Almost the end V, XX OO

Hello everyone,

     I was encouraged by my blog Readers, Friends and a few of my 'Clients' (Patients) to turn this  blog      in to a book..."You had very interesting life, Shira!"X They would say"x You should write a book about  it!"  To which I would respond:"What do you mean 'had', I still Do!"XI feel fortunate and grateful to be   in (relatively) good health, unlike others in my age group...(Eighty three soon) I recently noticed that    my 'Sens of Humor' (which was always 'sharp') is beginning to slow down a bit, especially during the unpleasant moments of 'Memory Loss... I was encouraged by my doctor, family members and close friends; to be tested for the possibility of Dementia or Alzheimer... Unlike most people my age group (Eighty three next June 3rd) my memory is still very strong (Most of the time) I was advised by my primary doctor, to make an appointment at Seder Sinai Hospital, for a Five Hours Test of "Memory      lose"; a test which would last for five hours without a break...By the time this 'Ordeal' was over, I was Exhausted... I could see concerned look of my family members and friends, as I was sharing with them  the latest information... By now dear readers, you may realize,Xthat the word 'Fear'' was very seldom a part of my Vocabulary!" X When they asked, why did it take me so long, to share with them my latest diagnosis, I joked that the reason I did not complain about my memory lose,was that I did not remember    I was loosing it..."X

   Several weeks later, Dr R. left a message, asking for Rabbi Karen Deitsch (my daughter) to call        him, in order to discuss my Test Results..'Why does he want to talk to my daughter and not to me?'            I was wondering... Karen, who called after their conversation, sounded very calm (a bit too calm)     "What  did the doctor tell you, Karen? Is it Dementia, Alzheimer or half and half?" I was jokingX               But Karen did not laugh; insisting there is no final diagnosis, before I see one more doctor (another Specialist) in order to come to the final conclusion... A month later, I had one more Test, which this     time lasted One hour only (Thank God!) I have written before about 'Cousin Marcia' (Actualy Al's cousin) who was with me, when I received the results of my Medical Tests.You sound more Nervous    then I am, Marcia! It seems you forget whom you areX dealing with and about the big health challenges     I faced many times before and came through, with "Flying Colors!"X

   I have written before about my parents, who were among the 'First Pioneers', who established a new Vegetarian Village in Israel, intending to grow vegetables with out the 'Toxic chemicals in fertilizers' which 'Poison' our fruit and vegetables:"People should Never Eat Meat!  Just think Xabout the terrible pain these poor animals experience! We have no right to make them suffer, they want to live just like      we do!"XI could understand why we kill Snakes and other dangerous animals, which may attack us       but the poor cows, lambs, chickens and cute rabbits, never harmed anyone! How terribly cruel it is         to  cause them pain and sufedring and worst of all: "Eat Them!" Some of my school friends parents    came to our house to complain that because of me, their children are refusing to "Eat meat" This gave    my parents the aportinity, to try convert the to Vegiterianizm...  

   My parents were practicing 'Meditation', which they learned from books, way before it became    popular in the Western World... There was a large library in our house: "Health and proper Eating      Avoid Toxic food, Say No to the Western Medicine, You Are what you Eat" and others... Eventually          I would 'Inherit' some of these books, since my "Meat loving" brother Rami, who rebelled against our parents "Crazy Vegetarianism!" declard he had no interest in these 'Stupid Books'! Reading was always one of my 'Greatest Passions'! After Al and I got married, I did my best to be a devoted wife and later    be  a good mother, while teaching 'Jewish Studies' in a small Hebrew School...After many changes our small family settled down in Los Angeles, where I would become  a"Clinical Hypnotherapist". Several  years later I would received my P.h.D in Psychology. "Do you realize that Shira never stopped going        to school?!" My youngest nephew said with astonishment...  

