Getting engaged. V, XXX O.K V

Hello everyone,

    A few days after Al came back from New Jersey, he asked me to move in with him, but I refused...  Most of the time I ended up staying over his place, which was much larger then mine and had lovely   view of the water... I told him I was not moving with anyone, unless I was a hundred percent sure he    was the One for me...  To my great surprise Al took offense and for the first time, I was able to see a     part of him, I did not noticed before... At times, he would sink into a 'Dark Mood'  where he would be becoming silent and disconnected... At one point, when he seemed very withdrawn, I told him:"What's going on Al? What's wrong with you?" His anger erupted like a volcano:What's wrong with Me? What's wrong with You?!X" He said it with such a look of rage, it made me take a few steps backwards... when Al saw my shocked expression he apologized immediately and I made light of his outburst, saying it reminds me of the way, my brother and I used to 'communicate', when we were kids..."Yes" Al said: "It makes me think of the fights I used to have with my older brother Lewis"...

   Later, when I reflected on this exchange,wondering about Al's sharp reaction, I criticize and blame myself for judging him..."After all his mother is very ill and he must feel guilty and frustrated, to be so   far away from her! It is only natural to have an 'Emotional Outburst' from time to time; especially now when his mother is so sick!... I made up my mind not to take his anger personally and treated him with tenderness... Al grew up in Paterson N.J, in a small Jewish Community,where the young Teenagers socialized and celebrated their "Bar Mitzva" (Becoming Thirteen years old) at the local Jewish temple Besides studding Bible and Jewish studies, the kids in the local Temple, socialize and celebrate their    "Bar and Bat Mitzva", when they turned thirteen years old.

Hilton  Hotel 

one of the beaches
in Puerto Rico

  At thirty three, Al was the only one in his group of friend, who  was still single and was often teased about it... Six months after    we met, four couples of his closest friends came to  Puerto Rico       for a visit... I liked them right away! We had a wonderful time together; lounging on the beach chairs next to the hotel, talking  joking and laughing... Al and I took his friends to few Casinos    and introduced them to our new Israeli friends, Ellie and Yedida, who invited all of us for an Israeli dinner at their home... We went to Night Clubs, Shows and  gambled in the casinos, as well as several other Tourist Attractions', spending most of our time, by the beach or the pool and were arguing and laughing non stop... At one point Alvin said:"Shira, I would like you to know, that the reason we all came here on this Vacation, is to 'Check you out' and make sure, you are suited for Al, our last Single Friend! I am glad to tell you Shira, that you 'Passed the Test' and all of us approve of you!  So please tell us when is the Wedding?!" I looked at Alvin, smiled sweetly and said: "I am very faltered that I past the test, as far your question, why don't you ask your 'Last single friend Al', when is he going to propose to me and let me know! "         

      

 

Emil Deitsch

Clara Deitsch

  Al was flying to N.J every other month... His mother's prognosis was not good...The doctors predicted that with Chemotherapy treatments, she may be able to live for another year...  At one point, after Al came back,he told  me, that his parents decided to come for a visit to Puerto Rico (in spite of his mom's serious illness) in order to meet me... Emil, Al's dad, adored his wife and was devastated by her illness! He was a hard working man and his life revolved around a the family Dairy Business, which would grow beyond any of their expectations!  "Only in America!" Al's Dad would often say: "Only in this amazing country, people could  have so many opportunities for successes! Only in this country of the United Stats of America!

 

   At one point Al's  parents came to Puerto Rico in order to to meet me... The four of us spent pleasant days together, driving around the city, looking at Tourists Attractions or just 'Hanging Out' in Al's  large Condominium Apartment... During some of our trips, Al's mother excused herself, asking us to take her back to Al's Condo; where she could lie down and rest for a while... At one point, the four of us, spent the evening at Al's place, when I noticed it was rather late and I should be going to my apartment... As I was saying my goodbye, Clara gave me a hug: "Please come to visit us in New Jersey, Shira!",x  she whispered in my ear :"I Know that everything between  the two of you will work out!" She said. Al, who was standing on the other side of the room, came over, X and was  looking at us with suspicion..."What are  the two of you talking about?!" He asked. "We are talking about You Darling!" I said with a smile,"What else your parents and I, have may in common?!" His parents began to laugh and the two us joined in...

 

  After driving his parents to their hotel, we entered my small apartment and set down, facing one another Al was sitting at the edge of the chair and seemed to be to be Nervous... We talked about the evening and  I asked him if his parents had a good time in Puerto Rico...X"Yes they did, but my mom is annoyed and wouldn't talk to me!" AL answered with a strange expression, almost as if he was a frightened child." Why not? X didn't she like Puerto Rico?" I asked surprised... X"Yes, they bouth did, but my mom wouldn't talk to me X because she wants me to ask you to marry me".X He answer..."So why don't you?"I  asked, trying hard not to laugh... Al  was looking at me, as if he was a frightened little boy: "You mean you will agree?" He finally said..."Of course I will, Dummy!" I answered...  I was surprised to realize, he was afraid I would say 'No'..."X Don't you know by now how much I love you?!"x We drove back to Al's place and shared the news with his delighted parents... After the shrieks of joy, excitement, tears, laughter, hugs  and kisses Al's mother took off her diamond ring, saying it belonged to her 'Mother in law' (Al's Grand Mother) who gifted it to her for their engagement...."Now I am passing it on to you, Shira !" Clara said, wiping off her tears..."How can I take your engagement ring?!" I protested! "Don't worry!" Al's father said,  "Years ago  I bought Clara another ring, with a much larger stone!" Without saying a ward Al took the ring and put it on my finger...We looked at each other and began to laugh: We were engaged!

   Three weeks later, we flew to Al's home in Paterson N.J... Aunt Nettie and uncle Irwin, Clara's brother and his wife, hosted our engagement party in their home; where I met Steve, Al's younger brother and his older brother Lewis, his wife Nancy and their two sons Glen and  Darryl. I was introduced to uncle Sam Clara's brother, his wife, aunt Rhoda and their son and daughter; Vicky and Larry... It would take a while before I was able to memorize all the names of my new family members.After Al and I flew back to Porto  Rico and developed the photographs, he wrote the names on the bac of the photos, so I would be able to memorize them in time for our wedding...

