked me if I like you as a man" I said calmly, "To be honest, you are not at all my type... I prefer tall and well built men, with a nice head of hair! I particularly dislike Skinny Short and Balding men like you! Your arms, hands and even your upper fingers, are covered with black hair and I am sure it is the same, with the rest of your body; Just like a monkey! So the answer to your question NO! I don't like you as a man! As a matter of fact I find you Repulsive! I am realizing that you are not fit to be a Psychiatrist !I should report your behavior, but you are not worthy of wasting my time!" I picked up my bag and left the room, closing the office door behind me for the last time!
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#MeToo movement (female sexual abuse) Started in 2006, popularized in 2017 |
With Love and Light,
Shira
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