  Throughout the years, Al and I created several groups of good friends, who stayed with us for long or short visits... Some arrived from the East Coast of the U.S, where Al grew up and others from Israel and Italy, staying at our home for short and long periods... Our gusts stopped coming after anther 'Uninvited Guest' arrived: Covid-19 Pandemic"! As it was spreading around the Globe, the death toll was rising and people were hiding at home, afraid to go out... We were 'Glued' to the T.V screen, watching with horror how this Unheard of 'Pandemic' was sending thousands of sick people, to over crowded Hospitals and Morgues... As the Death Toll was rising, socializing came to a complete stop! No more visiting friends    or attending 'Dinner parties at each other's home... People were fearing this new diseases, which was spreading around the world like a Wild Fire... 

   Besides the pandemic, other disasters were taking place around the glob: Violence, Civil unrest and         Political corruption, Elections fraud, Rape, Ban on legal Abortions, Books were removed from schools and libraries as well as Gun Control... We were watching on television 'Police Brutality' and the bitter  long war between Russia and Ukraine, which gave birth to rumors and fears, about a Third World War   On the T.V screen, we were able to see Fire consuming homes and forests, Earthquakes, Torrential     Rain, Floods and starving, sick refuges, with their children, who escaped to the to the United States      and had excperience their hopes crushed before being sent back ...     

  After the Corona Pandemic came under control, I was finally able to deal with my deep pain over the lose of Al; my Beloved Husband and Best Friend over fifty years... I hesitated about going back to work concerned about the"Foggy Forgetfulness", which was invading my brain from time to time... My friends and clients were telling me:"Why don't you Meditate Shira, as you told us to do, whenever we were having dark thoughts? It really helped us you know!" After shearing my 'latest diagnosis'..."You seem to be more frightened then me!"xI was laughingx  By now you should know, that I have always been free of Fear!"      I have to admit that in spite of my 'Bravery', I was going through a few 'Dark Moments' of my own'...    

  I can't remember when I first noticed that "My Memory", which I was always so proud of, beginning     to slow down... For the first time in my life, I was excperiencing 'Real Fear'...X"What if my Memory       is going to disappear?"... So far, the doctors were unable to find a solution to this problem... I was thinking about all the people I knew; who were loosing their memory and their families and friends        who were forced to see their 'loved ones', going through pain and lingering decline... I began to search  and was looking in to several "Alternative Healing Methods"; like Proper Nutrition, Meditation, as well  as Exercise, Acupuncture and several other kind of 'Natural Help'( No medecin)... I was always looking for the latest information about  dealing with"Dimensia" (Memory decline) and was  always looking for    more new Methods of Healing; this time it was not only for my my clients, but for me as well...  

   I would like to invite you dear readers, to visualize yourselves lifting up your wine glasses and sing together with me, the familiar song from the musical "Fiddler on the Roof" :♫"Let's drink to Life Lechaim! Lechaim, Lechaim to Life!"♫ ! Then lift our real or imagined wine glasses and add: "To Life in the Fifth Dimension!" X Below are several photos I took  of my 'Dog-Lover' Granddaughter Eliya; holding, hugging and kissing several dogs, belonging to members of our small family in California, declaring she is going to become a Veterinarian!

Savta Shira with Eliyah	Eliyah and Koah	Eliyah with Moses	Eliyah and Bear

With Love and Light,
Shira

Unexpected Challenges. XX Photos below Add more V , Photo of Karen Eliya and me OO

Name/ photos of ambulance and hospital

Essie (Ace)

    Several weeks after my birthday celebration, my granddaughter Eliyah asked me to take her for a swim at our pool... After Al's passing, Karen asked Essie (his devoted care taker)    if he would stay in order to keep me company:X"So my Mom wouldn't be all by herself in such a big house"x... He gladly agreed! During his stay with us, Essie became a part of our family, this time however he was not at home and in spite of Ellie's protests, I insisted that We wait for the swimming, until he comes back X We should always have someone near by' when we go to swim!"X Explained the reason why... After Essie returned, the two of us got out of the pool and began to walk up the stairs, in order to change our wet bathing suit; when I slipped and began X tumbling down...  Even though I did not break any limb before; the sharp pain in my left leg told me it was broken! I called for Essie, who came running, instructed him to phone Karen and Greg (Karen's patienter) and call an Ambulance... My pain told me it was not just a simple fall... It was all taking place  on December 7th, when the horrifying Murder (rather slaughter) of young Israelis vacationers,who were peacefully sleeping, after celebrating an evening of singing and dancing, on their yearly vacation...