Engagement Party with some of Al's Family

 

	Mom & Dad					Irwin & Netty
	Louis & Nancy					Murray & Roselyn
	Glenn & Darrel					Sam & Rhoda
	Marcia & Steve					Larry & Vicky

 

   Several days after the engagement party, Al's close friends Alvin and Mala, invited us to their home,with the rest of Al's friends, in order to celebrate our engagement...The men were teasing Al, for "finally being  caught in the 'Marriage Trap', just like they were, ten years earlier..."Wait until the babies arrive and you wouldn't sleep at night!" They teased us... It was a lovely party, full of laughter, joy and love

 

Engagement Party with Al's closest Friends

 

		Alvin and Mala				Ray and Harriet
		Jack and Louise				Herbie and Myra
		Joel and Marylin				Jay and Elaine

 

   All week long we were taken out to fancy restaurants, by Al's older cousins and close friends, to celebrate our engagement... It felt as if we were floating on a cloud of happiness and were sweeping  everyone else with us! Gifts were arriving daily at Al's parents home...When I expressed my surprise        that in America, gifts are being sent 'Before the wedding', I was told that these were just the engagement gifts; the wedding gifts would come later...

    Clara and I would sit and talk for hours... She told me about her childhood in the lower 'East Side'         of Manhattan, which her father, who immigrated by himself from Russia to the U.S, shortly after she    was born, leaving his wife and the baby with her parents... Her father worked as a Carpenter for a year  saving enough money, to buy the "Boat Tickets" for his wife and the small child, who came from Russia  to the U.S.... Clara told me about the two small bedrooms apartment, she shared with her three sister, three brothers and their Hard Working parents; who"Saved every penny", so she could take Piano lessons... A years later, they would bring their entire family, from the Lower East Side, to live next to them, in New Jersey: "During that time, Jewish families used to help one another!" Her 'In-Law'  helped her father and brothers to open a Carpentry Shop, which would eventually become a large and  very successful Furniture Company...

 

Al and Lewis

Baby Stephen

   Clara enjoyed talking about the years when the "Boys were small" She shared with me funny stories about Al; like the time she and her husband were out with friends and Al, who was six years old, called  the police, to report that his older brother Lewis:"Stole his bikes!" And demanded they come and put him in Jail... She also told me about the day she announced to her two boys, that another baby is going to join the family; asking them not to tell it to anyone yet... To which Al, who was five years old responded: "Is it O.K if I tell Daddy?" 

   At her request I shared with Clara my family's history: How my   Grand Parents came from Russia to Israel, the difficulties they were facing, the constant wars with the Arab neighbors, the two years of my service in the army, my arrival to the University of Huston in Texas and later, my move to N.Y.C... Clara and I were getting to know each other intimately. At one point Clara asked with a shy smile, if I would call her 'Mom':"Unless you feel it may offend your mother!" She sad.X"There is no reason to worry," I told her "since in Hebrew,  the ward Mom is 'Ima'!" From that moment on, I called Al's parents Mom and Dad... Three days before returning to Puerto Rico, Clara's best friend, took me aside and reviled what Clara said to her, a few days before:X"Shira is my Moment of Happiness!" We were asked  by her to choose the wedding date: "As Soon as Possible!"... We didn't have to ask 'why', since we knew how ill she was...It was decided that Aunt Roslyn, Clara's sister, would  help me prepare for the 'Big Day'!  She took me to some of the finest stores in Manhattan, in order to select our 'China, Silverware and other 'Glassware'      so our gusts, would be able to choose their gifts for the wedding... It was all new to me and I felt a kind   of "Culture Shock", as I was looking at the prices of 'Brand names', which  I have never seen before. I was told that our gusts, would be choosing their gifts from the list, which Al and I would prepare.X When    I expressed my concern that some of the the"Fragile gifts', may break on the way to Puerto Rico (like the expensive cups and plates) Al began to laugh;" We may have to take a 'Special Insurance for such a case!" X He said in a ton x  which made me feel 'a bit unsophisticated'...

 

   I knew that Al's family owned a Dairy Business, but only after talking to his cousin Marcia, I found      how large it really was... She told me, that what I thought was Al's father's 'Small Family Business', was not as small as I believed it was, but rather a very Large Company, created by Al's uncle Jack and his two brothers...The New Company which was distributing milk and milk products, to Markets all over N.J and was planning to spread to Manhatten, across the bridge! Instead of being impressed, I began to feel a bit concerned: Materialism, was not quiet the way I was brought up! On the contrary: My Vegetarian parents were always stressing the importance of a 'Modest Life' and the need to resist the temptations of lagury. x The need of Showing off  may create 'Toxic Emotions of Jealousy and Resentments! They also said how worshiping Money and accumulating more and more possessions, were not the way to have the peace of  mind which people are looking for in order to be grateful and happy! 

 

  I began to notice Al's attachment to 'designers Clothes,  expensive cars, furniture and 'Brand  Name' items and became a bit concerned, that this difference between us, may create disagreements about our lifestyle... I  began to feel very uncomfortable, when people were commenting on the size of the diamond of my Engagement Ring, saying, that for me, the importance of the ring, was not the 'Size of the dimond  Diamond', but rather the fact it once belonged to Al's Grandmother... "Why do you have to say that?" Al asked me puzzled..."Because it is true!" I said, trying to figure out the reason for his 'annoyance'... Al  gave me a hug, stroked my hair and said in a 'Patronizing voic:'"I think I understand darling; it is all so new for you; after all Israel is a small, young and poor country, I am sure that soon you will change your mind about Fine Jewelry and other Luxuris and begin to enjoy them!" He said."You don't realy kno me darling" XI answered, kissing him lightly on the forehead X"But  I am sure that we will learn more about each other as time goes by... 

