Branching Apart... (turn blue to black) XXX. V, OO What about the young photos of us below?

Hello everyone.

    I began my spiritual journey at the age of fifteen, after discovering my 'Gift of Creation', when               I was able to manifest a long time desire, of getting out of the 'Confines' of my tiny country Israel        which was trapped within three borders, with our Arab Neighbors... I wanted to see the world I read            about and saw in the movies...  Eventually manifest several of my desires, by becoming a Teacher, a Journalist, A Play writer, Directer, Psychologist, Published a book, Traveled the world and falling in love.In my twenties, I experienced two incredible "Love Affairs" The first one was Paul (Love Potion)  and the second; my darling husband Al... X(A Small Snail)!  ///Bring up photos of Al and me  from below.....X

 It was not always easy to ride on this 'Seesaw' of Life; rising up to discover new horizons and plunging down... Early on I begin to realize that this process of balancing, is not for the "Fainthearted", since these 'Ups and Downs, could often leave us dizzy, disoriented and confused...("What's going on? Where am        I now? What is coming next?")  It could also flood us, with powerful Joy and feelings of great Elation        I was also wondering, when was this 'Roller Coaster ride' (Our Life's Journey) coming to an end, so we can catch our breath and finally arrive to the Fifth Dimension; the place of Balance, Joy and Peace as   well as Unconditional Love and Oneness Consciousness...X

   During my life journey, I was presented with many challenge; one of the most difficult, was a Brain        Tumo, which I named 'Tom the Tumor'... It was thankfully remove without leaving a trace... (The Beginning). True to my believes, that "Everything is happening for a reason" and that "In every Curse       there is the Seed of Blessing", I realize that Tom (my Tumor) came into my life, so I start writing my  blog "Tumor Humor", as well as coming in touch again, with my old gift of Creative Writing. Judging    by the growing amount of readers, I was truly delighted to see how my blog, was inspiring people to overcome Life Threatening diseases, by encouraging them, to embrace their own 'Healing Powers' of Laughter and Positive Thinking, in order to improve their lives... 

   At one point, during my discovery of to the up coming Fifth Dimension, I was faced with a very         big challenge, not as dramatic as my Brain Tumor was, but nevertheless, a Powerful Challenge        which  required an immense amounts of Courage and Optimism... At one point, my beloved husband     Al, Physical and Emotional Health, were beginning to decline and it seemed, as if he was giving up        on life... I on the other hand, was looking forward  to our upcoming Journey to the 5th Dimension, the New Age of Higher Consciousness, which I could see blinking in the Horizon...

    For sometime, Al was complaining about the noise of the Airplanes, passing over our house on        their way to Burbank Airport (I didn't even notice it...) Al was getting to be more and more agitated     with this noise (which we lived with for the past twenty years...) I expressed the need to move to a     more peaceful neighborhood... Since he sold his business, Al became restless and easily bored; telling   me repeatedly, about his wish to sell our house and move to an elegant Assisted Living in Beverly Hills    I was patiently explaining, that since I am six years younger then him, and was not ready to make such     a move; not yet anyway (and most probably Never...)  I loved our house, where I was also seeing my clients (Not Patents, mind you...) After my refusal to move from our home, Al felt betrayed and became  angry... "So I will move by myself!" He declared, like a little boy, refusing to discus this topic any farther   I offered to help him find a great, suitable place, where he will be very comfortable;  A place which would be nice and fancy, the way he likes... Eventually Al accepted my offer and we found a beautiful Senior Citizens hotel in Beverly Hills, where he wanted to be... Ilan (One of Karen's several 'fiancés) helped us shop for furniture and I decorated the new living space, with some of Al's favorite pictures     and books, as well as with his childhood Photo Albums and some framed photos of our small family including the dogs... After Al's move, I would visit him daily for the first two weeks; trying to help him adjusted and get to know the residents we met... I would start a conversations and introduce them to Al My usually out going husband, seemed to be like a vulnerable, frightened child, which made me cry in  my car, on the way home after my visits... 

   "How can you be all by yourself  Shira?" My concerned friends and relatives, were asking me... Surprisingly, I was doing very well... Going on with my daily routine as before; seeing my clients     taking walks with our dog Moses, meeting friends and going on with the same activities, I used to      have before Al moved out... I had a few moments of sadness, even tears, after going to bed,watching Moses sniffing Al's pillow and looking at me with bewilderment... However, I wouldn't let myself        sink into feelings of loneliness or self pity and was hoping, Al would get used to his new place and         be happier with people his own, while I was busy, working long hours...    

    It seemed that I was ready to embrace a new chapter in my life... This time, without my husband         of  almost half a century... Al was never able to share in my Spiritual growth, on the contrary; for       some reason, he was very uncomfortable whenever this subject came up and used to make fun of          this topic, especially when I was sharing information, about the Upcoming Transition from the 3rd           to the 5th Dimension...  Even though, Al's remarks (rather jokes) regarding my spiritual discoveries seemed to be good natured, they hurt my feelings... Unlike me, Al was much more 'Grounded' and         was doing very well in his furniture business, an area which was foreign to me...As the years passed      by and I became more involved in the subjects of Metaphysics and Spirituality, I could feel my Albie beginning to withdraw, when I began to give Seminars about Life After Death... For some reason my   new 'Spiritual interests'', seemed to frighten Al, but he was unwilling to admit it, or at least, try learn  more, about the new spiritual shifts in my life, which my 'Practical' husband named: X"All the Nonsense about an up coming move to some place called the Fifth Dimensia"... 

     At one point I began to realize, that my good nature, fun loving and adorable husband, was turning  into a resentful, grumpy old man; who was making sarcastic remarks and poking fun at my work! This  did not make me happy, to put it mildly... "We are not getting younger" X  Al told me, one day X "I think it may be time for us to moveX into a nice 'Assisted Living' in Beverly Hills!"x A part of me was devastated I couldn't believe, that the man I love so much, was ordering me around and becalming a "Grumpy old man"... I knew that Al's father, suffered from a Clinical Depression, in his later years and wonderd it may it be hereditary... Is this the reason for Al's sudden decision, to sell the business and move?  could Al be  disenchanted with me, or feels rejected and jealous, at the success I was achieving in my work?  Was he feeling betrayed and rejected, by my refusal to move in with him to the Assisted Living Hotel? "It is so unfair to be angry with me Albey!" I finally told him." After all, you are six years older then me, perhaps in a few years, I will be ready to make such a dramatic move, but not now! not yet!""  XxxxMove up the photos  above...X

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Falling in Love	Engagement	Newly wedsX	Honeymoon	Married coupleXXX

    As I look back, I realize that Al's depression, which began after his retirement, got wors after Marco   his closest Pal, passed away... After selling his business, my poor husband's depressio, was getting worse... He began to isolate, refusing to go out or see our friends and was often getting anno at me  without an obvious reason... When he brought up the idea of moving to the Retirement Hom by       himself (after I refused to joined him) I was somewhat relived, even though my heart broke at the  thought of separation... I could see how unhappy and lost, my poor husband was and could only         hope  (rather Trust) that being with people his age, would do him good... Al's new place, was less        then thirty minutes drive from our home, close enough to get there, if he needed me and I was truly hopin that my poor sweet husband, would be happier there...

With Love and Light,
Shira