      During the commotion, my poor Granddaughter Ellie, was sitting on the sofa crying... In spite           of  my terrible pain, I did my best to comfort her: "I will be all right Sweetheart, don't be so scared               "I  slipped and hurt my leg, not a big deal! Didn't You ever fall and hurt yourself?" I told her as      calmly could  ('cringing' with pain)... "But I Heard you say that you think your leg is broken!" Eliyah answered in a trembling voice."Don't worry my baby, even if it is broken, the doctor would fix it!" The ambulance took me to the 'Argent Care Clinic' and after a long (and painful) waiting, the X-Ray showed that my ankle was broken in two places...I was fitted with a Temporary Cast and instructed to stay in bed for the next two weeks, before coming back, to find out how the broken bone was mending...x "In this case you most probably, have to undergo a surgery and be fitted with a cast"...x

   After returning home, I was sleeping most of the time; thanks to the powerful 'Pain Killer Medicine'    the doctors prescribed... Being an active person, made it challenging and frustrating to be restricted to  bed! My Spiritual Advisor Ellen said, that Humanity is about to move from the 3rd Dimension, which      is our present home, to the 5th  Dimension;our Spiritual Home.."Your job Shira, is to write a book to prepares people for this Highly Important up coming Event!" I was told by Ellen. However, until my accident, I did not find the time to write, since I was always busy with my family, clients and friends.        It seems as if the only way, to make me sit and write the book, was to " Break a leg, in order to 'Down  load me' with a New Information, regarding the upcoming big changes Humanity is about to go through

    In spite of my optimism and sense of humor, I was having doubts, regarding my"New Job" which seems to be 'Preparing People', for the up coming journey, to the 5th Dimension... In the meantime, I    was 'Restricted to Bed'; experiencing a new and unfamiliar emotion, of feeling sorry for myself... I read    a lot, wrote in my blog, watched TV and was glad to see my friends and family members, who came to visit...  My "Playful Inner Child", was handing my visitors, crayons and markers, to 'decorating my Cast' a  request to which they enthusiastically agreed! It was amusing, to watch the 'childish excitement' on the face of my 'grown up' friends, whose playful inner kids', were suddenly set free...It seemed as if a door opened up, so they could go back in time, to the care free days of childhood, when there was nothing as exciting, as drawing on A Cast, which covered a broken leg...

  Two weeks later, the doctor called to informed me, that the Bone was not mending...         A Surgery would be necessary after all and I have to go back to Cedars Sinai... While        in the hospital, I befriended a few of the medical staff and was sharing with them the information about "Oneness Consciousness and Unconditional Love"...My new friends were nodding their heads hesitantly; probably wondering why I was not 'locked up' in        the Psychiatric Word... A handful of people (mostly from the Cleaning Crew) who were fascinated, by my Theories of the 'After Life'; asked for my phone number, so they could come for Hypnosis X Sessions...Back home I was lying in bed, using Al's old Wheel Chair to move around and feeling sorry for myself; an emotion, which was foreign to me... Even though, I was an avid reader, I found myself unable to concentrate; trying to find the right position for my Broken Leg, which was now, in heavy cast... I was restless and irritable, which was not at all like me, and was spending most of my time in bed; watching Television and programs I usually don't look at...

