Al and I (with my 'growing belly') arrived at Sandy and Edie's two story house, in a peaceful suburb of Atlanta. There was a small 'Forest' behind the fence, where deer were coming to have a drink and look at us with curiosity...The small lovely home had two stories: Al and I were given the room, next our Hosts two adapted boys: Seven years old Bobby and five years old Gery...The kids were fascinated with the "Baby in 'Aunt Shira's Tummy." I would invite the boys to touch my belly, whenever the baby was moving around and the wonderment in their eyes, would fill my heart with Joy!
On New Year's Day, our hosts invited their group of friends for a Sunday Brunch; to introduce us... Everyone was extremely warm and friendly, welcoming us to their beautiful city, with typical Southern Hospitality:"Welcome to Atlanta Y'all, make sure to come and visit us at our home, you hear"! X I met Carol at "Hadasa", the Jewish women organization,which Sandy took me, in spite of my protests, that I didn't care for 'segregation' ("Women only") I was introduced to Dana, another pregnant woman, who had a one year old daughter and was in her fourth month of a second (Unplanned) pregnancy... The two of us became instant friends! Al and I met with my friend Joel, the High school principal I knew in N.Y, whos Israeli wife Sara, was pregnant as well... We also met two other 'Israeli/American couples like us... Our social life was blooming and flourishing! Three weeks after staying at Sandy and Eddy's house, we moved to a small apartment near by... Sandy and I became very close and were running around shopping for whatever a young couple, with a small baby may need...
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| Karen and Al in the hospital |
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| Karen and mom at home |
In those days, parents did not know the sex of their baby, before Birth.. Clara, my mother- in law; who predicted that "It will be a Girl", was right! Al and I became parents to a baby girl, whom we named 'Karen, Clara Deitsch'. Like many new mothers, I suffered from 'Postpartum Depression', many women may go through after giving birth...I Couldn't understand what was 'Wrong with me"and was very unhappy (rather dipressed) Why? After all Al and I finally 'settled down' in this great city, which seemed to be perfect for of us! We had a healthy and adorable baby, with whom we were 'Madly in Love, making many new friends! However, inspite of my "Sunny Personality" I felt depressed...I blamed it on my 'C section Operation' and the fact, my mother was not by my side, during such an important and challenging event in my life...My behavior seemed strange, to put it very mildly! I was waking up in panic at the middle of the night, run to the baby's room and sit by her crib, making sure she was breathing and had an irrational fear, that if I go back to sleep, my baby may stop breathing... During these dark hours, I planned to write a book about "Motherhood", which was treated in the Western World as 'Holey Cow' was, in India... No one ever dared to complain or say anything negative about it!
" Never before did I realize, how Difficult it was to be a Mother! I always believed it was 'Wonderful! I told my new friends and was surprised, when they agreed and began to complain, thanking me for giving them an opportunity to 'Vent Out' (Two new English wards...) We shared how exhausted we all were, after 'breast feeding' or 'Warming bottles' at the middle of the night, while holding a shirking baby in one arm... During the day, we told each other how 'Sleep Deprived', all of us were... We shared the fears and sens of helplessness, when our baby was screaming and wouldn't calm down! The frequent calls and visits to the Pediatrician; with real or 'Imagined' problems... These mothers confessed to me it was the First Time, they 'dared' talk or complain, about being a mother and how relived they were after doing so... My new friends, encouraged me to go on, with my idea of writing a book about it and I gave them my promise to do so; when and if I could find a few moments for myself..."We should warn and prepare New Mothers about it, so they wouldn't think that something was wrong with Them !"...
Since Steve, Al's younger brother, was born when Al was eleven, he was more at ease with our baby then I was... ( The youngest in my family) He helped (Rather teaching me) how to give Karen a bath changed her diapers, prepared her formula and helped me feeding her, until I completely recovered from my C-Section surgery and gained my strength back.. One of the reasons, I didn't write the book about the 'Difficulties of Motherhood'; was my fear, that when Karen grows up and reads it; she may think I was a 'Terrible Mother'... However, the main reason for not writing, was that after a month I fell 'madly in love' with our baby and the 'Fears' Vanished!... When Karen was about three months old, my mother came from Israel to Atlanta and stayed at our urging, for four months... Al's father, his brothers, uncle Jack and aunt Roslyn, Clara's sister; came to see and welcome the new arrival to the Deitsch family... The first baby girl (After Lewis and Nancy's two boys) who we named "Karen, Clara Deitsch!"