 

  The weeks before the wedding were intense and full of excitement! However, we were very concerned about Al's mother deteriorating health...The preparation for our wedding, seemed to help for a while, to calm down our thoughts and concerns about her illness...Clara asked us to give her a free hand, to choose the style of the Invitations and the proper Florist and be responsible for the Band and the Photographer, as well as the sitting arraignment and the  invitations for the few gusts from Puerto Rico and the small group of my Israeli friends in N.Y...  When we arrived to Al's parents home, two weeks before the wedding, his mother was radiant! It was hard to believe how ill she was...But we knew it was "Only a matter of time'' and this knowledge clouded our joy...

 

  Back in San Juan there were more parties... One was given by Al's friends, the second by parents of my students and a third, by our proud "Matchmakers" Barbra and Spencer... I was Stunned to get a letter from Paul, letting me know  he was  he was divorcing his wife, realizing his marriage was a "Terrible Mistake!" He was getting ready to start his first post as an Ambassador, in one of the African Countries, sugesting  that the two of us getting back together...  Painful memories began to surface and I felt a sharp stabbing Pain of missing him... I was shocked to discover, that the pain over our separation, I believed was gone forever; was still there and 'Forced it to leave', by reminding myself how grateful I should be, for the 'Gift of love and happiness', which I was now sharing with "Albie" my new man, which destiny has brought to my life, together with his warm loving family and group of friends...I also realized, that it may take some time to let go  completely, of the 'Pain over Paul' and was wondering if it ever will... My parent and my brother Rami, began to plan the trip for our wedding... Dalia, my 'Sister in  law', who was expecting their third Child, stayed home... It would be my parents and brother's first time trip, out of Israel and their joy and excitement added was aded to my  hapiness! 

With Love and Light,

Shira

♪ Falling In Love Again ♪. V, X (Curasao up- Barbedos up rightX.) Fix Photos.... X X OOV

Puerto Rico
1970-1973 

Hello everyone,

      In the 1930's, the famous German actress Marlene Dietrich, settled in Hollywood and became a    popular Movie Star, as well as a Singer...One of her well known songs, was "Lily Marleen". Rumors      say that  during the Second World War, this song was sang by bouth the American And German troops   on both sides of the battlefield... Another of her popular songs was "Falling in love again". I chose as    the title of this post... It is known, that the beginning of most love affairs, is always intoxicating... When    Al  and I fell in love, we were thrilled to discover our similarities... Besides classical music and reading we greatly enjoyed the Arts, Movies and the Theater, as well as the company of close friends and family members (most  of them)... However, we mostly enjoyed being by ourselves, and later on with our one and only child, our daughter Karen...We were also 'Addicted to traveling' and the discovery of interesting new places. It was one of the reason, the two of us ended up in Puerto Rico, where we met...  

 

  As single people we wished to spread our wings and travel as far away as we could... Far  way from our parents 'Nagging' us to "Settle down, get married and have a family:X "Like your friends have done!" The two    of us had much in common: We bouth decided to 'Spread our wings' and fly as far away as we could    from our 'loving and nagging' parents'...Was it just a coincidence, or was it destiny which brought the    two of us together, fall in love and get married, were we trying to escape our parents nagging that   "It is about time to get married!"... What ever the reason was, the two of us were happy we met...  

   Mario was Al's closest friend in Puerto Rico... His family came from Cuba to Florida, after escaping Castro's Regime... He married Marganet, an adorable, natural Red Head, 'Southern Belle' from Florida  The four of us became Inseparable! We spent the weekends together; going to restaurant, movies, the beach, cooking and dining at each other's place, gambling in the Casinos, traveling all over the island    and celebrating Holidays together... Al and I found nd out that our new friends, were Pot Smokers...        Al and  I were were very much against 'Such Things' (Illegal!)... One evening, after having dinner           at  their home; our two friends offered us to "Share a pipe" with them...Al refused to touch it, saying          he just gave up the cigarettes he was addicted to and made promise himself, never to smoke again!'    (Especially not Illegal Substance!'). I on the other hand, remembered my experience I had in N.Y          and was eager to try again...After several "Puffs" I was laughing non stop!' Al who refused to join           us (since he was against any thing 'Illegal') Eventually he gave in. As the pipe was passing  around,        he kept on saying, how he didn't feel anything different until it was time to go home and my 'Albie'       was unable to stand up... For some reason it made him laugh non stop, sweeping the rest of us with       his laughter! No one died or arrested; it was the beginning of a great friendship!

   Every other weekend Al and I would board a small plane to a different island near Porto Rico...        Each one of these islands, belonged at one time or another, to several European Countries: Saint       Martin was Dutch, Martinique was French, in Barbados they spoke English in a British accent and      Saint Martin was divided: One part belonged to Holland, where the people spoke Dutch and the other      was French... Curacao and Martinique were also French, Barbados was British, St John in the "Virgin Islands" belonged to the U.S. where the spoken English had an American accent. Each Island had the same Culture, Art, Music, Food and drinks, as in their old "Mother Land"... 

 

		photo of  Barbados below
St.  John	Martinique	Saint Martin "Sint Marten"

another photo below

     The Island  were the "Miniature Representatives" of the country they belonged to... Al and I preferred the French Islands; where the spoken X langughe was French... The stores and vendors displayed French perfumes,"Copies" of the latest Parisian fashion and 'Miniatures' of the 'Arch de Triumph' and the "Eiffel Tower'. The British Islands offered Umbrellas, Rain Coats,Whiskey and Cigars, while the Dutch Islands displayed wooden shoes, paintings of tulips and 'Key Chains' of miniature Wind Mills...The rest of the Islands were charming as well; each representing  another European Mother Land..... .  

xxx.  up

Curacao

Wooden Dutch shoes

 .

Barbados

British phone booth

  In Barbados, as well as in Jamaica, the natives spoke English   in a British Accent... The Duty Free stores were very similar   to those in the other islands. The tourists could see the typical British red Mailboxes and Phone booths, which I remembered seeing as a child in Jerusalem,when Israel was under the British control...Visiting these islands, felt like a visit to Paradise...The  beauty and peace of the yellow sand beaches, with warm torques water, the Calypso music in addition of Cold Beer for Al and sweet 'Pina Colada' for me; made a perfect background for our growing, intoxicating love! It felt as if we arrived to Paradise and prayed it would stay like this... 