   On the morning of October 8th, I woke up early, feeling sorry for myself, after  restlessly turning around in bed, trying to find a more comfortable position ,for my broken leg; I turned on the television, which during these long weeks of isolation became my 'Life Line', to the outside world and was alarmed and shocked to learn about the Horrific Massacre, which took place at the Nova Festival in Israel, where women, men and children,were brutally attacked, raped or killed, then taken hostage to the Tunnels of Gaza...

   I began to call my family and friends in Israel, to find out, how they were all doing... It seems as if everyone was in a state of shock! As the days passed on, more terrifying information began to arrive describing the Brutality and Torture, the kidnapped Israelis, were experiencing, at the hands of "Hamas Terror Organization"... During the first three months after my surgery, when I was practically bed ridden my life lines, besides the telephone, included the American and Israeli television News Stations. In spite of my usual optimism, I was experiencing moments of deep sadness, unfamiliar loneliness and feelings   of loss and depression, trying my best, not to sink into Melancholy and Self pity...

   Many years ago, my mother told me, that "Turning Old is not a Picnic"... When Karen was a baby       Al and I used to fly to Florida, to visit his 'Widowed Father', as well as several aunts and uncles from  New Jersey, who moved to Miami after retirement; in order to escape the cold and freezing winters of        New Jersey... I was deeply touched by the joy and excitement, they all welcomed us and the Love they showered on our baby Karen... Their Loneliness and longing for their grandchildren in New Jersey, used  to break my heart... Now, after experiencing the loss of my own grandparents, parents, relatives, good friends and my husband; I was wondering, if during the time I become their age; it would be my turn to  go through the same Loneliness and Isolation...

   In order to shake away these gloomy thoughts, I would tell myself, the Magic Words:"Delete, Delete" and used the power of Positive thinking, as well as my Creative Imagination and Visualization, to chase these thoughts away... However, lying alone in bed and looking at the cast on my broken leg, did not do much, to encourage my 'Positive Thinker' to show up... What did help, was spending time with my tiny family of three; Karen, Greg and my sweet Granddaughter Eliyah:"The love of my life!"..."Talking to some  of my 'few friends' in the hospital, was very depressing; some were having a problem with their hearing and others, seemed to be suffering from different degrees of Dementia...I decided to go back to   start using again the 'Transcendental Meditation', I learned years before, at the 'Center of Actualization     I also allowed myself to shed a few tears ,when I was feeling sorry for myself; which was not very often

   Several mouths would pass, before the cast was removed and I was able to walk again... Meantime I  was mostly in bed, watching on T.V, the war in Israel, which was raging for months, as the hostages were held in the underground tuneless of Gaza... Israel seemed to be torn apart politically; many in the south of the country, were getting killed and wounded and others, were evacuated to the center of Israel...It seemed as if the whole world has been going Mad and the old, peaceful way of life we experienced until now, will never come back...  The few friends in my age group (81) were having all kinds of health issues Hearing Walking, losing their memory, getting in and out of hospitals and at one point forgetting who I was...

   Our familiar way of life, seemed to have changed forever! Waves of Antisemitism, were spreading        in the U.S, Europe and other parts of the world... Violent Demonstrations and Political Disagreements were taking place, almost on a daily basis... On the T.V. screen, we could watch the violence and chaos    in High schools and Universities... Dark rumors about an up coming Third World War, were spreading around like black clouds, pushed forward by the winds of Hatred... I kept on reminding myself, that not "All is Bad;"... life seems to go on after all... Kids are busy with their games and Spring seems to be on  it's way ready to paint over the 'Grayness' of winter and colorful flowers and trees, were wearing proudly   wearing their New Green Leaves.... X" What is going to be with my poor little Israel?"X I was unable to stop watching the news, on the American and Israeli channels, which were covering the war in Gaza,and was worried about the kidnapped Israelis in Gaza; trying to keep in touch with my family members and the few close friends I still had in my beloved small little and vulnerable country; Israel...