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| Al and Karen |
Shira's mom |
Aunt Roslyn | With Grandpa |
With uncle Jack |
With some of our friends |
Shira and Karen |
When Karen turned six months, I started to teach at the local Hebrew High School, where I worked four hours each Sunday... I chose to work a few hours only, because I didn't want my baby to be without her mother for too long. According to my mom, new mothers, should not be separated from their babies at all! "Because babies need to be physically close to their moms, at least until they start going to Nursery School!" However, these few hours once a week, away from the roll of being a Mother, helped me keep in touch with the world I lived in before... I was very much in love with my baby and her dad, delighted with my new roll in my life, in spite of my the lack of sleep and the 'Starvation die', in order to get ride of the extra pound, I gain during pregnancy.. At one point I organized a group of young mothers and their babies, which met twice a week at each other's home... ( Way before "Mommy and Me"...) On weekends Al and I, would take rides with our baby, through Atlanta's neighborhoods...We enjoyed the sight of the Dogwood Trees, blooming in the spring, painting the city pink, with their blossom... The two of us were trying to make up our minds, in which neigberhood we should buy our first house... Although we were concerned about the price, we knew it will all work out. and it did! When Al's father and uncle Jack told us they would help with the perches of our first home...
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| "We are a happy family!" |
Blossoming dogwoods in the Spring | Mommy and me |
During one of these rides, Karen, who was about ten months old, was sitting on my lap (Car seats for babies were not required yet...) I was pointing and naming whatever we passed: X"Look at this big House Karen! These are trees covered with pink flowers!"X Our baby was looking out the window, mumbling her incoherent 'Baby sounds':"Hou...Ca...Wa...Pit...Tee". Al smiled: "She is trying to repeat what you are saying! XHe said: "House', 'Car,' and 'Pretty Trees!" He said... "How can you tell?!" I said astonished... "Babies grow up at one point!"Al was x laughing, at my expression of wonder and amazement! "Don't forget I was already eleven when my bother Steven was born"... Life could not have been better! Even though Al was began to complain that our apartment was too small. We truly enjoyed this beautiful city and the new friends we made, looking forward for the day we buy our first house: X"With a small garden, sand box and a swing"... The two of us didn't think, or even imagined, that a big 'Recession' is about to come and crash our dreams! When it did, the first to be affected were Restaurants and Hotels, like the one Al was working in... Several of our new friends were losing their business and two couples, had to sell their home The hotel which Al worked in, had to close down and my poor husband, was in a state of panic! I stayed calm... " No big deal Al! You will have to look for a job in another state,"I am sure you will even find a better place then this 'Small Hotel'! After all, you are used to Big Hotel Chains... It may be happening for the best and could be a blessing in disguise!"X I said."But we love it here!" Al protested. "Atlanta is a great place to live in! The weather is perfect and we made so many new friends! I hate the thought of starting all over again!"X"We must "Go with the Flow, darling!"x I said and these ward would become the 'Mantra' I would be be using again and again, thorough out our life together...
My poor Al was running around looking for employment; pacing back and fourth in the small apartment I felt so sorry for him... One evening, our neighbors offered to 'Baby Sit' for Karen, so the two of us could use our concert tickets', for the Atlanta Symphony Orchestra... We still had several tickets left form the ' 'season tickets' which we bought in better times... During the break, I glanced at my poor husband's sad gloomy expression and said cheerfully: "Don't you think that since we are going to be in Paris, we might as well go to London as well?..."I asked (as if it was true)... Al didn't miss a beat: "Of course! And Rome as well! I would like to start exposing Karen to travel at an early age!" We were standing,'weaving our dreams' and for a while, forgetting how deeply concerned we were, about the next steps we should take in order to move on... How could we know, that four years later, Al would be established in a successful business of his own and at one point, our small family of three, would fly to Paris and continue to London and Italy and stay at the Villa d'Este; A Palace, which was converted to one of the most exclusive hotels in Europe, located on the shores of the magnificent Lake Como...It seemed as if my"Inner Creator", had the ability to Manifest most of my 'dreams' and was behind the "Voice" which was weaving them, on the night we stood on the balcony of the Concert Hall in Atlanta. It was the same old gift of "Creation through the Spoken Wards", which I first discovered, when I was fifteen...The same "Inner Voice"which helped me 'Materialize' our High School trip to Cyprus... (From Public School to High School.)
