Branching Apart... (turn blue to black) X. V, OO What about the young photos of us below?

Hello everyone.

    I began my spiritual journey at the age of fifteen, after discovering my 'Gift of Creation', when               I was able to manifest a long time desire, of getting out of the 'Confines' of my tiny country Israel        which was trapped within three borders with our Arab Neighbors... I wanted to see the world which           I read about and saw in the movies...  Eventually manifest several of my desires; becoming a Teacher       a Journalist, a Play writer, Directer, Psychologist, published a book, traveled the world and fell in love      I experienced two incredible "Love Affairs" The first one was Paul (Love Potion)  and the second; my darling husband Al... (A Small Snail)!  ///Bring up photos of Al and me  from below.....

 It was not always easy to ride on this 'Seesaw' of Life; rising up to discover new horizons and plunging down... Early on I begin to realize that this process of balancing, is not for the "Fainthearted", since these 'Ups and Downs, could often leave us dizzy, disoriented and confused...("What's going on? Where am        I now? What is coming next?")  It could also flood us, with powerful Joy and feelings of great Elation        I was also wondering, when was this 'Roller Coaster ride' (Our Life's Journey) coming to an end, so we can catch our breath and finally arrive to the Fifth Dimension; the place of Balance, Joy and Peace as   well as Unconditional Love and Oneness Consciousness...X

   During my life journey, I was presented with many challenges; one which was the most frightening   was a Brain Tumor, which I named 'Tom the Tumor', which was thankfully removed without leaving        a trace. (The Beginning). True to my believes; that "Everything is happening for a reason"and"I that        in every 'Curse' there is the Seed of a Blessing",I realize that Tom (my Tumor) came into my life, so          I begin writing my blog "Tumor Humor", as well as coming in touch once again, with my old gift of Creative Writing. Judging by the growing amount of readers, I was delighted to see how my blog was inspiring people, to overcome Life Threatening Diseases, by encouraging them to embrace their own 'Healing Powers' of Laughter and Positive Thinking; in order to improve their lives... 

   At one point, during my discovery of to the up coming Fifth Dimension, I was faced with a another          challenge, not as  big and dramatic as the Brain Tumor was, but a Powerful Challenge as well, which        required an immense power of Courage and Optimism... At one point, my beloved husband Physical     and Emotional Health were beginning to decline and it seemed as if he was giving up on life... I on       the other hand, was looking forward to our upcoming Journey to the 5th Dimension, the New Age          of Higher Consciousness which I could see blinking at me in the Horizon...

    For sometime Al was complaining about the noise of the Airplanes, passing over our house, on           their way to 'Burbank Airport' (I didn't even notice it...) Al was getting to be more and more agitated     with 'This Noise' (which we lived with for the past twenty years...) and was expressing the desire to move  in to a more peaceful neighborhood... Since the Business was sold, my husband became restless  and easily bored... He was  repeatedly talking about selling our house and move to an elegant 'Assisted Living in Beverly Hills'... I was patiently explaining that since I am six years younger then him and was not ready to make such a move yet and most probably Never will! (which I didn't say) I loved our house  and it was comfortable to work from home, where I was seeing my Clients (Not 'Patients' mind you...)  After my refusal to move, Al felt betrayed and became angry: "If so, I will move by myself!" he declared like a little boy, refusing to discus this topic any farther... I offered to help him find a great suitable and expensive place, in Beverly Hills; very 'fancy' and beautifully furnished and decorated,with the kind of expensive European Furniture which he liked... 

 We eventually found a beautiful Senior Citizens Hotel in Beverly Hills, where he wanted to be... Ilan (One of Karen's several ex 'fiancés) helped us shop for the furniture and I decorated Al's  new living space, with some of his favorite pictures and books, as well as  his childhood Photo Albums and some framed photos of our small family, including the dogs... After he moved to his new place, I would visit him daily, for the first two weeks; trying to help him adjusted and get to know the residents  with whom I would start a conversations and introduce them to Al, amazed and shocked, to see my usually confident and out going husband, becoming a vulnerable frightened child and  was shedding tears in the car, on the way home after my visits... 

   "How can you be all by yourself  Shira?" My concerned friends and relatives were asking me Surprisingly, I was doing very well... Going on with my daily routine as before; working, seeing            my clients taking walks with Moses,our beloved dog, meeting friends and going on with most of            the activities, I used to  have before Al moved out... I had a few moments of sadness (even tears)                after going to bed; watching Moses sniffing Al's pillow and looking at me with bewilderment...              But I wouldn't let myself sink into feelings of loneliness or self pity; hoping Al would get use to              his new place and be much happier to be with people his own age, while I was busy with my work      

    It seemed that I was ready to embrace a new chapter in my life... This time, without my husband           of almost half a century... Al was never able to share in my "Spiritual growth", on the contrary, he       was  uncomfortable whenever this subject came up and used to 'Make Fun' of this topic when I was sharing information about the 'Upcoming Transition from the 3rd to the 5th Dimension...Even  though  Al's remarks (rather jokes) regarding my 'Spiritual Discoveries', seemed to be light and Good Nurtured      it hurt my feelings... Unlike me (the spiritual one) Al was much more 'Grounded'! and was doing very  well in his Furniture Business, an area which was foreign to me...As the years passed by and I became more involved in the subjects of Metaphysics and Spirituality, I could feel how my Albie was beginning  to withdraw, especially when I started to give Seminars about "Life After Death"... For some reason my new 'Spiritual interests'' seemed to frighten Al, which he was unwilling to admit, or at least try to learn more about the new Spiritual Shift in my life,  which was named by my 'Practical  husband': "All the Nonsense about an up coming move to some place called the Fifth Dementia"... 

     At one point I began to realize, that my good nature,fun loving and adorable husband, was turning   into a resentful, grumpy old man; making sarcastic remarks and poking fun at my work! This did not make me happy, to put it mildly..."We are not getting younger" XAl said at one point X "I think it may     be time for us to move into a nice 'Assisted Living' in Beverly Hills!"x A part of me was devastated, I couldn't believe that the man I love so much, was ordering me around and beaming a "Grumpy old man" in front of my eyes (and ears)...  I knew that Al's father suffered from 'Clinical Depression, in his later years and was wondered if it may be hereditary... Was this the reason for Al's sudden decision to sell the Business and move? could he be 'disenchanted' with me, or feel rejected and maybe even jealous, at his success I was achieving in my work?  Was he feeling 'betrayed by my refusal to move in with him, to the Assisted Living Hotel?" It is so Unfair to be angry with me darling!" I finally told him."After all you are six years older then me; perhaps in the future I will be ready to make such a dramatic move, like this one but not now, not yet!"  I missed our life together and was often looking at the photos in our Albums and some of them which were decorating the walls.  

			photo gone
Falling in Love	Engagement	'Newly wed'	Honey moon	Married coupleXXX

    As I look back I realize that Al's depression, which began after his retirement, got worse when Marco  his closest Pal, passed away... He began to isolate, refusing to go out or see our friends and was often getting annoyed at me without an obvious reason... I refused to join him, when he brought up the idea of  the two of us moving to a Retirement Home and even though my heart broke, at the thought of separation  I was not at all ready to stop my work!  I could see how unhappy and lost my poor husband was and could only hope (rather Trust) that being with people his age, would do him good... Al's new place was less then  thirty minutes drive from our house; close enough to get there if he needed me! I was truly hoping that my poor sweet husband would be happier there, then be alone at home while I was working....

With Love and Light,
Shira