   Suddenly, our time together which was filled with laughter and joy stopped for awhile... we found out that Al's mother was diagnosed with 'Stomach Cancer' and her health was deteriorating fast...Al  was  Flying to visit his mother in Paterson New Jersey, as often as he could... At one point after I drove him    to the Air Port, the two of us were sitting on a bench, waiting for his flight, when Al began to talk about  his mother...To my great amazement, I saw tears rolling down his cheeks ... Never before have I seen a 'grown man' cry... Israeli men never cried in public... Yet here was Al, crying without displaying any Inhibitions or 'Masculine Embarrassment' wiping his eyes, with his Snow White, ironed handkerchief   (Tissues were still unknown) As I was watching him cry, a strange thought suddenly crossed my mind   "A Real Strong Man is not necessarily the one who Never Cries; but the one who dares to do so!" a thought crossed my mind... I believe that this was the moment I decided to marry him, if he ever asks

With Love and Light

Shira

Puero Rico. X. V, OO

Puerto Rico, 1970

Hello Everyone

    I didn't know much about 'Puerto Recants', besides what I learned from the movie"West Side story"        X which was about the Puerto Recans who lived in Manhatten, rather then the Island in the Caribbeans       I was a bit surprised to find out, that Jewish immigrants from Cuba, who were able to escape 'Castro's regime, moved to this beautiful Spanish/English speaking Island, as well as few American families      who came to Puerto Rico, in order to opened factories, so they could enjoy the Tax deduction for their business.I was pleasantly surprised to learn, that besides me there was an Israeli family on this Island Yedida, Elli and their three boys... Their last name was Cohen, like mine and needles to say we became close friends, or rather an 'Immediate Family' as we called ourselves....  

   Besides teaching Hebrew, Bible and Jewish history three hours each day, I was also preparing thirteen years old boys, for their Bar Mitsva' (turning thirteen years old) I was often invited for 'Friday Night Dinner' and other Jewish holiday celebrations...My work as a Hebrew and Jewish Studies teacher began  at 2:00 p.m, shortly after the Jewish students came out of public school...Since I was not studying at the University (for a change!) I was able to have my morning hours free and used this 'Free Time' to get to know this beautiful Island, by driving around in my second hand car; an old Volkswagen I purchased at       a Used cars Dealership... My mornings were free, since teaching at the Hebrew School, was in the After noon... I was able to drive all around the Island, enjoying the lush green beauty of the 'Rain Forests' and the amazing Water Falls, one could see throughout the island and was able to admire, the golden sand beach, next to the turquoise water...

   Those who saw the movie Fiddler on the Roof, probably remember 'Yentle, the comical Matchmaker...  Even though this "Profession" disappeared with the years; the need to introduce unmarried people, was still in the 'Genetic pool' of every Jewish woman... One day, Barbra the mother of two of my Bar Mitzvah students, cornered me, saying that her husband Spencer, met a charming single Jewish Guy from New Jersey, who is the 'Vice Manger of the well known Carib Hilton Hotel in the island... Spencer told her he was 'Nice looking', very pleasant and a 'Serious Guy'! (Meaning, a good candidate for marriage)... Barbra added that Spencer asked this 'Nice looking, pleasant and 'serious candidate', if he would like to meet a very pretty and intelligent young Israeli teacher and the 'Candidate' agreed...

   My protests that I am not interested in 'any thing serious', since I plan to teach in Australia, after         one year in P.R  fell on deaf ears..."Shira!" Barbra said "Don't forget that this June, you are going           to be twenty six... Don't you think  it is about time to stop running around the world and get married!"      I protested that I was only twenty five and asked her, if someone (my mother maybe?) contacted her asking for help, to save her 'One and only daughter' (me) from becoming an Old Maid, like her three unmarried sisters in law (my aunts) X"What was it all about this 'Serious Candidate?" I was asking suspiciously...X"Don't worry Shira" Barbra said", "Let's have a drink at our home with this young        man before we go for dinner and 'Gamble a bit' at one of the Large Casinos...X What do you have to    loose?X  When I protested that I am not a X Gambler she convinced me that it would be fun!x "Let's          go out and have a good time; if you don't like him you don't have to see him again ! Well, how could          I imagine that I am going to fall in love with him...

  Years later, Al would say that the moment he saw me, at the Rosenberg's living room, he knew I was  "The One he was waiting for!"... We had drinks X(No alcohol oir Shira, just lemonade!). We talked for       a while and took off in Al's "Cadillac", which Barbra made sure to tell me, was a very prestigious car!  On our way to the French Restaurant in old Sun Juan we stopped for gas and were chatting and laughing as the attended was filling up the tank... At one point one point, Al (the 'serious candidate') was saying something so funny, it made me laugh uproariously! It wasn't only what he was saying, as much as his sense of humor, which impressed me so much...It was spontaneous sophisticated, intelligent and funny! "Life could be rather gloomy at times" I found myself thinking and sending him a side look..."To be with someone who has such a great sense of humor, could help overcome many difficulties with laughter!"

   This thought astonished me! I glanced at Al's profile and for the first time, realized how handsome he  was! His sideburns had a touch of silver, which reminded me of Stuart Granger (the movie star I admired  as a Teenager)) I noticed he had good manners, a great sense of humor and was great conversationalist... Just like Paul, Al was six years older than me, as a matter of fact I realized with amazement, that these  two men actually resembled one another! As we were pulling away from the Gas Station, I felt how the heavy door in my heart, which was tightly closed, after my separation from Paul, was beginning to crack  a bit open ... Could this man be The One?" I found myself wondering... It was scary but also exciting! 

   The menu was in French...When Al asked me what would I like to start with, I confessed that I am not  familiar with the French Cuisine... Al sugested I try the Escargot! Being born and raised in Israel, where even 'Non-kosher' Jews like me were repelled by any kind of Seafood except fish... I was assuming that 'Escargot' meant 'Escarole'..."What could be wrong with 'lettuce'?" I told myself... The answer came when a large plate, full of 'Slimy Creatures' in their shells, 'swimming' in melted butter, was put in front of me... I had to confess that it was the first time in my life, to be served this kind of food, and had no idea how to eat it... Al gallantly offered to teach me, the way I should hold the special 'Pliers' and tiny fork which came with this"Treat... When I attempted to do so, the shell with the 'creature' in it, slipped out and flew all the way across the restaurant, barely missing one of the Diners...