   Even though I am not Religious, I often close my eyes and prey for Peace... Reminding myself that   Hope is stronger then Fear, Laughter wipes away Tears, Joy is greater then Sadness and Love overcomes Hate!  It was not always easy, to be convinced...The recovery of my Broken Leg was taking a long time what about my Broken Heart? And feeling of guilt, for living in comfort and safety, in the U.S, while in Israel, the people I love, are exposed to daily dangerous......A year later, with the war in Israel still raging we celebrated my Granddaughter's Eliyah, seventh Birthday! "You know Savta" Eliyah said to me; "Six years old is still young, but Seven"... "Wait until you turn eighty  one!" I said pointing at myself... My "Ellie" burst into a loud laughter and gave me a big hug...

Celebration XX V, Photos Moved add a photo of me at eighty.(Al's age) OO

   Al and I bought our first home about a year after moving to California...It was a two-story red brick house, located in Studio City; with a small pool and room for a garden, where our three years three     years old daughter Karen, was 'helped us' plant some flowers and carrots... We added a "swing set"           a mall 'Play house' and were ready to 'Finally Settle Down'... Both Al and I were very social; we        loved gusts, enjoyed entertaining the new friends we made in L.A. and the visitors who flew in from    N.Y, New Jersey Washington D.C, Puerto Rico, Italy and gusts from Israel...We were able to convince      a handful of family members, from the East Coast; to join us as 'Permanent Residents' in our Sunny California: Al's younger brother Steve, who just graduated from Law School, in the east coast, came     from New Jersey,to live near us, cousin Marcia, younger then me in two years,who became my beloved 'Cousin in Law 'Soul sister and 'Best friends'... I was delighted, to be a part of a warm and loving family with whom we would celebrate our holidays, birthdays,weddings, anniversary's and be together for one another in difficult and painful times ,which 'Life' may put on our way', from time to time...

   The years were passing by fast, before realizing it, our 'Little Karen' ,who lived for a while in            New Zealand, Australia and Israel, moved back to the U.S. to study at Hebrew Union Collage.               We never 'dreamt', that our  'one and only daughter', would become an Ordained Rabbi...Al and                 I found ourselves, going through the "Empty Nest Syndrome" and decided it may be time, we             also  make a change...We began to look for the right house and eventually found one... It was       Partially  built, which enabled us to  have our own Impute, during the process of completing it!            The fact we were very busy with this new project, left us with little time, to worry about our           ''Nomadic' Only Child, who was"Still Running all over the world!", just like the two of us did               alone and together, so many years before...

   Our first house in Studio City, was located at the Bottom of a tall mountain (No view) The new one       in Sherman Oaks, was built on Top of the tallest mountain in the neighborhood and had 'Breath Taking' view from three sides... There was enough space for a garden, several fruit trees and a small swimming pool at the Backyard'. There was room for a Swing Set and a small Play House, for our future Grandchild Eliyah, who would arrive several years later, after Karen received her credentials as a 'Rabbi' and settled down in Studio City, one street away from her childhood home... Eventually, years later it would be the very same neighborhood, where she would be living with Greg and our 'One and only' beloved Grand daughter Eliyah'...

                       Our newly built home, pool, garden and ' Karen's Playhouse' in Sherman Oak

  Al and I lived in our new home for many blissful years... It was a good life! Just as in our previous      home, this one, was also full with friends and visitors; who came from all over the world...Years later     after Al's passing, at the age of Eighty three, it was good to have Karen and her tiny family, live near      by... It would help me deal better with the loneliness I was left with, after my beloved husband's Al's Departure... At one point, as my 80th birthday was approaching, I was asked by Karen, to give some thoughts and ideas, to the place I would like to celebrate it...  After considering several options, Karen  and I decided, that rather  then having the party in a restaurant, we would celebrate it at my present    house in Sherman Oaks, the place Al and I created together and enjoyed so much...