Two weeks after the concert, Al received a great Job offer, as the Assistant Manage, in a large hotel of a well known Chain... This hotel was known for it's important Golf Tournaments, which drew people from the U.S, as well as other countries... The new hotel was located in Augusta Georgia... We knew very little bout this city nor did we know, anyone who lived there... Al was very upset about losing the friends we made in Atlanta, but I was able to calm him down and was delighted and relieved, when he began to be excited... I loved my husband so much, I would move with him to the end of the world, just to see him happy! A few days later, Al traveled to Augusta Georgia, to meet the president and the manger of the New Hotel... He phoned me full of enthusiasm... X"The people he met so far were very pleasant, the hotel was impressive and he found a 'Spacious Apartment' for us! Would I trust him to get it without seeing it first?" I always trusted Al's taste and told him to go ahead... We celebrated Karen's first birthday, with the friends we made in Atlanta and began to get ready for our big move.... Karen's vocabulary was growing and I was keeping a written list of her progress... She started with One-syllable words: Dog, Cat, Duck, Star, Kiss Hug and progressed to Two-syllables: 'Ima' ( Mom in Hebrew) Da-lin ("Darling" for Al) and a few other new short words, Al and I were using... It was so 'beyond exiting', to hear our baby talks!
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| Karen's first birthday in Atlanta |
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| Having fun with "Da-ling" |
We were sad to part from the good friends, we made in Atlanta who promised to visit us...They came to say good- by, hugging us with teary eyes and were saying in their 'Cute' Southern Ascents; "Y'all come back to see us, ya hear?!" After sending our furniture and other household items ahead, got with our baby into the car and were on our way,to settle down in a city we have never heard befor: Augusta, Georgia!
________________________________________________________________________________________Agua, Augusta Georgia, (The deep south) XX A separate post
How can one be politically correct, when it comes to describe the new city we came to live in? To put it mildly: It was a culture shock!... After moving six times (three times in L.A) I often watch the 'Silent Videos' we took during those days... They are showing the many churches in Augusta, as well as some of the"Spiritual Massages" on billboards along the free ways... One of them was saying: "With the blood of Jesus, you will wash your sins!"... Our black maid Essie, was looking very scared, when Al and I smiled and treating her as our equal...After awhile, she got used to us and fell in love with Karen.. Essie was a bit shocked, to hear how Karen, who was only one and a half years old, was singing the ABC song and saying: "Hi Essie!", before running to welcome her with hugs and kisses... Many years later, after watching the movie Gone with the Wind, Karen would tell her friends that she too, was born in the South and had a Mammy like Scarlett O'Hara did, in "Gone with the wind" ...
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| Chain gang |
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| "Scarletts" Home |
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This city, was very different from Atlanta... It was much smaller, with a few 'Chain Restaurants': The Waffle House, Mellow Mushroom and several 'Mom and Pop's' Eateries'... The only fine restaurant was located at the hotel, where Alwas working... Once, when I was driving alone with Karen, I saw a line of prisoners, chained to one another, sweating heavily in the hot sun...These miserable people, walked with two gurds holding guns, just a few feet away from my car, which was unlocked! For a minute I was frozen with fear... "What if one of them, runs toward us and grabs my baby?" I have never felt such terror before Another time, I was shopping at the supermarket with Karen sitting in the cart, smiling and waving... I was listening to the woman, standing in front of me, who holding the hand an adorable little boy, whom she was constantly yelling at and reprimanding an was telling her friend: "I have to beat up this boy every night, until I get him to go to sleep!"...' What am I doing here'? I found myself wondering but couldn't stay silent: I walked to the child, stroked his head and said to the mother; X"What a beautiful boy you have. he is such a Sweetheart!" X The woman smiled back and kissed her little boy... In spite of the many friends we made in Augusta, after joining the Jewish Temple, we began to wonder how much longer,I'll be ablel to stay in this city'...x" Al on the other hand, was enjoying his work and position in the company, as well as the people he worked with...
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3 done
About seven months after we came to Augusta, Al was sitting at a meeting, when one of his co-workers began to tell 'Antisemitic' Jokes, which the others seemed to enjoy... Evidently people didn't realize Al is Jewish, since his last name "Deitsch", is German... This was the last straw, which made us realize that in spite of the nice group of friends,which we cultivated, Augusta was not for us..We came to the conclusion that our next move, would be to Florida... Al's uncle Jack, his father's brother, lived in Miami Beach with second wife Natalie... Aunt Roslyn, Al's mother's sister was Al's favorite aunt; She now lived with her husband Uncle Murray, near by. Uncle Joe, (whose late wife was aunt Rose, was Al's fathers' sister... )was was now married to Yeta, his new wife, living in a close proximity, to the rest of the "clan"... Now, that we had a child, we I were delighted to be next to this close and loving relatives, who were just as glad, to have a young couple and a sweet baby (Karen) to be with...