Ellie and Yedida  "Chosen family"	Shira	First date at Michel French Restaurant	Al	Spencer and Barbara, our "Matchmakers"

 

     Four years later after moving to California, Al (my husband by then) and I hosted a dinner party in   our garden... I suggested that each couple would talk about their first date... After Al told this story to    the amused guests, he added: "The moment I saw the 'shell', flying all over the place, I decided to marry  Shira! I figured there is so much I could teach her!" I straightened my back and said sweetly:"You know what Albie? You sound like a typical 'Male Chauvinist Pig', who believes he could 'Mold any woman'  according to his own taste'; When would you finally realize it will never work out with me darling?!" I smiled sweetly...There was a loud laughter and some applauds  by the women, who took the opportunity  to complain about their controlling husbands; who came back, with their own complaints, about their wives... It was very entertaining until the friendly argument began to change from a teasing conversation into Combative and Angry wards.. I caught Al's eye, sending him a silent massage of concern and was relived, when he raised his hand and asked for silence... "Guys" He declared: "Let's be honest here! We have to admit that our wives may have a point! After all we are men who are dominating by nature, so please forgive us dear Ladies, come on gays, let's  all calm down, stop arguing and go with Shira to the kitchen to wash the dishes and don't forget  Ladies, to bring us our randy, coffee and cigar, before you    do that!" I invited the 'angry laughing' women to come with me to the kitchen, where we put a "Bitter Surprise" in our husbands coffee... 

      About fifteen years after the 'Snail Incident', Al and I were watching the movie 'Pretty Woman',which showed Julia Roberts, struggling with her 'Escargot' ,when the 'Snail in the shell' takes off and lands on the other side of the room, on someone head...In later years I often wondered if one of the guests at our dinner party, have passed on this story to someone they knew in the movie business, who adopted the idea of 'The Escargot'... After all Hollywood is right next door to Studio City, where we lived... It could also be that one of our next door neighbors, who was a script writer (or his wife, whom we never liked) was listening behind our common fence, while we were disusing this and got the idea for the movie...   

   At the beginning of this post I shared how attracted I was to Al's sense of humor, which was similar to  my Dad's... As the years passed by and the two of us, were going through many challenges; our humor and love of laughter, would often help us overcame many difficulties and painful moments... Below are some of these 'Precious moments of laughter', which my darling husband and I shared through out our life...

With Love, Light and laughter
Shira

The Hand of Fate OO . XX. Fix space below (change blue to black ). Photo with the Uzi... X Vv

Puerto Rico and St. Thomas
1970

Hello everyone, 

     In my last few posts I described the gradual healing of my broken heart; after finding out that Paul     the "Love of my life", married another woman... (New York, New York and Purging and Healing)in the          In  the post: Moving On, I have written about my slow recovery, during the time I  was living in the Upper-East side of Manhattan and was looking for the right university in Australia, to study toward my Masters' Degree in Psychology... I was able to find a teaching position in one of the few Hebrew Schools in Sydney and was getting ready for one more exciting move! I always made sure that my "Obsessive Traveler", would 'allow me' to combine my travels with studies towards a PhD degree... The only way    to  do so, was by teaching Hebrew and Jewish Studies, at the school of a local Jewish Congregation, so     I could make a living...The university in Australia, had the exact program I was looking for, in addition  to an excellent Job offer from Hillel (The International Jewish Students association) and I was invited     to  be in charge of the Hillel Activities at two of the universities... I was on a roll! It seemed as if most   of  my wishes are being fulfilled just because I expected it to be...Wow!

Streets of Old San Juan

   I had over three months of vacation before starting my job and studies in      the new Continent... Before the move, I planed to go back to Israel, in order      to see my family and friends, whom I haven't seen for almost two years and  then fly to Australia. Joe (Joseph) a close friend of my Roommate Avi, who lived in the Virgin Islands, came the previous year for a visit and was staying   in our apartmen for a week full of fun...I shared with him my plans to visit Porto Rico, which is next to the Virgin Islands, so I can attend some concerts    of the renown 'Pueblo Casals Festival'...(Did I tell you before I was a 'classical music' Freak?)  Avi invited me to visit him, in the near by island of St Thomas, where he lived; just one hour flight from Puerto Rico, the largest island in the Caribbeans... He also told me I could stay in his place before going to teach in P. R, so I could save the money I would pay for hotels... 

 

   Two years passed by since I have seen my family... I flew from N.Y to Israel, making a short to        stop  in Turkey (which I have not seen yet...) Five days later I took an El Al plain to Israel, where I  would  stay for a whole month, visiting with my family and friends and fly back to N.Y. where I was Staying with my 'Former Roommates' for several days, then take the airplane to Puerto Rico! Once    there, I visited the sister of a former 'Privet Student', with whom I became very friendly during her        stay in N.Y... The sister lived in Sun Juan, with her family and offered to get me ahead of time the  Concert Tickets for the yearly 'Pueblo Casals Festival', who was the well known music Composer         and Conductor from P.R! Since I was a 'Classical Music X'Freek' I couldn't believe my luck! This      lovely lady invited me for cocktails at her home, so I could meet local friends who took me to see          the places Tourists always wanted to see...  

 

    My new friends were singing and playing their guitars, as we walked along the of streets of Old         'San Juan.."This is Shira and she is a 'Sargent' in the Israeli Army! X I was introduced...We visited            a  mgnificent 'Spanish Style' old Synagogue, where Jewish kids, were studying in the Hebrew school          I was introduced to the Rabbi, who upon hearing, I was an Israeli and a Judeica and Hebrew Teacher declared that I was sent from the Holy Land (or from Heaven) since the congregation was desperate       for a teacher like me! The rabbi offered to double my celery if I agree... I couldn't believe my ears!     How can I even think about saying No?! "But you Must go to Australia, you gave your ward!" My shocked Inner criteqe was saying..."Don't worry so much!" I was talking to myself; "I can find a good excuse for the Rabbi in Australia, who knows maybe my"Bashert"(The destend Husband in Yiddish)        is waiting for me here... If I stay in Puerto Rico for a year, I would be able to save money and and take      a vacation which I realy deserve, after so many years of teaching and studying..."Do it Shira! Take a  break and rest for a year in this beautiful 'Gan-Ede' (Heavenly Garden)You worked hard, accomplish many things and it is now time to rest, you deserve it; go for it!"x I picked up the phone and told the      rabbi I would be happy to except his Job offer and move to Purerto Rico before school begins...