    Women only were invited... Among them several of Karen's school friends,who used to be frequent       visitors at our Studio City home... Since we had only one child, Al and I were always delighted to have   Karen's friends at our home! Her friends knew, that besides being a Psychologist, I was a Hypnotherapist   a fact which fascinated them...They often shared their problems with me and I loved to work with them (Free of charge!) After receiving their parents consent... In the following years, these former Teens, got married had kids and delighted me with an occasional visit ...Through out the years, after Al's passing Karen X would invite these friends to celebrate my birthday at our home, together with few of Albie and my friends:xX"Those who are still Ticking!" (As Al used to say) After considering several options for the party, Karen and I decided to have a "Five O'clock Tea", like the one I was introduced to, in my youth, during my first trip to England...

. Shira on Mother's day	Marcia and Shira playing "Twins"	With Karen on Shira's 80's birthday	With Etel

    Al's cousin Marcia, was a year younger then me... We always felt more like Sisters, then"Cousins          in Law"...The two of us had a lot in common: We were bouth teachers who loved to laugh,were avid Readers', enjoyed Intellectual Discussions', Classical Music,Theater, Movies and were sharing a similar playful (a 'bit childish') Sense of Humor...After settling in California, Al and I convince Marcia, to move  from New Jersey to LA, where she became a 'Loving Aunt' to four years old Karen and was our closest Family Member! We celebrated together all the holidays and Birth day parties;. We were delighted to  have a family member living near us, beside the friends we made in Los Angeles.We were able to  "Import" Al's younger brother Steve (who just graduated from Law school) and several years later  Nephew Glen Deitsch, from new Jersey, who was happy to settle in Sunny California... We  finally had      a 'Small Family' to share with us Holidays, Anniversaries and other happy events...Years later Cousin Marcia's small family of three, left us to settle in Miami, to take care of her aging parents...We kept in touch by phone, emails and and visits back and fourth, but it was not the same as having them close by 

    Years later, I called Marcia, to ask if she could "Please come and help me, with the celebration of my  80's birthday"... Her answer was very short:"Love To!  Marcia was able to find in L.A, a restaurant which was serving (and delivering) Authentic English "High Tea"... Besides Tea, the menu offered small cakes named "Scones and Crumpets" which we jokingly named; "Stones and Trumpets"...There was a variety  of  'Open face sandwiches', as well as cookies and cakes... For this Special Occasion, I used the 'Fine China' Al and I received as our Wedding Gifts, which amazingly, survived our six moves: Puerto Rico Atlanta, Augusta, Miami and Los Angeles which would be our final destination...

   This party gave me the opportunity, to invite 'who ever was Left' , from our old friends...As well as          a few previous clients, I befriended through out the years (in spite of the fact that:"Psychologists are       not supposed to befriend their Clients"...)"Other guests were a few of Karen's friends, among them        her best friend Alison, from fourth grade; whom I nicknamed "My second daughter!" The "High Tea"   was delivered to our house, which was decorated with colorful flowers from our garden...

   I  also arranged for a Workshop about the "Power of Positive Thinking" which was given by Dr     Ethel.  Marcia ordered colorful hats, decorated with paper flowers,which the guests tried on and exchanged between them: "In order to match the colors of our outfits": The hats made the house look    like a lovely "Garden of Women"... It was the first party I hosted without Al (my husband and best friend  and couldn't help feeling sad; wishing he was there with us in spirit...My pain lifted, as I looked through the window at my granddaughter Eliya and her best friend, shirking with joy, as they were running in the garden, chasing butterflies with 'Moses' barking and running close behind.. For some reason, this memory is my Sweetest Memory from that day... I have to admit that after the gusts left I began to feel lonley and  a bit sad... It was not easy admitting (even to myself) that I am getting old...X"I can't believe I am Eighty   I don't think I look a day older then sixty, right?" I asked my image in the mirror:X"Maybe even younger!x What do you think? But I recived no answetr... I wounder why?

 

 

                                                                           THE  END