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We joined the local Jewish temple, made new friends and before long, I created a similar "Mommy and Me" group as I did in Atlanta... At one point, I suggested to get together with our husbands for dinner parties at each other's home... We decided that the hosting couple, would picks up a 'letter' from the alphabet and cook a 'Surprise Dinner', from the country which it's name begins with this letter... and after tasting the food, the gusts would try to guess, which country it was originated in... Al and I hosted the first dinner, starting with the letter A... We chose to cook an 'Arabic Meal'...One of the dishes,from my cookbook; 'Meals from Around the World', sugested "Stuffed Pigeons"... I looked for the smallest Cornish Hens I could find at the supermarket and stuffed the "Pigeons" with rice, fried onions, olives, raisins, pine nuts and exotic oriental spices, like Cardamon, Cayenne paper and a dash of Cinnamon... When our gusts refused to eat the "Poor Pigeons", I had to 'Confess my crime' and was rewarded by fits of laughter and eager eaters, who enjoyed the unfamiliar spicy dish... All throughout dinner, there was a loud conversation as well as 'light arguments' and a joyous laughter! Everyone fell in love with Al's sense of humor, after he described, how he 'Almost died from fear', during the Yom Kippur War, in Israel... (In the Land of Milk and Honey) From that day on, we started to have a great social life...The mothers and kids had lot's of fun when we met twice a week at a different house... We also celebrated together birthdays and the Jewish holidays, as well as having Play Dates for the kids...
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In spite of the good time and lovely friends we made, Al and I missed the life in a big city: The hustle and bustle of taxis and cars, fancy restaurants and crowds walking or sitting at sidewalks cafes...We weremissing the concerts of Classical Music, Opera, Museums, Art Exhibits, Theaters and a choice of Fine Restaurants... Al began to look for a job in hotels in Florida, but was unable to find one... He finally had to settle for a small, 'privately owned', hotel in Miami Beach, hoping to convince it's owner, to turn it into a larger and more profitable Hotel... I began to realize, that my husband would never be satisfied with a small business... He was always looking for the Largest, Nicer and more Expensive place to stay or dine in...Growing up in Israel, which was a young country, I had no chance to experience the luxury Al was used to... I began to fear, that my husband may never be satisfied, unless the hotel he is going to work in would be the most luxurious one in the city...
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| Karen's 2nd birthday in Augusta Georgia |
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| Happy birthday! |
Just as in our move from Atlanta to Augusta, we said good-by to the new friends, we grew to appreciate and love... A week after Karen's second birthday, we shipped our belongings ahead of us and were getting ready for the nine hours drive to Florida. Aunt Roslyn found a lovely town house for us... Al who always admired and trusted her taste, approved the photos she sent and like in our previous drive, from Atlanta to Augusta, we drove to our new home in Florida. This time Karen was able to talk with us in English and in Hebrew... The three of us were having a great time! Laughing and singing "Old Mac Donald Had a Farm", "If you are Happy and you know it clap your hands!" and other songs Karen knew... We would often stop to stretch our legs, dine at one of the restaurants, along the freeway and were looking forward for the next chapter in our life!
_________________________________________________________________________________________ A NEW POST
Moving again
Aunt Roslyn made an intensive research, before she found "A perfect apartment!" in a community of young families like us: Kendell in Florida... There was a small lake next to the complex, surrounded by grassy area and families of ducks, swimming and roaming around, which delighted Karen and the other kids who enjoyed feeding them... Unlike Atlanta and Augusta, where we had several groups of friends we now made friends with two other couples only. We were very busy with our older relatives, who longed for our company, especially that of Karen... Al and I, did our best to see them as often as we could, dividing between us the celebration of the Jewish holidays, as well as Labor Day, July 4th and Thanks givings... Al and I made sure to take out his father, uncles and aunts to fine restaurants,in order to celebrate their birthdays and anniversaries ,which played old fashion music... It was all so different from the way we celebrated in Israel, my small country...