The Caribbean islands 

  There were two weeks before the school year began... I gave Joe's phone number to my new friends in Porto Rico and got on the small plain, which  would take me to San Thomas, in the Virgin Islands...  My heart was biting fast as I looked through the tiny window, at the magnificent colors of the Caribbean Islands below: It was 'Intoxicating'! My new friend was a perfect Host! He wouldn't say much about this work and I didn't push, after all he was Avi's friend, so I assumed it had something to do with the Israeli Secret Service and I didn't asked...

 

   Never before I imagined, that such beauty existed! The calm water with different shades of blue and        green, created a magnificent Torques Color...There were Rain Forests and lush Vegetation which I have never seen before! During the day I would walk in the Old Town, where the narrow streets were lined  with stalls, displaying typical Island clothes and paintings of local artists. The  many shops next to the  old  'Slaves Market', were crowded with Tourists from the Cruse Ships, which were flooding the islansd      People were buying duty free Cigarettes, Alcohol, Jewelry, Watches and other items which evidently   were much more expensive at home... I visited several Sugar and Rubber Plantations and swam... It     was 'Paradise'!  Joe would come back from his 'Mysterious Job'; around four or five in the afternoon  After he showered we set on the porch with a cool drink (No alcohol for me!) and were watching the magnificent shades of blue in the water below... At times it would feel as if I was in a kind of "Hypnotic Trance" as I was listening to 'Calypso' records my 'Host' collected and was singing with 'Harry Belafonte  '♪"Come mister Talyman taly me bananas, daylight come and me wanna go home ♪"... I was in heaven   

One evening the two of us were having 

Rain forest

an Israeli dinner (cooked by me) the phone rang and Joe picked it up..."Rabbi Waldenberg is on the phone!" He said handing me the receiver..."I am looking forward to see you here in September!" I heard the Rabbi's voice... For a moment I forgot all about the Teaching Position in Puerto Rico, then recalled the talk with the Rabbi about the up coming Job...X"What am        I doing? I Must go on with my Studies! Besides, what about the opportunity in Australia? I have just gone through difficult years of working hard to get my B.A   as well as teaching and studying to become a Certified Hebrew School Teacher  and was able to achieving all this, while trying to recover from a Broken heart! What could be so bad if    I take it easy for a year, rest a little, sit on the beach under a Coconut Tree and drink a Pina Colada... I deserve to have some fun! Australia could wait for another year! I will find a good excuse...When would    I have this kind of a Job Opportunity again? X I have already made a few friends here and a great Job is waiting for me... "Don't hesitate, go for it Shira!"X  

 

    Another voice joined in the conversation:" X"You must be  very careful; If you take this Job you may    never be able to finish your studies and become a Psychologist! Don't do it, even if it is tempting! You may be sorry if you did!" But I refused to listen..." I would be Teaching at this Hebrew School form September to June; Nine Months only! I am very tired from studding and deserve a break! I could also save some money for the first few months in Australia; Maybe even have a 'Temporary small romance' to erase the pain and attachment to Paul...I should stay in Puerto Rico for one year, it is only a short flight from these amazing Caribbean Islands! It could even help me erase the left over pain, over my separation from Paul  XAfter I shared these thoughts with Joseph, he said flirtatiously:x "Go for it Shira, I would be glad to be your guide!" The Tone' of his voice made me uncomfortable.. I felt no attraction to him and was beginning to wounder, how long it may take to get over my 'Attachment to Paul'; fearing it may never go away...  

Magen's Bay

   The following day, after Joe came back from his 'Mysterious Work', I was sitting on the terrace, taking in the breathtaking view of Megan Bay, when I suddenly heard the same "Inner Voice" which I heard in Detroit Michigan (The Dark Moment of the  Soul) I excused myself and left for my room, to be alone and think about this 'Turn of Evens"and how the 'Fog of Confusion' begins to lift..."I feel as if the hand of Faith is deciding for me!"X I was thinking, going inside to select another 'Calypso record' and admiring again, the magnificent view and 'Calm Peace', which I was surrounded with... I wrote letters to the University in Australia and the Hillel Organization, extending my deep regrets that due to 'Unforeseen serious events, I will have to postpone my arrival to Australia for the following school year and was hoping they would still want      me... I then called Rabbi Waldenberg, saying I will see him the following week in order to sighn the contract and get ready for the up coming school year... 

 

With Love and Light,
Shira

Moving Forward .X Photos disapeared , X OO. V (fix photo)

Hello everyone,

   The six months since I sublet my studio apartment in the Village, came to an end and I moved to the Upper West Side of Manhattan, into a lovely specious apartment, on the Tenth Floor of an impressive building, overlooking the Hudson River... I shared it with two Israeli roommates, bouth guys. One was Avi; who said he was working as a 'Gard' in the Israeli Consulate (I suspected he was an Agent of the Israeli Secret Service) We never talked about it (even though I was "Dying to know!")... Ariel, my other 'roommate' was a twenty one years old student, right after his Military Service in Israel, who was now a Freshman at N.Y.U.

   There were many people coming and going through our large and bright apartment... I was delighted    to leave behind me the Self-Imposed isolation, which I created for myself in the Village... The "Bulimia" cleared completely and my entire being' was sparkling with 'Joy of Life!'...  I was discovering again the    the pleasures of stimulating company, making new friends and most of all, delighted to get over my 'Self Imposed' months of loneliness, in my small Studio Apartment in the Village... The new apartment was known as the "Social Gathering Place', for Israelis who visited or lived temporarily in N.Y... We cooked dined and celebrated the Holidays and had many"Meaningful Discussion', until the 'Late hours of the Night'. We listened to popular records of the Beatles; Bob Dylan and Peter Paul and Mary,who were singing: "Where have all the flowers gone", together with other popular songs of the time...