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| Ducks in the pond | Al at his dad's birthday | Aunt Roselyn and Dad |
Uncle Murray's Birthday | Miami Beach |
Al was not happy in the hotel he worked... He complained it was much smaller, then those he worked in Puerto Rico and Georgia...X"The hotel hasn't been refurbished, for who knows how long and smelled badly!" He complained and couldn't understand, why the owner of the hotel was annoyed, after Al advised him to have a "Total Remodeling" of his hotel, in order to "Attract better kind of clients"... The amused owner said it is an "Excellent Advice and he was all for it; especially if 'Al would Pay for the renovations'. I was beginning to realize, that my husband's unhappiness with his work places, seems to be a repeating pattern... X"What was going on?"x I wondered X"Is Al still the pampered child, who was used to get what ever he wanted,without putting too much efforts into it? Would there ever be the kind of work he would be satisfied with? Are we going to keep on moving each year, until Al finally finds what he really likes?
It was not only the hotel which bothered Al... He was complaining about his eighty years old Uncle Jack and his second wife Natalie, who were constantly asking him, to come over and take them shopping at the near by supermarket... It was driving Al crazy, to wait after his long day at work, while Aunt Neatly, was squeezing each and every fruit and vegetable, to make sure it was fresh, while Uncle Jack was compering the prices of the many brands of 'Prune Juice' ("Good for Constipation!") in order see which one was the cheapest... "He has millions of dollars and no children!" X Al complained to meX " Why doesn't he get a driver to take him around, instead of asking me to do it, after my long day at X work, when all I want is to go home and be with my family!" I was beginning to get frustrated with Al's constant complaints, even though, this time I was unable to blame him...x
I made peace with the fact that my 'American husband', who was raised in the lap of 'luxury', is rather 'Spoiled' and has big"Dreams and Ambitions"... Realizing, that 'My Man' may never be happy, unless he has his Own Business, which he planed to turn in to a"Franchise"! (A new word I never heard before...) I began to teach at the Hebrew day school, where Karen,was going to the toddlers program. When the two hours were over, I would send two girls from the fourth grade I was teaching, to bring my toddler to our Class Room... The girls would fuss over Karen, as girls this age usually do, with younger kids; especially if this one is the 'Teacher's Daughter'... The nine years old kids in my class, would give Karen crayons and my two and a half years old 'Mini Student', was sitting on the chair, barely reaching the top of the desk; her feet dangling in the air and was scribbling, while watching her mother teach... She was covering the paper in front of her, with different colors and never interrupted me, not even once...
One evening, when Al and I came back from a dinner with friends, Karen's baby sitter told us that "Uncle Sam" called from New Jersey... Uncle Sam was Al's mother's brother, who took over his father's small 'Carpentry Shop' and turned it into a medium size, Furniture Company... When Al called him back Sam told him, he heard of a small furniture company in Los Angeles, (which is owned by "Two old Jewish German Refugees' which was for sail... If Al is interested they could buy the company and be able to combine, the West Coast operation in California, with Uncle Sam's business in the East Coast; sell their furniture in Europe and their Italian partners furniture, in the U.S... Uncle Sam suggested that Al should fly to California as soon as possible, in order to negotiate the buying of the company... I asked Al when he was leaving and he answered that he doesn't realy want to move to Los Angeles, because it is known to have Earthquakes ...
It was the first time in our marriage, that I lost my temper... I told him (rather loud) that I am tired of his 'Consent Complaints' about work and I begin to wounder, if anything would be Good Enough for him... " Listen Al, You can always say No, but first you must find out, if you are not missing the most important opportunity of your life!" Two days later Al flew to L.A and 'fell in love' with the Business ,X as well as with the city... Uncle Jack gave him an advance, which would later, be deducted, from the Inheritance he intended to leave for his six nephews and nieces... For the third time ,we were getting ready to move after one year... This time to the West Coast: L.A California!
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| 3rd birthday at school |
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| 3rd birthday at home |
Before Al left , we celebrated Karen's third birthday with our family and the new friends we made in Florida and were getting ready, for our move to L.A... Al drove his car by himself, since such a long trip would be way too difficult for our three years old Karen. I stayed behind to handle the shipping of our possessions, with the help of my Father in Law, Al's dad... Karen's kindergarten teachers was telling me, how our daughter, has been running around, singing the song; X"California here I come!"... Three weeks after Al found the right apartment, for his small family, Karen and I boarded a plane and flew West to Los Angele (the city of Angels) where we joined our "Darling" (as we bouth called Al) We knew, California would be our final destination...
With Love and Light,
Shira
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