    It was there when I had my first 'experience' with Marijuana... In Israel of those days, Marijuana was looked upon as one of the drugs only criminals use... My new friends, tried to convince me, that there is "Nothing Wrong" with smoking a little pot... But I strongly refused! After six months, they finally were able to convinced me to take a few puffs... After choking and coughing I found myself laughing and was  unable to stop... It seemed as if my senses were going through some kind of 'Amazing Awakening'! I felt as if I was a child again, who is discovering the world around her for the first time... It almost seemed as  if I was walking in the footsteps of our Biblical Eve; after taking the First Bit from the Forbidden Apple However, as incredible as this experience was, I decided that if I smoke it again, I would only do so with the man I love... I was also beginning to wonder if I will ever meet another man, I would be able to love  as much as I loved Paul...

   In those days Carnegie Hall, the Metropolitan Opera, in addition to Broadway and other Small theaters gave 'Leftover Tickets'  to Foreign Students... Ariel, who loved classical music as much as I did, made sure to get tickets for the best performances and the two of us, were busy going to many concerts and shows, we had time to go, between our classes and work... Our relationship reminded me of the one I developed in my short stay in Paris; with young Jacques, whom I teased and treated like a young brother (European Vacation) We cared for one another and made sure we were O.K, as Siblings do...

Yellow "Birds"

   When I was not teaching or studying, I walked all over Manhattan, fascinated by everything I saw; as if I was looking at Pictures in an Exhibition..The yellow cabs, seemed like flocks of doves; descending and stopping to collect several crumbs, which they found here and there...  Girls wearing pink and blue 'Tutus'  were climbing the old crooked stairs, to the Ballet Studio of 'Igor and Madam'  on 52  St and 7th Ave... An Italian Vendor was selling flowers on the corner of my street and was always smiling as I passed by to give me a flower, saying in his thick Italian Accent: "Bella  Bellisema!"X

Pagoda Phone booth

   I liked to stroll in the crowded streets of China Town, with it's restaurants and      Souvenir Shops...The public phone booths were decorated as if they were little Pagodas... I was walking by the United Nations Building, looking at the many colorful flags of the countries which they represented; swaying in the wind and  was watching the Diplomats, in their Tailored Suits,who were walking back and forth, along the many corridors, of the United Nation building; oblivious to the cleaning crew, which were shrinking to the side, when ever those 'Important People' walked by and rush back to resume their work of polishing the Marble Walls and washing (again) the Shiny Floor...

The UN building

   Everything in N.Y was exciting! The different Ethnicity of the people, rubbing elbows on the busy sidewalks...The Greengrocer were, proudly showing off, their fresh colorful fruit and vegetables, neatly arranged in boxes. 'Hot Dog' stands and I was looking at the Horse and Buggy in Central Park, next to the Plaza Hotel, looking for 'passengers'... The fancy stores on 5th Ave, were 'teasing' the freezing people on the street, by displaying Bathing Suits and Bikinis for Cursing, Looking at the Coffee shops and the 'Waitresses' who were wearing tiny white caps and pink dresses, covered with white Lace Aprons, which made them look like 'Wrinkled little girls'... I particularly enjoyed looking at the Tulips, which suddenly appeared after the snow, at the middle of the boulevards, blooming like small red flames along Park Avenue and Columbus Circle...

Flowers vendor

    I once took the elevator to the top of the One Hundred and Twenty Stories, of  the Empire State Building and was looking down, watching the Sky-Scrapers of Manhattan... From such height it is hard to see the filth and garbage,which was not collected, the neglected children with runny noses, the drug addicts, the prostitutes and pimps on the street corners.. Everything looked lovely from where I stood... After all the Law of Nature tells us, that 'Small Things' are Always Beautiful: Like Babies, Puppies, Kittens and even little Hippos and baby Pigs...

The Empire
State Building

   As I was looking down, I could see a tiny Miniature of a 'Clean and Innocent Manhattan', small and vulnerable, as if it could be wiped off the face of the earth by one sneeze of a Storybook Giant..."Is this how God sees our world, when he looks down?"... One day after a long visit in the near by Museum, I saw a small Park near 5th Ave and Broadway and sat on a bench to rest my feet. Next to me on top of a Marble Pillar, stood a Life Size bronze statue of a Seated Man... His head which was bowed down, looked so real it seemed as if he was staring at me  I noticed the lines of sadness on his face and the empty spots, at the center of his head; where the 'Bronze Hair' didn't growl; feeling sad for him:A poor lonley man sitting like this day and night, month after month, summer and winter; who can not even lift his arm to chase away the annoying birds which were landing on his face, arms and hand; feeling sorry for him...

   Suddenly, like a Ray of Sun appearing from behind a cloud, and a thought came in to my mind...It made me realize that I no longer have to wounder about the content of the book, which I wanted to write! It will be about this Amazing City! I will write about Manhattan! And so I did.... I stopped my long walks and set next to the huge old desk, beneath the window of our apartment, overlooking the Hudson River and started to write... According to Avi: "This desk should bring you luck with the book, since it served several Israeli scholars and writers before! I gently passed my fingers on the smooth, dark Mahogany Wood, and felt a "Chill' climbing up my spine... I visualized my loyal 'Small Typewriter', placed  on this desk as I begin to write about  N.Y. The Giant City which never sleeps... Using a 'Poetic License', I wrote short stories like Rhyme-less Poems, describing the essence of Manhattan: The rhythm and flavors the colors, smells and sounds, as well as the similarities and contradictions of this city which I fell in love with... I would write tear up the page and start all over again, until I was finally pleased...By the end of four months I was able to have a collection of fifty short stories in Hebrew...

   One of our Israeli visitors, who was going back home, offered to take my 'New born book'  to a Publishing House in Tel Aviv..To my surprise and delight, my little book was accepted for"Publication!" It would take several more months to see the light.The reviews were mixed  One Critic praised it's "Original style", while another wrote it had "No Unity. Three hundred copies of my small yellow book were sold. I guess it was not the 'Masterpiece' was dreaming  about writing in high school, but I was satisfied and named it:"Crumbs from Manhattan."

With Love and Light,
Shira

Purging and Healing.. V,X. 00V V

Hello everyone,

    I usually try to incorporate some 'New Age news' in my blog... However, although there is a lot to    share, about the amazing changes which take place, as we move towards the 5D;"The Fifth Dimension"    I feel that my previous post did not quiet come to an end... So I'll skip the news and go back to 1969   when I lived in Greenwich Village for awhile, before moving to the Upper West Side of Manhattan.

   In the post New York, New York, It's a Wonderful Town  I described, how my suppressed pain over  Paul's Marriage, burst out like an" Emotional Flood", after receiving a letter from my friend Tsipi, about  Paul's visit and her understanding, that he was very unhappy... I wrote in that post how I was taken back  to painful and dark moments, after I heard about his marriage and painful feelings of lose, betrayal and extreme Loneliness...The pain got worst when I forced myself to go out on dates...The moment my 'Date' tried to hold my hand, put his arm around me or give me an innocent 'Good Night Kiss' I would cringe  my head would pound with severe 'Migraine Headache, I would be Nauseated and couldn't wait to come back to my apartment and throw up... After several times of such reactions I realized that I was in trouble and needed help... (The ward 'Bulimia' was not known yet...)

   I finally found a Psychiatrist, who was willing to give me a 'Student Discount' and start Therapy for    the first time in my life... The young doctor, gave me a choice of sitting on the chair, across from his    table, or recline on a comfortable sofa by the wall: I chose the sofa... He was holding a notebook and spoke very little, encouraging me to explore and express myself, when I had difficulties arriving to my own Conclusions...He didn't have to do much; my "Aha Moments" kept on coming one after the other with great speed... I often heard a note of admiration in the doctor's voice, like the time I talked about    my idea of using the Power of the Mind, to create some kind of "Alchemy", which turns the Negative thoughts and emotions, in to Positive; the way we do with the power of Electricity: Creating Heat in          the winter or the other way around: Cold in the summer the time...

   As my therapy progressed, this young doctor, tried to help me understand, what was going on with     me... I was shocked to learn that the Uncontrollable urge of Eating and Purging, was not uncommon          I am not sure if during those days, it was already called Bulimia, but the mere fact, my doctor said I      was not the "Only one on this planet", who suffers from such strange behavior, was a great relief!  Therapy helped me realize that as long as I was blaming Paul for our breakup, I was making myself          a Victim! By nature, victims are weak, fearful, dependent and helpless. Feeling Helpless is what     Bulimia is all  about;  as if it was an attempt to Purge the emotional pain... 

   Being helpless, was the last thing I expected to be, since I defined myself as a very powerful person, who always accomplished most of my goals! Even though I began to assume responsibly for My part      in the Breakup with Paul, before starting therapy, analyzing it with a Psychiatrist, was very liberating      by enabling me free myself, from the Helplessness of  being a Victim...The therapy was helping me realize, that I was finally allowing myself to "Morn" my lost relationship with Paul and understand that instead of being afraid of the"Attacks" (as I called the Bulimic episodes) I should embrace them, since they were helping me release Toxic Emotions of pain and helplessness... This way of thinking: the 'Importance of embracing the "Bad", by giving it a "Good meaning", would become my personal       'Life's Philosophy' and the Corner Stone of my future work as a Psychologist... 

  The "Aha" moments, kept on coming even outside the Psychiatrist's office...After getting to know     most of the 'Village', I would walk through other parts of the city, feeling Free and Liberated! Just          as  it was on the Queen Anna Maria, I must have been 'Radiating' the same kind of Energy' which  attracted people to me... (Love Potion). I was approached by strangers (both men and women) in  museums, book stores, galleries, coffee shops and even on the subway... People started conversations  with  me and seemed reluctant to say goodbye... Even my Neighbors in the Village, who didn't notice         me before; were suddenly behaving as if I was an old friend...

   There was one more person who was attracted to this New Light' I seemed to radiated...As the therapy progressed, my Psychiatrist was slowly inching his chair, closer and closer to the side of the sofa, on  which I was lying and started to stroke my arm... I was very naive in those days, believing he was trying  to comfort me... At one point I began to feel confused and uncomfortable, I stopped talking and stared at him for several moments, wondering if I was imagining things..."Is the way I touch your arm makes you feel good?" The doctor asked... I was stunned, confused, and searching for the proper answer..."Is this what they call Touch Therapy?" I finally asked, remembering hearing something about it before... The doctor did not answer, he kept on stroking me and then said: "Do you like me?" I hesitated, confused        and unsure of what my response should be...  "Until now I believed you are an  excellent Psychiatrist!"      When I first came to see you, I was in a bad place... You helped me a lot! I no longer vomit and the pain over Paul seems to be getting lighter!" XI said. "I am glad I was able to help, but what I really want to know is if you like me as a Man?" The doctor said and moved his hand to stroke my hair; "Accidentally'' touching my breast. My confusion turned into alarm:"What is going on?" I was asking myself, "Was I Imagining things? Did he really touch my breast or was it an accident?... How about those strokes of my arm and hair? Did I just imagined it? Was it my fault? Maybe I gave him the wrong idea? Am I so stupid and naive, not to recognize what was going on just now? "No! am not stupid, nor am I naive! This man is breaking his Doctor-Patient confidentiality?!"

  For a few moments I was speechless, then recovering quickly, moved his hand away, stood up and looked down at him... "You asked me if I like you as a man, I said calmly, "To be honest, you are not        at all my Type... I prefer tall and well built men, with a nice head of hair! I particularly dislike Skinny Short and Balding men like you! Your arms, hands and even your upper fingers, are covered with hair  and I am sure it is the same with the rest of your body: Just like a monkey! The answer to your question   is NO! I don't 'like you as a man' ! As a matter of fact, I find you Repulsive! I am also realizing, that you  are not fit to be a Psychiatrist! I should report your behavior, but you are not worthy of wasting my time!" I picked up my bag and left the room, closing the office door behind me for the last time!

#MeToo movement (female sexual abuse)
Started in 2006, popularized in 2017

With Love and Light,
Shira